Feeling pretty depressed

[gh05]

So i'm fed up of my life right now. I've been stuck in the same old boring admin jobs for 2 years now and i need to get out of it. I've got a degree in Computer Science but was never that confident that i learnt many skills from it.

There is a computing job that i can apply for which i might usually be able to apply for apart from the fact that i would have to give a presentation on something i'd know nothing about as part of the interview. I'm nowhere near confident enough to do this. I turned down an interview in the same place about 4-5 months ago for this same reason and have been quite miserable ever since. I can't go back to admin work (boring filing an photocopying everyday...although i have been saying this for a year) but i don't see myself being able to have the courage or skills to go through an intense interview and presentation.

I spend most of the time in my day thinking about how i can make money myself but i really don't feel i have the skills to do so.

[z1freeride]

In my opinion, the only solution that I see is for you to develop your skills or look for a less demanding cs job.

The more refined your skills are, the more confidence you'll have.

I got a job as a web developer which was over my head and it was miserable because I didn't how to a lot of the things that the job required. So, mustering up some kind of fake-confidence and applying for a very technical job won't help until you have the actual skills that that job requires.

Maybe you can find some small part-time cs projects that are within your skillset on craigslist (or other places)? I think in the technical world, it's all about increasing your skills and keeping up with new technologies.

[Jarrod]

If you don't go for an interview you will never get the job.

If you do go for the interview you might get the job. You want it right, then let them know you want it!

I don't quite understand the presentation, is it a on the spot topic? Or you just don't know much about the topic you have to present on. If it is the latter, learn.

Also look internally at what thoughts and emotions make you dislike your current job. If you don't deal with these they will creep up again in another job eventually.

[gh05]

Thanks for the replies.

Just to be a bit clearer, i don't know what the presentation is yet because i'm told a day or so before the interview what the topic is and then have to prepare for it and present it. The thing that is holding me back is my fear of presenting especially in an interview situation. I know for a fact that i would have got the last job i applied for if i had only done the interview/presentation because the person who would have been the interviewer actually told me so himself.

Jarrod, what I hate about my current job is the fact that:

(i) I spend every single day doing the exact same thing.
(ii) What i do requires no thought whatsoever, i feel like i never use my brain.
(iii) The pay is awful
(iv) I get treated like ♥♥♥♥♥ because of the level of work it is.


I feel like I've lost all confidence in myself...i've been trapped doing something i hate for 2 years and can't get out because my (i) I haven't got much to put on my CV because of my previous 2 years work experience. (ii) when a good opportunity does come up i don't have the confidence to go for it. If this job interview didn't contain a presentation then i'd probably just go for it but right now there's no way i can stand up and talk in front of a group for 10-15mins as well as doing an interview.

[standrums]

Hi gh05,

I'm really sorry to hear your are feeling so down about this.

Giving presentations and doing interviews are not nearly as scary as you think, it's just that we can get all worked up about things like getting embarrassed, stressed and saying the wrong thing (which you can't actually do in fact!

What is it that is worrying you?

Remember, the interviewers are just as nervous as the interviewees.

Just be yourself, show your personality and enthusiasm. Have a laugh, see it as a bit of fun and a learning experience. Forget about the outcome.

One thing, if you don't try you'll never overcome this irrational fear of interviews and presentations.

So, research your topic and get in there! Apply and do the interview - it will be fun to see what you know!

Best of luck and tell us how you get on.

[Jarrod]

In life there are certain obstacles within us that stop us from changing our lives (in your example, fear of this presentation).

If you don't overcome this fear your life will never change.

Yes you can avoid, but it will appear in a different form wherever you go.

As soon as you start working through it your life will start changing. Even if you fail to get through it to start with, little will start changing. Eventually you will get through and find a changed life.

Good luck and you can do it .

[lasti]

What do you really want?
Do you really want this new job?
So, why are you hesitating?

You're afraid?
Imagine how it would be to work another two years in your current job. Or twenty years. Isn't that a lot scarier?

[The Cloud]

Maybe, instead of getting all worked up about not being confident, you could work on your public speaking skills. That is at least something concrete you could do to help you out of your dead-end job.

[dancer]

Hi gh05,

Search on the web for interview questions and ask a friend to do a few rounds of mock interviews with you. You can work on this before you get the presentation topic. If you feel comfortable with the answers and the type of questions to expect it will help you get over nervousness on the day.

If they have called you for an interview then they are interested.

Good luck!

[Holistic Star]

I used to think that when you present you have to become this super exciting, amazingly charismatic personality and it would make me feel that I wasn't able to do it.

However, I learned by observing good speakers that if you are pretending to be someone you are not it shows! What makes a speaker good, is when they are simply having a conversation with the audience, they just happen to be standing up at the time.

You probably do that every day without realising it. How many times have you walked past someone's desk and they asked you a question and you answered it while they were sitting down and you were standing up. It's the same dynamic. They wanted to know something and you told them the answer. That's presenting! Change the way you think about presenting and you will find it easier.

When it comes to preparing your presentation you'll find that 10-15 minutes really isn't that long to say what you want to say. To keep it simply imagine you are presenting on 'splorks'.
Base your presentation answering questions on splorks that begin, who, what, why, when, how and who. Allow a couple of minutes per question and you are already at your time!

e.g.

