Fear based thinking..what to do..

[JJohn]

Hello,
I've been reading material from this site for a few weeks and I do like the insights expressed here. My goal is to clean up my negative thinking habits. Espically regarding health and wellness. After reading material here as well as books on this very subject (law of attraction, etc..) I really would like to shift my focus. Now.. heres the thing. I'm a professional in the healthcare field. What I see is mostly all death and dying. (I do mean death and dying, FTD (fixin' to die), circling the drain, one foot on a bananna peal) the young, the old, bleeding out trauma cases to "just keep'm alive long enough for the family to get here". It's not that I dont "like" what i do (I guess I do since I've been in this area for over 10 years) Lately, I'm finding it hard not to dwell on these things. This brings me back to the negative fear based thinking problem. Is it possible to do this kind of job and be positive? Am I damaging my own life because of by work?

[Jarrod]

A couple of questions.

What do you want to shift your focus to precisely?

Which particular fear is effecting you?

Your profession is not one I can relate to so I can't really comment on it but I'm sure it benefits society.

[Fullcrum]

Hey! Good question . Made me think for a bit.

Yes, I believe it is quite possible to do this job and be very VERY positive. Think about it. Even if you are not saving lives, as you admit, you are keeping them alive long enough for the family to see them one last time. Put yourself in their shoes. How would you feel if someone could keep a dying relative alive long enough for you to see them? How would you feel if they died before you saw them?

There are other ways to look at it positively, I'm sure, that's just one way to reframe it.

If you want a product recommendation for simply developing a positive attitude, I can recommend no better in my experience than Paul McKenna's Positivity. It's damn effective, at least for me.

[JJohn]

Basically, I want to shift my focus from sad to happy...to be a postive high enery person. Not a "down", "negative" kinda person. The fear I'm "looking at" right now is personal safety. I know this sounds selfish. (Things like needle sticks or car accidents for example) Historically, it hasn't bothered me much...(maybe this is a case of burnout).

thanks for your input.

Originally Posted by Jarrod

A couple of questions.

What do you want to shift your focus to precisely?

Which particular fear is effecting you?

Your profession is not one I can relate to so I can't really comment on it but I'm sure it benefits society.

[JJohn]

Originally Posted by Fullcrum

Hey! Good question . Made me think for a bit.

Yes, I believe it is quite possible to do this job and be very VERY positive. Think about it. Even if you are not saving lives, as you admit, you are keeping them alive long enough for the family to see them one last time. Put yourself in their shoes. How would you feel if someone could keep a dying relative alive long enough for you to see them? How would you feel if they died before you saw them?

There are other ways to look at it positively, I'm sure, that's just one way to reframe it.

If you want a product recommendation for simply developing a positive attitude, I can recommend no better in my experience than Paul McKenna's Positivity. It's damn effective, at least for me.

Thanks for your help, I'll check it out.

[Jarrod]

Originally Posted by JJohn

Basically, I want to shift my focus from sad to happy...to be a postive high enery person. Not a "down", "negative" kinda person. The fear I'm "looking at" right now is personal safety. I know this sounds selfish. (Things like needle sticks or car accidents for example) Historically, it hasn't bothered me much...(maybe this is a case of burnout).

thanks for your input.

You seem like a smart person so analyse the fears you have for your safety and see which ones are likely. Chances are most of your thoughts for safety are unnecessary. Do something about any real dangers you identify. Once you have looked at a fear, any thoughts that come up about should be disregarded. You don't want to spend your life thinking about it.

What do you do that makes you happy? What things are you passionate about? Have you identified a purpose for your life?

For purpose look at steve's: Discover Your Purpose

For finding your passions my site might help (mini series): Get Excited About Your Life

[Tigerlilly]

Hi, when I read your post the first image that came to my mind was King Leonides out there on the frontline knee-deep in blood. You're dealing with suffering and death on an every day basis, a battle you're bound to loose. Being faced with this kind of thing, I think it's only natural that at one point when your inner energy resources are depleted, fears for your own personal security would creep up.

I don't know, I feel so out of my depth here giving advice on how to overcome negative thoughts associated with stuff that would likely knock me out of my socks within a couple of days. I can't even watch movies in which people get hurt, sick or die without feeling ill about it. What would I tell someone whose chosen path it is to be that close to everything people usually are afraid of and who has problems with negative thoughts creeping up?

