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06-19-2008, 08:05 PM
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 Happiness holding me down? I've found myself in an odd emotional state the last several days. I've been feeling mopey and unhappy. But I've also been feeling at peace with that, as if I don't really mind and it doesn't really matter. Normally, I would be miserable over being unhappy, but now I'm just not. I'm depressed, but I don't mind. Moreover, I'm moderately productive. Normally if I'm depressed, I go into this state where I can't really accomplish anything. But now I've changed my diet drastically for the better, I've been working out daily, and I'm finally getting around to finding a job. I'm not sure why this is, but I have a theory. I think that in my mind I associate happiness with a responsibility to be happy, a responsibility to do things that happy people do. I don't want responsibility, I'm tired of being told what to do and more tired of listening, so I've just defaulted to moping and depression. And in a way, I've never felt better about feeling worse, because depression holds no expectations. You don't have to do anything to be depressed, in fact you are expected not to do things. So if I'm depressed, then I can do whatever I want because nobody else has anything to offer if happiness will just make me stressed, which will make me depressed. Depression has become freedom from the chains of happiness that the world tries to hold me by, because if I don't want to be happy what can people really offer me?
__________________ We must conquer ourselves, and allow our selves to conquer the world.      |
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06-20-2008, 07:43 AM
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| I say go for it, do exactly what you want to do. If depression is your thing then embrace it!
__________________ ImprovedLives.com | How to use Psychology for Personal Growth Follow me on Twitter, FriendFeed, and StumbleUpon |
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06-20-2008, 07:11 PM
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| Quote:
__________________ We must conquer ourselves, and allow our selves to conquer the world. |
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06-20-2008, 07:12 PM
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| Quote:
__________________ We must conquer ourselves, and allow our selves to conquer the world. |
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