Daydreaming! need serious help

[sarahsarahsarah11]

Hallo everyone,

okay.. this is really embarrassing.. but I really need help, I don't know what to do.. Ever since... for as long as I can remember... almost ten years, maybe more... I will sit and daydream for a very long time... Like talking out loud acting out kind of daydreaming - I'm not hallucinating, I know I'm daydreaming, but I will full on act it out. Especially, pretty much everytim I go to the bathroom or take a shower i'll do this and an hour will pass, and I'll be late for whatever is I need to do, and I have seriously screwed myself over and waste SOOOOO much time just daydreaming.

I have read so many books, like eckhart tolle, wayne dyer, stephen covey, and I might get success for a little while and I won't daydream, but then the second I get slightly stressed, like even slightly, and actually if I get really happy too all of a sudden I'll start daydreaming. I've had such incredible experiences where I'm so incredibly present, especially after reading eckhart tolle's books, it's amazing, but then I fall back again... I dunno...

Please help me... I'm wasting so much of my life away daydreaming, and I don't know how to get out of it.. I just don't konw what to do.... it especially happens when I need to focus the most too... I just don't know what to do... I daydream soooooo much, all the time, about EVERYTHING under the sun... I don't know... It's like I go unconscious (but not completely) for an hour or so and then wake up... it's so ridiculous... please help... this has been going ever since I was little... please help me.. I feel like I'm stuck in the past, or in some dream world, and I don't know how to get out.. I just keep reliving the past, and then I start creating these scenarios in my head about the past and the present and etc etc etc ... oh just help me stop... my grades, my friends, my life... I don't want to daydream anymore...

[Lychee]

Daydreaming isn't a bad thing until it's done in excess. In fact, maybe you can use your daydreaming constructively for intention-manifestation? You can visualize yourself in your mind completing your obligations while being able to spend some time in the day to let your mind wander.

[JJH]

I agree, daydreaming is a good skill if you can use it appropriately. At least you know you have a rich imagination, capable of involving more that just one sense. Most people have the opposite problem!

When you daydream, is your fantasy in "the future?" If it is, perhaps try adjusting it into the present tense and see what happens. Are your daydreams things, situations, experiences you truly desire? Are they like goals? If not, maybe steer your stories in those directions.

Another idea to try, is after each daydream, make it a priority to write down the "story" of your fantasy. This might be the opposite of what you want at first, because it will add more time. But soon enough, this will change. You will condition yourself to use the daydreams for practical purposes. To get something concrete out of them: plans, solutions to problems, stories for articles, a novel, screenplay???

Try those for now, and I'll keep thinking about it and post again. I used to be in a similar situation -- now I use my daydreams as source material for writing. But, I can't say I wasted time doing it...

[demk]

I have this. With me its a problem because the daydreams can turn into day-nightmares too and I can be thinking about things I dont want to manifest. Recently I have been realising that there are beliefs attached to every movie in my mind and the more I dismantle these beliefs (I've been using the Byron Katie method ( www.thework.com )) the less they bother me. Sometimes my thoughts can be too out there to and reflect arrogant beliefs about myself.

Maybe your avoiding reality for some reason too. Try to be aware of what goes thrugh your mind before you start to daydream. It could lead to some insight.

Btw, talking out loud when you think is quite common. No one really talks about it obviously but a lot of creative people do this.

[Michael Chui]

I agree with Demk; it sounds like you've got an escapism switch built into you. That's not terribly common, and I'd strongly recommend getting someone to help you out in person.

[CeciL]

Find an outlet to channel your creativity...

[Nicketas]

Originally Posted by sarahsarahsarah11

Hallo everyone,

okay.. this is really embarrassing.. but I really need help, I don't know what to do.. Ever since... for as long as I can remember... almost ten years, maybe more... I will sit and daydream for a very long time... Like talking out loud acting out kind of daydreaming - I'm not hallucinating, I know I'm daydreaming, but I will full on act it out. Especially, pretty much everytim I go to the bathroom or take a shower i'll do this and an hour will pass, and I'll be late for whatever is I need to do, and I have seriously screwed myself over and waste SOOOOO much time just daydreaming.

I have read so many books, like eckhart tolle, wayne dyer, stephen covey, and I might get success for a little while and I won't daydream, but then the second I get slightly stressed, like even slightly, and actually if I get really happy too all of a sudden I'll start daydreaming. I've had such incredible experiences where I'm so incredibly present, especially after reading eckhart tolle's books, it's amazing, but then I fall back again... I dunno...

