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carjack · 07-03-2008, 08:17 PM

hey...
i have a dilemma where im on different ends of a similar situation

situation 1: 2 good friends have fought...and they have ended their friendship, as an outside person to their fight, they shared with me both sides of the story. i am close to both of them. and have conitnued to be friends with both, but dont share much information about the other

situation 2: I and a friend have fought, and now we no longer are friends. another friend who is close to both sides, has decided to continue being friends with both sides

situation 3: the same as situation 2, but the mutual friend didnt like the other friend, and we have talked about why each other doesnt like the other friend and then suddenly one day patches up with the friend and now they r good friends again

situation 4: the same as situation 2, but the mutual friend is friends with both sides, but chooses to hang out more often with one side

now the dilemmas are...
situation 1 do i have to pick a friend? or how can i ensure that my friendship with both of them doesnt bother either of them?

situation 2: what kind of a relationship should i expect with the mutual friend now, and what can i or cant i share with them? or i guess what should i be cautious about?

situation 3: how should i deal with the mutual friend, when a part of me feels confused about what happened, again how do i maintain a good friendship? should it bother me that the friend suddenly started being friends again? how close of a friendship can i maintain?

situation 4: how should i react to it?

i know it sounds like a soap opera... but unfortunately i have found myself in a difficult position where i feel conflicted about this...
and i was hoping for some alternate views to the whole thing

i can explain further or clear up any questions anyone might have...
(i hope i havent been too confusing)

thanks!!!!!!

carjack · 07-03-2008, 08:20 PM

situation 2, is actually really complicated and tried my best to keep it simple...

involves alot of people as well as work and alot of different angles to it..

Lauxa · 07-04-2008, 03:16 PM

Have you ever read anything about triangle relationships? It sound like that's the general flavor here. Here's a link you may find interesting:

Georgetown Family Center -- Bowen Theory

In general, you should be very careful about saying anything negative about anyone to anybody else. Although this is not something I am very good at.

07-03-2008, 08:17 PM	#1 (permalink)
carjack Junior Member Join Date: Jul 2008 Posts: 7	ending or maintaining friendships hey... i have a dilemma where im on different ends of a similar situation situation 1: 2 good friends have fought...and they have ended their friendship, as an outside person to their fight, they shared with me both sides of the story. i am close to both of them. and have conitnued to be friends with both, but dont share much information about the other situation 2: I and a friend have fought, and now we no longer are friends. another friend who is close to both sides, has decided to continue being friends with both sides situation 3: the same as situation 2, but the mutual friend didnt like the other friend, and we have talked about why each other doesnt like the other friend and then suddenly one day patches up with the friend and now they r good friends again situation 4: the same as situation 2, but the mutual friend is friends with both sides, but chooses to hang out more often with one side now the dilemmas are... situation 1 do i have to pick a friend? or how can i ensure that my friendship with both of them doesnt bother either of them? situation 2: what kind of a relationship should i expect with the mutual friend now, and what can i or cant i share with them? or i guess what should i be cautious about? situation 3: how should i deal with the mutual friend, when a part of me feels confused about what happened, again how do i maintain a good friendship? should it bother me that the friend suddenly started being friends again? how close of a friendship can i maintain? situation 4: how should i react to it? i know it sounds like a soap opera... but unfortunately i have found myself in a difficult position where i feel conflicted about this... and i was hoping for some alternate views to the whole thing i can explain further or clear up any questions anyone might have... (i hope i havent been too confusing) thanks!!!!!!

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07-03-2008, 08:20 PM	#2 (permalink)
carjack Junior Member Join Date: Jul 2008 Posts: 7	situation 2, is actually really complicated and tried my best to keep it simple... involves alot of people as well as work and alot of different angles to it..

07-04-2008, 03:16 PM	#3 (permalink)
Lauxa Family Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Posts: 2,545	Have you ever read anything about triangle relationships? It sound like that's the general flavor here. Here's a link you may find interesting: Georgetown Family Center -- Bowen Theory In general, you should be very careful about saying anything negative about anyone to anybody else. Although this is not something I am very good at.

Personal Development for Smart PeopleTM Forums

Personal Development for Smart People^TM Forums