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| Emotional Mastery Emotional intelligence, addiction and recovery, grieving, loss, fear, anger, guilt, resentment, frustration, anxiety, depression, happiness, joy, love, kindness, forgiveness, self-acceptance, confidence, escaping the pit of despair, EFT |
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| | #1 (permalink) |
| Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 152
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I have horrible OCD. It's "magical thinking". It's never-ending. It happens at the most random moment all the time especially when I'm under stress. It's my brain's way of tricking itself into believing that if I go up and down the stairs 3 times, everything will go great with a love interest. It's very hard resisting it because it's very subtle and I'm so used to obeying it. I also get scared that something will go wrong if I don't listen to it. People think I'm crazy... I try to explain to them it's not a voice in my head telling me to do these things, it's simply a thought or a feeling. It's completely supersticious. It's just all the time and it's getting ridiculous. I've been on multiple different anxiety medications before I even had OCD and they were not very helpful with my anxiety in the long-run. I feel hopeless sometimes because I read somewhere that OCD can never be completely gone. It's always gonna be there, on some kind of level. I think I'm such a control freak that this is my way of tricking myself into thinking I always have control over everything. It really is getting too ridiculous to the point where I can barely function. I have tons of bad luck and good luck supersticions such as numbers. In my head good numbers are these: 3 7 12 16 26 and the bad luck number is 13. So Imagine looking at the clock and freaking out seeing the number 13 when you're about to go out on a date or something... very stressful. My life revolves around these numbers. It's not just numbers though. Sometimes I'll just get the feeling to switch computer windows or something bad will happen. And I just realized that I always have 3 windows open on the computer... it's becoming something I do almost unconsciously. I'm 16, I should be living life not obsessing over numbers on the clock or how many times I have to flip the light switch off and on. This is all the time... I'm really losing it I feel like. Can someone please help me? Thanks. |
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| | #2 (permalink) |
| Love in Action (Mod) Join Date: May 2008 Location: Ohio
Posts: 2,527
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I sort of know where you are coming from. I have a mild form of some of this, but luckily it doesn't hinder me at all, it is just really annoying. I'll have to move things in such a way or, well there are a lot of examples. I don't know what to tell you, because I've never been able to resolve my own. It's like a build-up of anxiety if you don't do it, and an irrational fear that something will go wrong if you don't do it. The one thing I've tried is just demand myself to stop doing one certain thing, and be completely conscious of it. It's really tough, though. Have you seen someone about the OCD in particular? If it is very bad, it will probably not be possible to just stop on your own. |
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| | #3 (permalink) |
| Senior Member Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 300
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You hit the nail on the head when you said "I am a control freak" OCD comes from the inability to control ones life and paranoia about fearful things. You fear bad things happening and a way to distract yourself from the world is by focusing on things you can control like the number of times you flip the switch on or how many times you wash your hands. It's all based in fear and the only way around a fear is through it. Instead of focusing on getting rid of the OCD focus on figuring out your fears and doing them. I'm not suggesting going out to pick fights with someone who could eat you alive but something practical that scars the hell out of you. So if you are terrified of talking to girls (seems to be a big one for most guys) then make a choice to not make any excuses and just push through that fear. Pick a new fear every day for a month and just do them. If you fear what other people think of you, go to a busy mall in a dress. |
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| | #4 (permalink) |
| Family Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Murfreesboro, TN
Posts: 1,155
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I have basically the same problems, but instead of counting, I do symmetry-related things (mental 'tracing), doing certain chores over and over, and drinking inordinate amounts of coffee even though I'm not in school and have no real responsibilities. When I was younger and extremely religious, I would repeat prayers, and I still repeat certain words internally after speaking them. I can't give any recovery tips, because I'm still kind of in its clutches, but there are books on OCD that you can read yourself, and articles online you could give to others who are not sympathetic. |
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| | #5 (permalink) |
| Junior Member Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 18
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I am pretty certain I have a mild form of OCD, had it since i was very young. Personally, I believe that my mother triggered a lot of it early on by obsessing about mundane things. Hence, I do it too. Now, my 'OCD' goes away and comes back in long term cycles. Sometimes i won't think about it, other times i will go crazy sorting thoughts out in my mind for hours. I obsess over losing money (parking tickets, locking doors, leaving change around etc.) I check my damn car like 3 times at night before I am comfortable enough to go to bed. I also obsess over health issues, like if I should eat that hot dog since I only washed my hand five times... From my experiences, Alex has it nailed on the metaphorical head. The times when these 'OCD' annoying fears go away, i am in a blissful era of NOT CARING about any of these things. Its usually a time when my life is really going well and i have good social relationships. When a situation comes up and you have to walk up and down the stairs for whatever reason, just forget it and go to your destination. Enjoy your life. Look around and make jokes, socialize. I can remember one time clearly, I was at a party and my hands hadn't been washed in about 4 hours and i was about to dig in on a sandwich and chips, since i was enjoying myself in the moment I was concious of the fact I hadn't washed my hands, but just didnt care because I was talking to people and having fun. I knew the possibility of getting sick from nasty bacterias, but just took it because you only live once and whats the chances id get sick anyway? That was the mentality i had at that moment. Good luck brother, hope i helped in some way. I think reading what i just wrote will help me too =D |
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| | #7 (permalink) |
| Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: United States
Posts: 260
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and ask for a referral to a licensed Psychiatrist with a good rep. Because I firmly believe in therapy in combination with the right anti-depressant. For example, Prozac combined with close supervision of your doctor will knock that OCD out of the park. I'm not sure why people suffer needlessly with it when the SSRI's seem to have, in my humble opinion, really work for whatever reasons. (Not to be substituted for your Doctor's advice) |
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| | #8 (permalink) |
| Family Member Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 2,203
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Is the fear from the OCD really yours, or is it just something that happens to you? If it's just something that happens to you, that you have no control over, then you can just feel it like you'd feel something externally. Instead of thinking "I am afraid," you can think "there is fear happening to me." The fear isn't a part of you, it is just a thing happening to you that you can choose whether or not to react to. You don't have to ignore it, you can simply dismiss it. You don't ignore the feeling of your clothes against you, you simply don't think about it all the time. The same thing with fear.
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