Please help me... I'm wasting so much of my life away daydreaming, and I don't know how to get out of it.. I just don't konw what to do.... it especially happens when I need to focus the most too... I just don't know what to do... I daydream soooooo much, all the time, about EVERYTHING under the sun... I don't know... It's like I go unconscious (but not completely) for an hour or so and then wake up... it's so ridiculous... please help... this has been going ever since I was little... please help me.. I feel like I'm stuck in the past, or in some dream world, and I don't know how to get out.. I just keep reliving the past, and then I start creating these scenarios in my head about the past and the present and etc etc etc ... oh just help me stop... my grades, my friends, my life... I don't want to daydream anymore...

If you are daydreaming about things you would rather be doing, or things you enjoy (while currently involved in things you do not fully enjoy), then it is your unconscious mind trying to tell you to get back on the right path towards manifesting your passions.

If your daydreaming is seemingly random, a few things help:

1] Nutrition. Believe it or not, eating healthy makes a *MASSIVE* Difference in how your brain functions and how effective you are. Once digestion starts, everything you eat goes straight to your brain, your heart, lungs, sex organs....
I'd highly recommend drinking a cup of green tea every day, and eliminating caffeine from your diet completely. Also make sure you sleep well, and go to bed before midnight. Every hour before midnight is worth THREE afterwards. Your body NEEDS good sleep. It's *NOT* optional.

2] Engaging in activities you enjoy. Do you find you're able to focus more when you're doing something fun? DO THAT.

3] Stop drinking alcohol due to its effects on your brain (an ***occasional*** glass of fine wine is ok)), and if you're dating any psychoactive medication (adderall, ritalin, prozac, etc. etc.) talk to your doctor about coming off of them safely.

4] Instead of focusing completely on ending your daydreams, use them as a signal that you need to take action. Your mind is telling you something, as is your body. LISTEN TO WHAT YOUR MIND AND BODY ARE TELLING YOU, EVERY TIME. Other people can wait, YOUR HEALTH ALWAYS COMES FIRST. PERIOD.

There's a lot more to this, but this will certainly get you at LEAST 75-80% of the way there

[mattsonn]

I have much a less extreme version of what you described. It changes from day to day. And I don't act anything out. Instead, when I'm in full blown daydreaming mode, real life and what ever it is that my brain has decided to latch onto will fight each other for my focused attention. Now that I think about it, I realize that I've had this since I was a little kid.

I get it more when I'm stressed also, it's like my mind goes into that mode as a safety switch. For me, a cold shower will snap me back to here-and-now. But you might want to see a doctor, obviously one who will acknowledge the problem instead of just waving it off as silly.

Edit: I just saw this part in your post

"I just keep reliving the past, and then I start creating these scenarios in my head about.."

I COMPLETELY have that too...to the point where it's ridiculous. When I was in elementary school, I saw a 3-2-1 Contact show about drugs. They said that crack can block a certain part of the brain that prevents experiences and thoughts from being played out over and over again in your mind. The example that they used is that a person who's on crack and then goes on a roller coaster could end up reliving the ride over and over again afterwards. The episode freaked me out of course, but even then I could relate to what it is was talking about.

[yanisincere]

Hello,everybody!
This is my first post today! I have visited this website several times before,I found I can get many useful and supportive information and methods to help me grow up! Sure , I want to grow up ,especially psychologically I sincerelly hope I can learn more and I can help others

[yanisincere]

At first . I am sorry , It seems I made a mistake to put my first post above under this section.Next time ,I am sure to put the right content on the right place.
To:sarahsarahsarah11: day dreaming is not so bad, persons who are easy to day dream are imaginative ,whiters ofen needs to complete their works in a way like daydreaming. Of course , I know it is really annoyed when we spent too much time to day dream ,which is really a waste of time. So maybe it is better for you to spend some time to day dream ,you'd better set the regular time to day dream, and you try to keep away of daydreaming at other time of the some day.

[techgirl74]

Originally Posted by demk

With me its a problem because the daydreams can turn into day-nightmares too and I can be thinking about things I dont want to manifest.

I know this is an old post....but I am hoping this person is still around and can give me some insight if they found some things that may have worked. I ahve been under a lot of stress lately and this has been happening to me mroe and more. I guess I have had the problem for years...but here recently its been happening a lot more frequently.

If I idle...when I have a lull at work, or especially when I try to lie down to go to sleep...I can be thinking happy thoughts about what I want to do and all of a sudden this daydream turns into a day nightmare...out of nowhere...

After a few minute maybe two just long enough to cause me to be unsettled and upset (not crying or hysterical or anyting but definitely now unable to sleep or even worried) I can shake my head and try to move on but that sets me up for a whole realm of worry....and a sleepless night or a day of blah.

I do have a touch of ADD, and I am BiPolar the ADD is pretty much under control. Enough that I can tell when I am not focused and say "hey get control" which most cannot do. The BiPolar - same thing...although I am going to ask for an increase in meds by a smidge when i go back. But I am in control enough to know I need that - if that makes sense - where some are just all over the place...I am not.


