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Emotional Mastery Emotional intelligence, addiction and recovery, grieving, loss, fear, anger, guilt, resentment, frustration, anxiety, depression, happiness, joy, love, kindness, forgiveness, self-acceptance, confidence, escaping the pit of despair, EFT


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Old 06-20-2008, 07:13 PM
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Default Lost my job

I was dumped a few months ago, but I took it pretty good and I kept a positive attitude, went on. Right before I was fired I was thinking that I went through that crisis pretty quickly and came out better than came in. Then 2 days ago i got fired. I am really tired of fighting and fighting and fighting through things. I am thinking that maybe I am on a wrong path that I keep failing and failing. Everything keeps crumbling down around me. I mean, I know, this could be the next best thing and all... look at it from the positive side yada yada. But am I doing something wrong that things just keep falling apart? Should I just move somewhere else... like go back home and give all of this up? I am so tired, I just want to lie down and never get up again. I've been thinking that I could start my own business, but I am so down that I doubt I have enough strength to even think about it. I know this is the darkest moment before the sun rises again, but man is it dark right now. I hope it is going to get lighter very soon.

I'd appreciate it if someone could share a success story with me for some inspiration and motivation to go on. I am running very low right now.
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Old 06-20-2008, 08:24 PM
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Hi. I am just writing to offer you some support in your present situation. I am in a similar position in that I got sacked as well and I know it can be really tough so I have an idea what you are going through. But hey we are not living in a bomb torn environment. We have food in the fridge....some! and we are alive, intelligent,got a sense of humour, sunshine. In fact we have a whole lot. Try gratitude for whats good and try acceptance of present circumstances. Also help someone out. Theres plenty more to life than being in situations where we are not wanted. that usually really translates into situations we actually dont really want to be in. Gratitude is the very best cure. Why just be thankfull when things are going right? I am with you on this I promise. I wish you JOY. I see a light at the end of the tunnel and so far as I know its not another train!!!! keep your chin up. I have taken to a daily routine of physical and spiritual practices. Some days are fantastic others are a struggle but my aim is to be the best I can be and life seems to be telling me youve got to take the good with the bad. Failure is important. Probably at this point in your life and mine the most important. Its either that or the old self pity routine which only knocks us out and feeds on what little energy we have left. Dont know if you despise me already but I am honestly only trying to help a comrade in arms. I bow to the God within you.
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Old 06-20-2008, 09:06 PM
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I don't despise you at all. And thanks for the reminder about gratitude, I think I might have forgotten all about it in the middle of all that's going on. I am really not as depressive as I sound in the post, just right now it is really rough... my situation is a bit complex, finding another job is going to be very difficult. I am worried about my future more than anything else. Again, thanks for the support, it means a ton to me. And for you, the same, I hope you are alright. I am with you comrade, too. Much love.
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Old 06-20-2008, 09:38 PM
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Thats good for me too. As to my getting another job...not so easy either so what I am doing is looking at what I really want in my life and manifesting for it and what I really want is really BIG but I dont actually want a job so theres no point in asking for one. I am going to give this time, apply patience, take the good with the bad. I am actually starting to want a compassionate heart more than anything as a direct result of all this manifesting so the Universe is responding by offering me the deal from the inside out it would appear. I am not complaining because to achieve the life of my dreams I can see that a compassionate heart would be the very first ingredient necessary to make my vision a reality. Gratitude for the misery is part of the deal too. We are like little chicks in an egg,after failure ...but my o my what a loverlee egg. Honest. If my heart can turn comopassionate then absolutely nothing else is impossible to the Universe.Believe me... Enjoy the trip... I am indeed your comrade. Lets GO FOR IT. What seems but dark is only really limited vision. It is in fact too bright for us to see. I am with you and I am so glad you are with me. It can feel mighty lonesome in a wee dark eggshell. Again, NAMASTE.
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Old 06-21-2008, 01:23 AM
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I'm not sure this helps but maybe you can gain some inspiration from it. When I lost a job in the past I got really down on myself and things seemed hopeless and impossible. Just the other day (I'm currently employed, not trying to rub it in) I was thinking that I could go get another job if I wanted and that I have options now. It seemed very clear cut and easy. Where was that mindset when I needed a job?? Maybe I'll resort back to the same hopeless mindset if I get fired. Who knows. But at least I'll be aware that there's a better way to think. Hopefully that helps & good luck.
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Old 06-21-2008, 07:51 AM
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Just remember that you can always stop worrying about the future by focusing on the present. Then once you fully accept and stop fighting the present you can redirect your mind to more positive pursuits, such as gratitude or "imagining your blessings" as Steve described in a recent blog post. It is very hard to redirect your mind to gratitude when you are caught in worry thoughts so it can be useful to move to awareness of the present and a still mind before trying to move to these more positive thought patterns.
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Old 06-21-2008, 08:43 PM
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Here's my story: I have always worked since I was fifteen, sometimes 2 jobs and once even 3 jobs. After traveling down a path of self-development, I decided I wanted to become a Hypnotherapist. I quit my job and took the Certification training. This was the first time I hadn't worked since I was a teenager. It felt very strange.

