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Emotional Mastery Emotional intelligence, addiction and recovery, grieving, loss, fear, anger, guilt, resentment, frustration, anxiety, depression, happiness, joy, love, kindness, forgiveness, self-acceptance, confidence, escaping the pit of despair, EFT


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Old 07-13-2008, 08:28 PM
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We've all heard advice along the lines of 'positive thinking brings positive results' and 'getting depressed leads to a vicious cycle of more depression'. But it seems to come back and trip everybody up anyway. I'm sure we've all been in a place where a bad day turned into a bad week turned into a bad year.

For the past year or so, I've really been expanding and thinking and growing a lot. Through Uni I was mostly drifting, and I sank down into quite an apathetic state where lots of things were put off. Since leaving, I've done about ten million things - more in this last year than in all the time before I think. I did have to go through a rough patch to get to all this positive stuff though.

In the last couple of months of Uni, the person I thought I loved rejected me, shattered my self-esteem. In addition, once leaving Uni I discovered my degree was basically worthless as a job-acquiring tool, and I was in major amounts of debt. I ended up in a call-center, doing one of the worst jobs known to man-kind: dealing with customer complaints.

During the six months I spent there, I spoke to more angry and sad people than I could ever have dreamed of. Sometimes it was justified, sometimes not. But the wake-up call came when someone phoned up to say what a nice driver (we delivered food to people) they had, and thanks for the great service.

For six months, a relentless parade of misery and anger. And just one two minute phone call changed my whole day. And it wasn't even a compliment for or about me, it was for the driver. But the woman's positive attitude made a huge impact. I'm pretty sure it made a difference to the driver too - and I'm pretty sure that every delivery she got after that was as good as that driver could make it.

Ranting, railing, getting worked up, throwing tantrums - it doesn't work. The worst callers got hung-up on, others were simply fobbed around in circles. One woman phoned up to complain about some extra money she had received accidentally through our loyalty program!

Anyway. That, plus a bunch of other coincidence, such as coming to this website, quitting my job, falling in love (for real), getting out of debt, moving out of a dark house into my own place, overhauling my diet- ya know, the usual! - has completely changed my life. I work a lot, but I'm progressing, and I enjoy what I do. I'm not rich yet, but I'm heading that way. I've more than quadrupled my hourly 'wage' by starting up my own business.

But more than that, I try and consistently give thanks. For homebaked cookies that are cooling right now for a husband that makes me tea when I come home from work, for every client that is willing to pay me to do what I enjoy doing, for the sun, for fresh air, for tree-top walks built by public-minded people, for the mass of choice I have for everything from what to eat to how to dress to where to live.

It IS the 'small' things that matter. Breathing, eating, living joyfully with love. One positive phone call to someone having a bad year can change their life. Positive energy brings positive feelings to the people around you. You can change the world by smiling, by paying a genuine compliment, by thanking people and rewarding them instead of dragging them down and criticizing them.

I still have bad days. I wake up, and I realize I forgot to set my alarm, that I've run out of tea, and that I'm late for work and it's raining. But instead of being angry about it, I take a deep breath, smile, and be glad of the refreshing walk I'm about to have. And the day gets better - and every good day is a step in making my life good too.
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Old 07-14-2008, 03:31 AM
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great stuff. Yeah people assume that it will be all uphill battles but there A LOT of tests to see if you will go backwards. Even if you do it's for a reason and always for the greater good.

I strongly believe that when you decide to finally do something about your life that it goes to hell for a period. The reason being that you are releasing all past pain and hurt from this life and your past lives. When you release it comes to the surface to be experienced all over before finally going away. It also serves as a test to see if you will repress it again or release and finally let go.
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Old 07-16-2008, 11:27 PM
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I agree. Whenever big changes have happened in my life, it always seems to have been accompanied by a whole bunch of 'stuff' that has dragged me away from what I thought of as my life.... but turned out to be incredibly relevant and in some cases quite a wake-up call.
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