With that being said, any ideas???

[CroMagna]

I used to have the same problem and still do, though not as strongly. I would have very nasty daydreams of being verbally abused, raped, or being in vicious arguments with people. I would actually act it out an argument, even in public and I would come out of it and see people staring at me, frightened. The look on people's faces made me realize this was serious. It turns out I have major depression with some psychosis. I would strongly suggest seeing a psychiatrist because acting out your daydreams is not normal. Maybe you need Risperdal. This is basically talking to yourself, which is not normal.

You were traumatized and crawled inside your mind. You have a rumination problem. Maybe you have Pure O, the obsessional wing of OCD. It will not change over night with a book or a comment, this was years in the making and will take months, maybe even years to change. In addition to the medicine, you NEED to do other things like read empowering books, meditate, and be on a diet/exercise program. Seriously. Not like "oh meditation sounds nice and soothing, I guess I'll try it and see." No you are ruining your entire life. There are people you see on the street talking to themselves who will be like that until the day they die. That is very possible. Do you want that to be you? You have to be vigilant all the time about these daydreams.

[ar81]

How about setting time frames to daydreaming?
Scheduled daydreaming?

[techgirl74]

I probably should have said this...I dont act anything out. Never have. Let me give an actual example. My bf and I have been talking a lot about moving. Which I want to do. I cannot stand where I am right now. That is 100% honesty right there. The cold weather does not bode well with one of my ailments. Anyway, I am lying in bed thinking about how GREAT it would be to be someplace nice...daydreaming if you will about a nice home, where its warm, decent jobs maybe someplace close to a beach or something around Florida. Then out of nowhere this "nightmare thought" sneaks in about me coming home and finding a huge snake in the house and it having eaten my two cats and it having just done it..and I can actually still see them writhing about inside the beast...and I am screaming at the bf to kill it and get them out..... then BAM I snap out of this thought and shake it off....but it was there so now I cant sleep.

Now I DO have a huge fear of snakes (and they do haunt my dreams occasionally and have ever since I was about 4 or 5)...and quiet honestly large snakes and crocs is a fear of moving to Fla for me when it comes to my animals but I was not even thinking about that at the time. At least not conciously.

However, thoughts like this "sneak" into my head whenever I idle...or daydream. No matter what the happy thoughts may be. And like I said...MORE so when I am stressed and lately our world has been SO stressed with family illness, everything in the house breaking and so on and so forth. But I did want to clearthat up - I do not now, nor have I ever acted things out...they are just fleeting "nightmareish" thoughts that come into my mind....like an unconcious thought brought forward duirng a daydream or something...and I find it odd....I didn't know if that would be classified as a daydream "nightmare" or what?

[Shyone]

Those who have no ability to dream are lacking in the most fundamental sense. They can function in society of course, but merely as followers. Recognize imagination is a strength not a weakness. However, any ability that is too strong, or overused can be detrimental. So, you need to learn how to control your imagination, and use it as a tool, as opposed to escaping in it all the time. Remember that you have the ultimate authority over your mind.

[ellie]

Wow interesting to read. I never knew you could get stuck in daydreams as an adult. I used to be a big day dreamer as a child and teenager years, but have outgrown it since. I always thought it would be great to have such a vivid imagination as an adult, to take you out of the reality of life at times.

I hope you find a solution, maybe you need to be really strong with yourself and say out aloud "I will not daydream until such and such a time".

[Michael Chui]

techgirl,

I really would suggest talking with your psychiatrist. While what you've described could qualify simply as buckets of stress (in which case the solution is any and all effective stress relief), I couldn't diagnose that and you don't seem to believe it. A trustworthy, professional opinion would probably do you a lot of good. I'm surprised you haven't brought this up with her or him.

[CroMagna]

Whether you act them out or not, they are quite serious. You either have OCD or an anxiety problem. This type of nightmarish thinking can lead to panic attacks. You are mentally overstimulated. You need to find ways to combat this like by seeing a psychiatrist. Read, talk, do NOT seek reassurance, exercise, meditate.

[sarahsarahsarah11]

hey, I'm the one who originally posted this. Now, I would have / still do but not so much -- daydreams as well as daynightmares as well, like it seems ur saying.

For daydreams,
1. Figure out what need it is in the daydreams that is wanting to be fulfilled, and fulfill it. I.e. I would daydream about rescuing someone, so then I started working on making myself the kind of person who COULD rescue someone i.e. working out, or gaining the knowledge, etc. If I daydreamed about having more friends and deep conversations, I would stop daydreaming and just pick up my phone and call someone, preferably/usually my friends or someone I was thinking about becoming better friends with, but if none of them were available, a member of my family. Or I would just get up and get into my car and just drive to my friend's house.