What are splorks?
How do splorks work in theory and in practise?
Why are you interested in splorks?
Who is the leading authority on splorks and what does she or he think about them?
When were splorks first discovered?
Where can you find out more about splorks?
What are your personal recommendations about splorks for the company you are applying to?


If you really want this job, you'll find a way to get yourself up there. If you need speaking lessons you'll get them or get help any way you can, there will be someone you know who will help you prepare for the interview. I recommend a book called 'Great Answers to Tough Interview Questions. (sorry forgotten author, but is on amazon) that you can read so that you have mentally prepared outline answers to the most obvious interview questions.

And when I feel like curling up and hiding I remember this quote from Marianne Williamson "Your playing small doesn't serve the world". Marianne Williamson - Wikiquote

Good luck - and enjoy it!

[Jamesy]

Nice advice Holistic Star!

2 days to figure it out? That's all the time in the world, when you've got GoogleTM!

Simply type words relevant to the topic (you'll pick up more words as you're learning), make a quick slideshow in OpenOffice and voila! Job acquired.

Also, we believe in you, we know you can do it.

[sarahme]

hey,

why don't you attend some community college classes or tech school nightclasses to brush up on your computer skills? they're very affordable and you'll have a professor accessible to you for help. since you did a degree in computer science, i am sure you already have the basics down.

another idea is to buy a book on the areas you feel need improvement and to go forward from there. at least you'll feel like you're actively working on your situation and that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. you won't feel as frustrated if you're working towards a goal. and ultimately, the more skills you acquire, the more marketable you make yourself.

remember that you're the only one who can pull yourself out of a frustrating situation. best of luck.

[ThoughtAddict]

Do you think you can do the job you'd be applying for? You mentioned that your only concern is the interview. If that's the case, then you're holding yourself back out of fear. gh05, are you more afraid of giving a 15 minute presentation, or of spending more of your life in an unfulfilling, mind-numbing job? Look at the big picture. If you apply, and don't do well, it is over within a few minutes and you can look for other jobs. Not a big downside. The potential upside is a more fulfilling job, the potential to learn new skills (CS and otherwise), some excitement, and the pride of knowing that you overcame one of your personal challenges. You could make this a serious step toward a better life.

If you want a crash course on public speaking, you can get it from the forums here. You can start preparing those skills and do in-depth research when you find out your topic. You can do this if you want to.

Even if you choose not to go for the interview, don't spend any more time lowering your consciousness. Start developing yourself. You may find it is practical to continue your current job while you train yourself to do bigger, better things. That's fine. But please don't stick yourself in a life you don't want. There's a better world out there, waiting for you. Go get it.

[gh05]

Ok well i somehow managed to go to the interview and do the presentation. Have never been so nervous in my life but i did it. Feel good about doing it even though I'm almost certain not to get the job (someone who used to do the job is going for it and 9 people were interviewed).

So i half conquered my biggest fear. Now just need to get out of this awful job.

Thanks guys.

[ThoughtAddict]

Originally Posted by gh05

Ok well i somehow managed to go to the interview and do the presentation. Have never been so nervous in my life but i did it. Feel good about doing it even though I'm almost certain not to get the job (someone who used to do the job is going for it and 9 people were interviewed).

So i half conquered my biggest fear. Now just need to get out of this awful job.

Thanks guys.

CONGRATULATIONS!

It is no small achievement to overcome a major fear. Whether or not you get the job, I'm very happy for you.

[gh05]

Originally Posted by ThoughtAddict

CONGRATULATIONS!

It is no small achievement to overcome a major fear. Whether or not you get the job, I'm very happy for you.

Thanks.....turns out i got offered the job this morning. Bit shocked by it all really but happy!


Thanks for the advice from everyone here, it helped.

[ar81]

Depression comes when you think you can't control your life.
This idea of not being able to change your reality is an idea imposed by those who want to preserve power on you. It could be a relative, a boss, a manipulative friend, or a politician or someone else.

You ate that fairy tale, and therefore you feel depressed.
You feel that great people in history were not like you, so they can do things you can't.

I used to think like that.
But I got tired of that, for world was not letting me to live.
So if the house stinks, you need to clean.
In my path of cleaning the house to make it more livable, I met people you usualy would see on TV and I realized that they were normal humans, who treated me better than some bosses I have had. They are mystified by media, but they are guys next door.
I discovered that sometimes the barrier to change the world is some lazy bureaucrat, or some other element in the chain who will not be in history books.

I have met politicians, ministers, news reporters, ambassadors... and I am only a common guy who works in a cubicle... I have been on TV 3 times being interviewed after my social responsibility projects in my spare time. I have worked hard to fix my world, instead of feeling depressed.

So if I could do it, you can do it. I have nothing special. I am not better than you.

[FrancesL]

I read this thread earlier in the week and I'm so glad to come back and see your news. That's fantastic! Congratulations. And not only have you got the job, but you've got something to remember and remind yourself of next time you start thinking, 'I can't do this...'

[Gene]

Originally Posted by gh05

Thanks.....turns out i got offered the job this morning. Bit shocked by it all really but happy!

Thanks for the advice from everyone here, it helped.

Congratulations! May you enjoy your adventure in your new job.