I decided I should get a part-time job until I built up my own practice. I never had trouble finding a job in my life. Jobs always seemed to find me. I tried for a few months, applying for many jobs that I was well-qualified for. No one hired me. At that point I was feeling pretty down and wondering what my problem was. I did some reflection and realized that I didn't want to work a part-time job, I just felt that I should. What I really wanted was to have a thriving hypnotherapy/reiki practice but I didn't feel confident in putting myself out there. So I decided to use all the energy I had put into searching for a part-time job into promoting my own practice. It worked!

Even better is that it was fun to put all my energy into what I wanted. It didn't feel like work. If I had gotten a part-time job, I never would've been able to dedicate so much time to building my practice.

The same thing goes for relationships. Some people don't want to let go of one until the next one arrives. But we often have to let go of what isn't working, what we don't want, to make space for what we do want to arrive. So perhaps you can think of this time as a clearing out time, making space in your life for things that will bring you more joy and contentment.

Right now you are in what is known as The Void. It's the place where everything is possible and yet nothing has materialized yet, so it can be scary and exciting at the same time. It's like you have stepped one foot off a ledge and can't see where it's going to land. It requires a lot of faith and trust in yourself and the ability to be in the moment.

Gratitude, as others mentioned, in addition to focusing on what you want and making steps toward your dreams will create a positive energy and draw to you the life you want. Good luck~
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Old 06-23-2008, 07:34 PM
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Originally Posted by dali View Post
I am indeed your comrade. Lets GO FOR IT. What seems but dark is only really limited vision. It is in fact too bright for us to see. I am with you and I am so glad you are with me. It can feel mighty lonesome in a wee dark eggshell. Again, NAMASTE.
Thanks so much for your response, I wish you luck and I hope I will get to talk to you again. I am doing much much better, that was just one day that I needed to have to confront my feelings and doubts. Hope you are well and happy and that your dreams are becoming reality. Much love.
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Old 06-23-2008, 07:45 PM
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Originally Posted by 25AndJustBeginning View Post
I'm not sure this helps but maybe you can gain some inspiration from it. When I lost a job in the past I got really down on myself and things seemed hopeless and impossible. Just the other day (I'm currently employed, not trying to rub it in) I was thinking that I could go get another job if I wanted and that I have options now. It seemed very clear cut and easy. Where was that mindset when I needed a job?? Maybe I'll resort back to the same hopeless mindset if I get fired. Who knows. But at least I'll be aware that there's a better way to think. Hopefully that helps & good luck.
Everything is in our heads, that's the thing. If one can see past all the swirling thoughts, then things really take a whole different form... everything's in our hands.
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Old 06-23-2008, 07:50 PM
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Originally Posted by Lauxa View Post
Just remember that you can always stop worrying about the future by focusing on the present. Then once you fully accept and stop fighting the present you can redirect your mind to more positive pursuits, such as gratitude or "imagining your blessings" as Steve described in a recent blog post. It is very hard to redirect your mind to gratitude when you are caught in worry thoughts so it can be useful to move to awareness of the present and a still mind before trying to move to these more positive thought patterns.
I just needed one small tiny spark of light in order to get out of all that darkness, and the spark was gratitude. I was reminded that I could still use it, no matter how bad things got. Thanks for your awesome post, it reminded me of the present. That's what I love about this site, I can always count on positive feedback, no matter what.
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Old 06-23-2008, 08:09 PM
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Originally Posted by awakentransform View Post
I did some reflection and realized that I didn't want to work a part-time job, I just felt that I should. ...

The same thing goes for relationships. Some people don't want to let go of one until the next one arrives. But we often have to let go of what isn't working, what we don't want, to make space for what we do want to arrive. So perhaps you can think of this time as a clearing out time, making space in your life for things that will bring you more joy and contentment.
oh wow, that's a great response. Thanks so much. That's actually what happened to me I think. For a while at my job, I felt like I didn't even want to be there anymore. I used to be excited about it, but I think I was starting to slowly realize that I was done with the place anyway. Of course it would have been much better to have left on my own terms, but oh well, can't change that now. I knew what I wanted to do, but was too scared/insecure/you-name-it to actually go ahead with it. Few days ago I made a small step towards the goal and I already see the results. It is quite inspiring and reassures me that I am on the right path. So cheers.

