how to pull yourself out of a bad mood

[TheFlyingMan]

In my quest for emotional mastery, I'm trying to get myself out of any lows. Most of my lows seem to stem from memories of my last girlfriend, even though its been a while now, and we don't keep in touch, she always seems to creep into my mind, and i either miss her or I start getting angry.

Recently I've been able to recognise myself in bad moods and try to pull myself out. But how? I've tried many things - affirmations, thinking of different things, etc. Sometimes it's hard to do as I'm in the middle of something else - a meeting, or driving, so I can't stop and control my emotions.

Does anyone have any tips for getting out of this? It seems I am in a spiral - all my knowledge and work on self improvement has gotten me into higher blissful states, and its like a spiral. When I'm blissful it only goes upwards, and when I'm upset it only goes downwards. Until something (don't know what) swings and i just swing to the other end.

Any advice? This is driving me nuts. It's been so long and I still can't get over her.

[smallstar]

I agree. Someone you really loved will not be forgotten easily.

My strategy for letting go of something is usually that I de-signify its meaning: focusing on the bad things so that I'll get to my distance and not to look back any more. After some time, I can start to glorify them once more, and at that point they become a source of inspiration rather than a source of grief.

[TheFlyingMan]

hmm thanks..am I bipolar? I feel lousy and good and lousy and good, sometimes within the space of an hour!

[ReallyGoodIdeas]

Nah - you're not bipolar, just getting over it! Hey another idea, plan yourself a happy scene, that you can use in these situations. You need to train yourself a bit, you need to practice the scene and couple of words to use to bring it on. A friend of mine has his spot on a beach with the coconut palms, and a nice drink in his hand. I can't remember what he calls it, but it has a name. When things get bad, you will know of your happy place and you can switch straight to it. The idea is to make it easy to switch. You could try that.

have fun
hazel

[stephencp]

You must stop fantasizing about the way you thought things were or the way you wished (and still apparantly wish) things to be with her. The reality is that you really are better off without her since you, she or you both decided to split (assuming she didn't die.) If it was primarily you deciding, then go back. If it was her (which seems more likely) then you must understand that she was not the person you thought and wished her to be. You are now fighting with yourself over this imaginary past. If she actually was the person you're "remembering" she probably wouldn't have broken up. She's not.
Of course the "just think of something else" advice is good too but doesn't get to the root of the problem.
You're not getting over "her", you're getting over yourself.

Stephen
Power-Book Library: Free personal development, success, inspiration and motivational classics
Personality and Growth Bookshelf

[TheColonel]

Be grateful that the wrong one got away.

Be thankful that the right one is now looking for you.

Listen to "Her Name Is" by George Jones.

[Lychee]

Originally Posted by TheColonel

Be grateful that the wrong one got away.

Be thankful that the right one is now looking for you.

Listen to "Her Name Is" by George Jones.

That's such a nice way of putting it!

[TheFlyingMan]

Good replies, thanks people.

[Liliane]

Be gentle on yourself, sometimes a low means it is time for yourself. When ever you feel low and short of energy, take the time off and go and lay under a tree and just lay there doing nothing, just being. contemplate the leaves and if your lucky there will be some cloud action for you to stare at. You have to care for yourself, nurture yourself, then you may not feel the loss as much.

Enjoy the journey as the road travels far and around the corner be fores you a new adventure. 'Rin 08'

[Jross22]

I really don't know the answer to this. I'd have to be better at this and dig into your specifics, I'm betting, to give a right answer.

So here's a stupid idea.

Try to enjoy the feeling.

You keep doing this, over and over. What purpose does this serve? Perhaps it brings you together. Perhaps there is some comfort in rage, or sadness. Feel the apparent feeling, whatever is there, as you go on about your life and do everything else that needs to be done. Perhaps as you attempt to appreciate it, to fully understand any value it brings, you will find it softens or even relents.

I wish you well.

[Alexjstrandberg]

With your ex-gf you will be in a bad mood until you learn the lessons from your relationship. Whether it was owning your strength, setting proper boundaries, maybe she cheated what ever it was you need to learn these lessons in order for the bad feelings to be released. The bad emotions anger, annoyance, sadness are there to remind us that what we needed to learn hasn't been learned.

You can avoid learning the lessons and move on but the lessons will still be there waiting for you. So your next girlfriend will be remarkably similar to your ex-gf because you didn't listen this time.

[distinctionsforlife]

Originally Posted by TheFlyingMan

Does anyone have any tips for getting out of this? It seems I am in a spiral - all my knowledge and work on self improvement has gotten me into higher blissful states, and its like a spiral.

Any advice? This is driving me nuts. It's been so long and I still can't get over her.

I just did three videos on controlling your emotions, so I won't write a long post, but you can user your body, your focus, and your beliefs to change the way you feel in a second. Focus seems to be what is making you feel down now.