am i a fool or paranoid?

[blondeDO12]

first off...MySpace is the devil! OK so I do not participate, but the rest of my world does. My BF and I have been together for 3 years and are in med school together so we spend ALOT of time together leaving very little for him to stray. However, people have clued me into his myspace account (on several occasions) and since I know it, I checked it out. He's been sending extremely inviting and inapporopriate messages to random females (who are way hotter than myself) in the area for a while now...despite his "devotion" and "love for me". Do i believe his BS that he does it for his friend to find "hot chicks", or is he just insulting my intelligence? I've brought this to his attention and told him that he makes me feel like a fool, but he always, and I mean always has an excuse. He seems to be able to back up everything with a story. And i keep buying into it. So, am I a fool or just plain paranoid?

[Sam988]

Your boyfriend may be a psychopath. Most people never believe that they know one because they think that all psychos are serial killers, but only a very small percentage of them really are.


Look at this website and see if your BF fits the profile. If he does, break with him before he manages to do it himself (and it WILL happen eventually, don't believe that you can change him) and leaves you completely broken.


Lovefraud Blog » Blog Archive » Why did I stay with the sociopath?


Lovefraud Blog » Blog Archive » The fantasy of magic moments with sociopaths





Or, of course, you may just be paranoid

[blondeDO12]

ya know its not the first time i've heard that, and for god sakes im in med school i have to take psychiatry. this isn't even the tip of the iceburg! the beginning of our relationship was ridiculous! I left my ex of 6 years for him! he was such the player but always knew EXACTLY what to say to keep me around. Now I do feel comfortable enough to say we're exclusive (like I go on family va-ca's, and sleep over every night and so forth), but I have this feeling. I NEED to nurture, and he eats that stuff up. Hmmm, you may have hit on something. I mean he turns everything around on me, i'm always apologizing and its always what he wants. When i speak my mind, he is annoyed and hangs up the phone, when he speaks god forbid i don't listen. thank you sam, you've given me somthing to think about...again!

[evelynlim]

You need to trust your instincts on this.

A relationship that has no trust can be quite difficult to sustain. Perhaps, you need to talk it over with him nicely, at an opportune time. Before approaching him, make sure that you are calm and collected and not seething in anger.

[Bndit]

Try asking him about this, bring up the topic Myspace time to time. If you really just want to get down to the point. Go out and tell him what you know about this Myspace.

[Gene]

Originally Posted by Bndit

Try asking him about this, bring up the topic Myspace time to time. If you really just want to get down to the point. Go out and tell him what you know about this Myspace.

IF you are in a true love relationship communication is important. If you bring the subject up with love you will get an answer with love from the universe even if the answer is he is not for you.

I am not saying that is the answer you will receive as you talk with him but it is an answer people often fear. Take a deep calming breath and take the action inside your self and outside in your relationship that will bring clarity and happiness to you in this relationship and in your life.

[DayInTheLife]

Originally Posted by blondeDO12

I mean he turns everything around on me, i'm always apologizing and its always what he wants. When i speak my mind, he is annoyed and hangs up the phone, when he speaks god forbid i don't listen.

This relationship is doomed. Get out now. You can do better.

[niche]

You should definitely try talking to him about things. First before you do this though, has he ever been violent toward you? If so, forget about talking and just end the relationship. If he has not, take the time to talk. A true sociopath will avert the conversation. You will know what he is doing. Listen to your true feelings like what others have said. I believe my ex was a sociopath. What you have said so far sounds a lot like him. If this is the case, not saying that it is, it will only escalate and put you in danger.

[Sam988]

Originally Posted by niche

take the time to talk. A true sociopath will avert the conversation. You will know what he is doing.

Hah a sociopath, if he wants to keep this relationship (be it just for his own fun), will not avoid the conversation, in fact he will manipulate it, make an act showing "his feelings", and saying how much he wants the relationship to work, and just get her more deeply into his net.

Originally Posted by niche

Listen to your true feelings like what others have said.

Realying on "the feelings" is what makes people fall so deeply for psychopaths, they are masters at playing with people's feelings, making them ignore the clues, the "red flags", in the psychos behariors.

[blondeDO12]

So, he acts like all is ok and last night kept telling me that I am acting a little "crazy" because I was seriously explaining in a calm manner that his behavior lately was less than great. It was unbelievable because at the end i was completely wrapped up in him...again. After work today I can see clearly what i am doing and what HE is doing to me. I do love him, like we're planning on getting married, but now i'm FREAKING out. Oh by the way, NO, he has never been violent and we have been in some pretty heated arguements but never layed a hand on me! So, hmmm, what to do...

[darthangel]

Well, since both of you are medical students and the likelihood that you will graduate from med school is 94%, I would say that he is fixing to marry you and play around with other girls on the side.

This is very natural thing amongst men since they are programmed to want a little more on the side so that alone does not make him a psychopath. Even if you confront him, he'll probably still cheat later in the future.

At least you have his heart, and in his head he is thinking that marrying you is the best since you are also a med student who both understand each other.

[Jamesy]

I'd say trust your instincts and break up with him, because you don't seem satisfied with your answers and you're going to feel like a fool until you do, or until you leave.