What you do is important, and of all the work out there you sure chose one hell of a tough profession and you've been doing it for ten years, which means you have a lot more stamina for this sort of work than I could ever realistically hope to possess in this lifetime(and hopefully I never have to find out one way or the other). I'm not able to see suffering and death as something that enriches my life or anyone else's, facing it to me means nothing more than a challenge to courage.

So I at least can't see your line of work not wearing down the ones that do it. And if you begin to feel the drain, maybe you've exhausted your resources and earned yourself a rest from the battlefield. Maybe this is a case of burnout, as you yourself said.

On the other hand, it could also be a case of simply right now not having enough back-up on the homefront or other areas of your life that could replenish the energy you need to be doing your job. I think fear and fearful thoughts always creep into some emptiness inside.

Since dealing with suffering and death in a way is a basic problem and likely to trigger deep fears in anyone, I'd really love to hear as well what the rest of folks on here have to say about dealing with it.

[JJohn]

Originally Posted by Tigerlilly

Hi, when I read your post the first image that came to my mind was King Leonides out there on the frontline knee-deep in blood. You're dealing with suffering and death on an every day basis, a battle you're bound to loose. Being faced with this kind of thing, I think it's only natural that at one point when your inner energy resources are depleted, fears for your own personal security would creep up.

I don't know, I feel so out of my depth here giving advice on how to overcome negative thoughts associated with stuff that would likely knock me out of my socks within a couple of days. I can't even watch movies in which people get hurt, sick or die without feeling ill about it. What would I tell someone whose chosen path it is to be that close to everything people usually are afraid of and who has problems with negative thoughts creeping up?

What you do is important, and of all the work out there you sure chose one hell of a tough profession and you've been doing it for ten years, which means you have a lot more stamina for this sort of work than I could ever realistically hope to possess in this lifetime(and hopefully I never have to find out one way or the other). I'm not able to see suffering and death as something that enriches my life or anyone else's, facing it to me means nothing more than a challenge to courage.

So I at least can't see your line of work not wearing down the ones that do it. And if you begin to feel the drain, maybe you've exhausted your resources and earned yourself a rest from the battlefield. Maybe this is a case of burnout, as you yourself said.

On the other hand, it could also be a case of simply right now not having enough back-up on the homefront or other areas of your life that could replenish the energy you need to be doing your job. I think fear and fearful thoughts always creep into some emptiness inside.

Since dealing with suffering and death in a way is a basic problem and likely to trigger deep fears in anyone, I'd really love to hear as well what the rest of folks on here have to say about dealing with it.

[JJohn]

Thanks for your thoughts. It helps to get a fresh viewpoint on the situation.
Sometimes I find myself in the "can't see the forest for the trees" place.
I believe that changing my thinking pattern is important...not only for personal reasons (which I admit to selfish desires here) but also for the collective mental thought patterns as a whole. If the laws of attraction are right, then the more of us who dwell on and pay attention to bad things happening to people, the more it brings. I will tell you (as a point of intrest) that it is very true about "things" happening in groups of three. For example, if a death occurs in a particular fashion, we say " well...we got 2 to go"... and that is usually just what happens. Reading about attracting things to self has put that in a whole new light.

[wellbeing]

Jjohn, you've gotten some wonderful suggestions hear from the other posters but I'd like to respond to your post from a LoA perspective.

First off, I'd like you to know I can only imagine some of the particular challenges of the work environment you've described and, should any of the following come across as insensitive, I apologise. And I applaud your courage in working to change your thought patterns in such an environment.

Having been in crisis situations myself, I found it easier to change my thought patterns in calmer moments during the day, even times at home, away from work. An easy tool would be to make a gratitude list each day, upon awakening or before going to bed (or both). List everything and make it a game to make that list longer than the previous one. I can imagine that there are many things about your job for which you might be grateful. For me, I could see myself being thankful for all the wonderful technology that makes your job easier/safer and your patients more comfortable and the outcomes more successful. Or my own good health that keeps me from being a patient in the trauma ward. I would suggest finding time as often as possible to add to your list and to feel as much gratitude (even if it feels a little silly) for each item on your list.

A change of perspective might be helpful for you, too. For instance, rather than making yourself fearful of future needlesticks (a very serious risk, I understand), perhaps you can focus your attention on how many hours/days you've gone without one. I might add to my gratitude list the wonderful new drugs they've created to lessen the impact of a needlestick and the extra training I've received to reduce the likelihood of one. I might pay attention to the words I use in conversation and ask myself things like, while I can see how the phrase, "circling the drain, one foot on a bananna peal," is colorful, do I really want to attract more of this into my world?

