Gratitude versus complacency?

[sarahsarahsarah11]

So.. Could someone tell me the difference between gratitude and complacency? I have a fear of being too grateful because I'm afraid I'll stay in a situation that is bad for me and let myself get taken advantage of if I practice gratitude, I'm afraid I'll become complacent. What's the difference between the two?

[Jarrod]

Gratitude - Thankful for something
Complacency - Satisfied with yourself or something

What do you mean when you say 'practice gratitude'?

[Angela]

Gratitude is like acceptance mixed with joy. You are accepting reality without judgement, and at the same time, brimming with joy that you are here, accepting reality without judgement. Gratitude is saying "Yes!" to the moment. You can be grateful even in moments when you are uncomfortable or even in pain. You can be accepting and joyful even during moments when you would prefer to change your circumstances. It's a feel-good emotion.

Complacency, the way I think you mean it, rather than the dictionary definition Jarrod has used, is not acceptance -- it's resistance mixed with resignation, a recipe for feeling bad.

Two entirely different animals.

[niche]

[quote=Two entirely different animals.[/QUOTE]

I have to agree with Angela. Being complacent means that you're putting up with something you shouldn't have to put up with and not doing anything about it.

Myself, I am a highly grateful person for all the beautiful and wonderful things in my life, but I am certainly not complacent. If I see something in my life that needs fixed, I fix it.

Thank you for the word though. I'm doing a psychology project on drug and alcohol abuse and anti social behavior in adolescence. The word complacent will fit nicely into my project. THANKS!

[Digit]

Originally Posted by sarahsarahsarah11

So.. Could someone tell me the difference between gratitude and complacency? I have a fear of being too grateful because I'm afraid I'll stay in a situation that is bad for me and let myself get taken advantage of if I practice gratitude, I'm afraid I'll become complacent. What's the difference between the two?

i'd be grateful for the opportunity of change. not for just what is, but for it's transient nature, and for the vast open potential of what could be.

i'd be grateful for being able to know the word/concept of complacency so i can recognise it.

even the "bad" situation offers oppertunity for growth. there's nothing to really fear being grateful of it. though, it would be a bit silly if you were being punched in the face and had grattitude for that, rather than grattitude for the lessons available to you at the time, whatever they may be, be it gaining experience to sympathise with other people who have been punched in face, or the oppertunity to defend yourself, or the oppertunity to do a gandhi and teach them how violence is weak. or being grateful for things more tangibly worth being grateful for... like at least i'm not being kicked in the balls, at least i'm alive, grateful that it's a beautiful sunny day, at least i'm not this ******* who goes around punching people in the face... hehe, and so on.

(a rather rushed analogy, i hope it conveyed the message ok.)

[wolfgang]

What I wonder is how being grateful about something you want to change actually helps change it. Like if you are complacent you won't change the situation. OR if you don't have a grateful attitude you are actually perpetuating the very situation some how. Like if you fully accept and are grateful, supposedly that help bring about change. sorry if I'm hi-jacking the thread.

[Angela]

Originally Posted by wolfgang

What I wonder is how being grateful about something you want to change actually helps change it.

Well, you're not limited to being grateful about the specific thing you want to change. It all comes back to 100% responsibility -- it always does with me, doesn't it? -- that is, boldly looking at who you're being that the world occurs for you as it does.

Do you have a specific example in mind of something you'd like to change? Let's say you are in a relationship and your partner has lied to you and you are in pain about that lie. It would be pretty goofy to be grateful to your partner for lying to you, right? Let's say you want to improve your gratitude skill anyway. What is there to be grateful for? Maybe:

a) You knew deep in your heart that this was the wrong relationship for you, but you were in denial or reluctant to be alone, so you stayed. The lie was a perfect "gift" to illustrate for you -- to condense and present -- exactly why you need to say goodbye with love: you value honesty and she doesn't so much. You were dragging your feet, and now you are more easily able to generate freedom for yourself and for her. Or...

b) Looking boldly, you can see that she lied to you because you had actually been generating no freedom in the relationship. She had been walking on eggshells avoiding telling you the truth because you have a hair-trigger temper or you have not been accepting of some aspect of her. Now that you see this previously unseen thing about yourself, you can either let her go with love, as in a) above, or you can choose to clean things up with her. Or....

c) Your hurt around the situation represents a long-standing button-pushing issue in your life, and this relationship gives you a perfect way to work that issue out for yourself -- to delve deep, confront old pain, and work it out once and for all with someone you love. Your relationship becomes deeper and more loving as a result. Or......

I could go on and on. There are so many possibilities for gratitude in things you want to change, maybe even more than in things you're content about. One of the things I'm most grateful for in things I prefer to change: Inspired Action. I love inspired action!

If you look boldly and courageously enough, you might even be able to generate gratitude for the originating event: You could actually be grateful that she lied to you. Funny, huh?

[wolfgang]

Originally Posted by Angela

Well, you're not limited to being grateful about the specific thing you want to change. It all comes back to 100% responsibility -- it always does with me, doesn't it? -- that is, boldly looking at who you're being that the world occurs for you as it does.

Do you have a specific example in mind of something you'd like to change? Let's say you are in a relationship and your partner has lied to you and you are in pain about that lie. It would be pretty goofy to be grateful to your partner for lying to you, right? Let's say you want to improve your gratitude skill anyway. What is there to be grateful for?
...
I could go on and on. There are so many possibilities for gratitude in things you want to change, maybe even more than in things you're content about. One of the things I'm most grateful for in things I prefer to change: Inspired Action. I love inspired action!

If you look boldly and courageously enough, you might even be able to generate gratitude for the originating event: You could actually be grateful that she lied to you. Funny, huh?

Well, not that she lied. But I kind of am. It's a story and I'm not the story, right? Was partially tempted to air dirty laundry and let some skeletons out of the closet. But I'll keep them in there, with my dirty laundry.

But on the ideas. Accepting seems to be part of moving on or figuring out stay or go situation in relationships. Then I suppose gratitude is what happens when you accept, like you say with responsibility. I see my complacency to just let it ride and not sure what I'm left with in this relationship because I don't really put into it. Maybe I use complacency as my choice - so I have to live what ever that brings (acceptance?) with my skeletons and dirty laundry in the closet. Then where to put being grateful. Maybe that comes later if I change.

sorry - feeling like I hijacked the thread.

[Jarrod]

Evidently people are not complacent with the dictionary definition of complacency.

So I guess that if you are complacent with something and then propose a way to improve it is an invalid statement.