Funny enough you mentioned relationships, your response just seems to fit right into my life. As I mentioned, I was dumped by someone a little while ago, but now looking at my life, it is so much better than when he was around, that I am actually pretty happy that he dumped me, I don't know if I would have met all of these people if he was still around. I have so many new wonderful friends that it makes my head spin. Never thought I could be so happy without him.

Thanks again for the great comment :-) I really appreciate it.
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Old 06-23-2008, 08:32 PM
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Smile comrade!

It has been my turn to have things tough for the past few days but just as you did, I let myself feel the problems and magically the feelings have passed like the clouds do. The problems are still around but I know I have the power to see them off. I am practicing being greatful for the miracles that are to come. "This too shall pass." has been a handy motto !I am really glad to hear you sounding so much happier. I suppose we would not know the joy without the problems. It makes one greatfull even for them. Its all so painful and so wonderful at the same time isnt it although the pain can be so hard to live with. However life is for learning and we are tightening our bow...soon there will be more harmony in the orchestra!!!....I hope. Keep up the good work, Enrim and know...You are not alone. We have friends by our sides. I count you one even although I dont know you, and for that..for you , I am so greatfull.
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Old 06-24-2008, 06:29 PM
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It has been my turn to have things tough for the past few days but just as you did, I let myself feel the problems and magically the feelings have passed like the clouds do. The problems are still around but I know I have the power to see them off. I am practicing being greatful for the miracles that are to come. "This too shall pass." has been a handy motto !I am really glad to hear you sounding so much happier. I suppose we would not know the joy without the problems. It makes one greatfull even for them. Its all so painful and so wonderful at the same time isnt it although the pain can be so hard to live with. However life is for learning and we are tightening our bow...soon there will be more harmony in the orchestra!!!....I hope. Keep up the good work, Enrim and know...You are not alone. We have friends by our sides. I count you one even although I dont know you, and for that..for you , I am so greatfull.
hey, you know you have my support. Indeed, "this too shall pass" is a good way of going about it. Feel your feelings, make sure you are somewhere safe when you are doing it, make sure you have the right people around you, who would support you rather than judge you... once you confront your feelings they will go away and you will be free to take whatever action you need to take It's all a part of life, the good and the bad, acceptance is the key. I am writing this for both of us, you and me. And i am starting to rhyme Much much love, everything's gonna be okay. Feel free to PM me anytime.
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Old 06-24-2008, 09:24 PM
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Life is full of possibilities. Everybody has good points and bad points, so maybe you sucked at the job, so you got fired. Another possibility is they were a bunch of ******** and didn't like you so fired you. Either way, if you sucked at the job then you may be better at another job around the corner, and it might turn out being the best thing that ever happened to you. As well, if they were ******** you were working for, you might end up working with cooler and nicer people in your next job. I don't know your situation too well, but don't take the loss of the job too personally, because life is full of possibilities and in a years time you might thank god you got fired. I got fired from a pub job once, and looking back, I'm really glad I got fired, because it was a bad environment for me, and I'm glad to be working in my current job, which, if I hadn't been fired, I might not get to.. I hope this post was helpful
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Old 06-24-2008, 10:44 PM
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Life is full of possibilities. Everybody has good points and bad points, so maybe you sucked at the job, so you got fired. Another possibility is they were a bunch of ******** and didn't like you so fired you. Either way, if you sucked at the job then you may be better at another job around the corner, and it might turn out being the best thing that ever happened to you. As well, if they were ******** you were working for, you might end up working with cooler and nicer people in your next job. I don't know your situation too well, but don't take the loss of the job too personally, because life is full of possibilities and in a years time you might thank god you got fired. I got fired from a pub job once, and looking back, I'm really glad I got fired, because it was a bad environment for me, and I'm glad to be working in my current job, which, if I hadn't been fired, I might not get to.. I hope this post was helpful
Thanks for the post. Nobody sucked - neither me, nor them. When I was let go, I was told that it wasn't due to my performance... even if they didn't tell me, I know that I love my job and I am good at it. Nor was it their fault. I am actually still in a good relationship with the boss and hope to stay that way. The company is downsizing... and, also, my own conclusion, is that the company is changing the direction, where my position is not needed anymore. Doesn't mean that anybody is a ********. Thanks for your support though, and I hope you enjoy your current job And you are totally right about possibilities.
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Old 06-25-2008, 01:11 AM
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Been there myself. There now, really. I lost my job almost a year ago and will never be able to go back to the work I have always done because of my health. I really can't even go shopping anymore without a lot of pain. It may sound silly but I spent a lot of time being sad that I would never be able to run again if I needed to and I never even cared about running before.