I have known people in your position who have rethought their own attitudes towards death and, in doing so, have reframed their jobs as helping people transition from this world. They've shared with me stories of people's (patients/healthcare professionals/loved ones) strength, courage and dignity in extraordinary situations. I know you've seen these sorts of happenings yourself. Give everybody (and yourself credit for these heroics!

I'm sure that, given the circumstances, you are seldom thanked for your efforts but I would wonder if that's simply because the families are too caught up in their own grief to be able to express their gratitude to you. And, from a LoA standpoint, I would suggest you convince yourself that this is the reason.

Would it be helpful for you to imagine your patients (in health and peace), thanking you for all you did for them? I don't mean it to sound ghoulish but it sounds like many of them don't get an opportunity to express to you the gratitude they must feel for what you do.

As you work with these and other techniques to change your thought patterns, please be gentle and patient with yourself. It sounds like you've learned some very dramatic patterns/lessons over these 10 years and are in an environment where instinct and habits kicking in are a good thing. So, if you should find yourself "slipping," don't worry, just continue from that moment on.

You made comments in this thread about not being sure about whether you like what you do (from my own experience, just because I did a job 10 years, didn't mean I liked it) or whether you have "burnout." Your change of thought patterns and the LoA will help you sort through these issues and attract to you, if you intend it, your proper place to be.

I hope I haven't preached too much in my response and I hope I've conveyed my admiration for your courage, not only for the job you do but for your request. I wish you all the best on this path.

[JJohn]

Originally Posted by wellbeing

Jjohn, you've gotten some wonderful suggestions hear from the other posters but I'd like to respond to your post from a LoA perspective.

First off, I'd like you to know I can only imagine some of the particular challenges of the work environment you've described and, should any of the following come across as insensitive, I apologise. And I applaud your courage in working to change your thought patterns in such an environment.

Having been in crisis situations myself, I found it easier to change my thought patterns in calmer moments during the day, even times at home, away from work. An easy tool would be to make a gratitude list each day, upon awakening or before going to bed (or both). List everything and make it a game to make that list longer than the previous one. I can imagine that there are many things about your job for which you might be grateful. For me, I could see myself being thankful for all the wonderful technology that makes your job easier/safer and your patients more comfortable and the outcomes more successful. Or my own good health that keeps me from being a patient in the trauma ward. I would suggest finding time as often as possible to add to your list and to feel as much gratitude (even if it feels a little silly) for each item on your list.

A change of perspective might be helpful for you, too. For instance, rather than making yourself fearful of future needlesticks (a very serious risk, I understand), perhaps you can focus your attention on how many hours/days you've gone without one. I might add to my gratitude list the wonderful new drugs they've created to lessen the impact of a needlestick and the extra training I've received to reduce the likelihood of one. I might pay attention to the words I use in conversation and ask myself things like, while I can see how the phrase, "circling the drain, one foot on a bananna peal," is colorful, do I really want to attract more of this into my world?

I have known people in your position who have rethought their own attitudes towards death and, in doing so, have reframed their jobs as helping people transition from this world. They've shared with me stories of people's (patients/healthcare professionals/loved ones) strength, courage and dignity in extraordinary situations. I know you've seen these sorts of happenings yourself. Give everybody (and yourself credit for these heroics!

I'm sure that, given the circumstances, you are seldom thanked for your efforts but I would wonder if that's simply because the families are too caught up in their own grief to be able to express their gratitude to you. And, from a LoA standpoint, I would suggest you convince yourself that this is the reason.

Would it be helpful for you to imagine your patients (in health and peace), thanking you for all you did for them? I don't mean it to sound ghoulish but it sounds like many of them don't get an opportunity to express to you the gratitude they must feel for what you do.

As you work with these and other techniques to change your thought patterns, please be gentle and patient with yourself. It sounds like you've learned some very dramatic patterns/lessons over these 10 years and are in an environment where instinct and habits kicking in are a good thing. So, if you should find yourself "slipping," don't worry, just continue from that moment on.

You made comments in this thread about not being sure about whether you like what you do (from my own experience, just because I did a job 10 years, didn't mean I liked it) or whether you have "burnout." Your change of thought patterns and the LoA will help you sort through these issues and attract to you, if you intend it, your proper place to be.

I hope I haven't preached too much in my response and I hope I've conveyed my admiration for your courage, not only for the job you do but for your request. I wish you all the best on this path.

[JJohn]

Thanks for taking time out to comment on this issue. I think you have made some great points and I'm encouraged by your examples. It's good to have another viewpoint.
Thanks again.