Why do I seek attention to feel good about myself?

[younglady49]

I am 52 years old. I have always been an introvert. I have a few close friends.
I am a middle child, if that means anything. I have ADD which I am on medication for. My father drank during my childhood, again if that means anything.

For some reason, I am always looking for recognition for something that I have done. I don't put myself out there to get attention, but when I do something that I never thought I could do, I want others to know. I need to be noticed and listened to. But yet, I don't want to be bothered with people.

Any suggestions?

[dulaney0330]

Hi! Welcome to the forum.

First off, it is normal to want recognition and attention from others. Obviously, individuals with low self-esteem may need more because they need to feel validated, but probably every person on the face of this planet enjoys being recognized for their accomplishments. It is also true that human beings want to be noticed and listened to.

The question is: is your self-esteem dependent upon those things? Are you unhappy when you are NOT being recognized or given attention? Is your primary motive for accomplishments just for someone's approval and attention, instead of personal growth and satisfaction?

Hope to hear from you!

[younglady49]

I am fine when I am alone. Actually, I love being alone. I have always been a loner for most of my life. I do have several close friends. It just seems like I need this attention from strangers to feel good about myself, which I know is wrong.

Maybe because I have always been a loner, not much attention was paid to me. So now I seek it out in different ways, thinking this is what I need to draw attention to myself. I seek attention out not in a sexual way or anything like that. Maybe people calling me once in a while. Yet I don't extend myself to get to know people. I just don't want to be bothered. Confusing, I am sure.

[Alexjstrandberg]

Originally Posted by younglady49

I am 52 years old. I have always been an introvert. I have a few close friends.
I am a middle child, if that means anything. I have ADD which I am on medication for. My father drank during my childhood, again if that means anything.

For some reason, I am always looking for recognition for something that I have done. I don't put myself out there to get attention, but when I do something that I never thought I could do, I want others to know. I need to be noticed and listened to. But yet, I don't want to be bothered with people.

Any suggestions?

Feel like you are not enough and need to validate yourself through external sources-it's an ego thing. You mentioned that your father was an alcoholic which contributes a lot of pain. Pain is how the ego gets fed and grows and as a result you have developed a good sized ego.

The ego is never satisfied and always want external love, attention etc. Nothing wrong with those things except when you feel like you need them.

Say these affirmations any time you strongly desire for people to notice you.

"I am enough" Meaning you are complete by yourself without needing anything to feel complete.

'I trust the universe to supply my abundance and prosperity"

"I accept change and freely let go of what is no longer needed"

hope this helps

[Jarrod]

Originally Posted by Alexjstrandberg

The ego is never satisfied and always want external love, attention etc.

Yep

Whenever you notice the desire (in your thoughts or your emotions) just keep letting go of it.

Also try this for a change in tack, pay attention to what other people do and let them know you value it. You tend to get what you give.