I can tell you what has helped me in the past few months. I have found that it's important at a time of uncertainty like this to stay in the present moment as much as possible in your thoughts. Try to enjoy where you are today, in this very moment, just that you are alive and able to enjoy beauty, with some time for what you love most. Our worries about the future and thinking out all the scenarios and choices in our heads can suck the life and joy out of our todays. You can wake up one day and realize a whole month of your life is gone while you were lost in thought and trying to make decisions.

This day in your life and the next one and the next, is just as important and valuable as any other day or time in your life whether you are working or not.

And if you don't already do it, be as tender and as kind to yourself as you possibly can, especially in the tone of your thoughts toward yourself. Whether you wanted the job or not, something was still lost and it's okay to take some time to grieve the loss. Accept and love yourself just as you would any other friend in your situation. I'm sure you will be fine.
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Old 06-25-2008, 07:07 AM
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Don't worry guys. I know the fear will be there somehow.

Whenever a door slams on your face, another door opens.



I'm running with you guys!
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Old 06-25-2008, 06:36 PM
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Been there myself. There now, really. I lost my job almost a year ago and will never be able to go back to the work I have always done because of my health. I really can't even go shopping anymore without a lot of pain. It may sound silly but I spent a lot of time being sad that I would never be able to run again if I needed to and I never even cared about running before.

I can tell you what has helped me in the past few months. I have found that it's important at a time of uncertainty like this to stay in the present moment as much as possible in your thoughts. Try to enjoy where you are today, in this very moment, just that you are alive and able to enjoy beauty, with some time for what you love most. Our worries about the future and thinking out all the scenarios and choices in our heads can suck the life and joy out of our todays. You can wake up one day and realize a whole month of your life is gone while you were lost in thought and trying to make decisions.

This day in your life and the next one and the next, is just as important and valuable as any other day or time in your life whether you are working or not.

And if you don't already do it, be as tender and as kind to yourself as you possibly can, especially in the tone of your thoughts toward yourself. Whether you wanted the job or not, something was still lost and it's okay to take some time to grieve the loss. Accept and love yourself just as you would any other friend in your situation. I'm sure you will be fine.
wow, you sound like one extraordinary person. I wanted to say "I'm sorry about your sickness" but I won't. You sound great, and you probably are so much stronger... Whoever you are, you rock! And thanks for your response, I really really appreciate it.

I do think about a lot of scary outcomes... I also think a lot about what I want, it's all kind of mixed together... and I definitely start feeling how much it is affecting me and my attitude towards life... I find myself forgetting that this is my life right now and it is slowly slipping away while I am so busy thinking about the future. Thanks for your reminder. I have no idea what it feels like to be sick but I can certainly offer some kindness and support to you.
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Old 06-25-2008, 06:38 PM
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Don't worry guys. I know the fear will be there somehow.

Whenever a door slams on your face, another door opens.



I'm running with you guys!
Yeah the fear is there, but we'll pull through. Everything's gonna be okay, more doors will come. Thanks for your comment.
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Old 06-26-2008, 03:54 AM
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I'm not extraordinary, just have found some peace with where I am now. Spending my life with my stomach in knots, worrying about the future or money wasn't working out for me. Details and doctors and insurance reps and a snowstorm of papers to get my money coming were choking out ME and I felt like I was becoming nothing but my situation. I had no choice but to change and accept some things and I just wanted to pass along to you what had helped.

My life is actually pretty good now. I feel fine unless I over do the walking. I was ready to leave that last job anyway. It was mind-numbing work and I spent most of my time there thinking about how to get out. That was miserable but it paid too good to quit. And then the choice was made for me.

I'll probably get back to work eventually at something less strenuous. But trading that many hours of my life and getting nothing back but money was
a very poor trade. One day a while back, when I was on my way to work and to take my son to school, I made a call to get the lottery numbers. My son asked why I was doing that and I said so I wouldn't have to go to work if I won. Then he honestly asked me "Why wouldn't you go to work if you won the lottery?"

Wouldn't it be great if we all were doing the work we would still do if we won the lottery? I've got an income now and all my time free so I've kinda got a little mini chance at doing that now, once I decide what that work is.

Last edited by NightSpirit : 06-26-2008 at 03:59 AM.
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