For daynightmares
1. Facing fears. Sometimes forcibly. i.e. afraid of the dark... sometimes still am. But to get myself back into sleeping with the lights off, I would keep the lightswitch in my hand (I have a floor lamp with a switch that comes away from it) and just turn it off, and I would just lie there with my heart racing but I wouldn't give, even if I was just clutching the light switch.
2. If ur afraid of something, I feel the best way to deal with any fear is to face it head on. i.e. if you're afraid of snakes, go to the zoo and check them out and stand there and watch them even if it makes your skin crawl. i know a guy who was afraid of sharks, terrified, so he worked as lifeguard to shake the fear.

In general, gaining more presence. Understanding your place in life. Presence, being inthe now, i.e. do yoga, meditation, etc. I think however, do yoga at a yoga class, you gain more insight that way with a good teacher, even meditation maybe seek meditation groups etc.

In your particular case, I have to say that when I'm extremely stressed, i do have issues fighting off the daydreams / daynightmares, they do come back, perhaps with not the same intensity, but enough to make feel thrown off. I feel like it's my automatic stress response, and it's difficult to shake... though I've noticed that even when I'm stressed it's more daydreams than daynightmares the more my outlook on life has improved.

Deal with the stress that ur in right now. Change of weather/scenery can do amazing things, to be sure. Also really though, take a look at your outlook on life, if you hold any negative beliefs about anyone or anything, challenge them head on, the more stubborn you are about a negative belief you hold, the more it needs to be dealt with. Also look into all healing practices that are available to you, especially any kind of energetic healing practices i.e. reiki

This is a long, and constant process, but it's very rewarding. I've never been so present in my life, and I can tell you it's taken me a long time to be this way, and it just keeps going.

hope this helps!

[z1freeride]

You should check out this article: Do You Live a Fantasy Life, or Do Your Fantasies Control You?

It's helped me a lot.

[darkw0rker]

Ok let me tell you something.

I have the exact same problem.

I daydream for hours everyday. Although I do not feel a second of it.

I am simply amazed when I sit at my computer, monitor screen blank, and then I notice that it has been 2 hours since I first and now that I am trying to turn on the PC.

All these 4 years, I felt depressed and ashamed of myself at the end of the day, because I felt worthless of doing NOTHING.

But something happened last week. I thought about why I feel bad for daydreaming.

I mean if you want to go out and do things, you can never do them perfectly right?

So why even bother?

This is how I enjoy daydreaming nowadays. Although I should mention that all I do in life, like studying, is done poorly because of this time consuming noble activity. But once you actually stop regretting and feeling bad about daydreaming, you enter a new sort of life.

It's like you are not living, but you're not dead either. It feels really great!

By the way, this is not perhaps a solution, just my opinion, and you should perhaps not listen to me, because then you become too different in this world, and you will suffer because of being different.

Hope you can find your own solution.

Good Luck

[mammalspod]

I have the same problem with being locked in daydream mode and not being productive. I don't think the answer is to use daydreams as a positive, because for people like us the daydream is not our mind trying to tell us something useful, it is simply just sitting there thinking about random things and life events instead of doing the things we need to do to succeed. When we're in daydream mode it is a mindset which obstructs the ability to be applied to tasks or goal directed action.

As much as I try when this happens, it is difficult when I'm in that mode to try to be productive and think about the things I need to get done or things that will benefit my life. So I think the problem here is how to get OUT of daydream mode and into a mind state that alllows me to have conscious control over what I'm thinking about and doing. Many people consider this problem to be related to motivation, but most would not call me unmotivated in a general sense. I have incredible discipline when it comes to labor work or exercise. I love to climb some really tough mountain routes that most people would find unreasonable in terms of the effort and pain required.

The problem for me is attaining a state of mind which causes me to be more inclined toward goals. If anyone has any ideas as to how I could accomplish this please contribute them. Thanks.

[brendannz]

I can really relate to this problem. From the sounds of things you might have it worse than me, I'm not sure, you might even just have it differently to me. Sometimes I'll be working in a day job, and I'll be smiling to myself, and it freaks people around me out, they want to know what I'm smiling/ laughing at.. I have to hope I don't get caught, but I do get caught quite often..

I more or less can't work in a 9-5 job without zoning off and smiling to myself, even sometimes I have to try hard not to start laughing to myself in everyday life, about things that have happened in the past.

From my experience, I can't help being dreamy. What you can do that might be quite helpful for you, is to make a list of tasks that you need to get done in the day, and make sure you do them. and do this quite often. Have plans for what you need to get done, and tick them off as you go along.

Asides from that, if you can't help daydreaming, you can't help daydreaming.

[brendannz]

Originally Posted by mammalspod

The problem for me is attaining a state of mind which causes me to be more inclined toward goals. If anyone has any ideas as to how I could accomplish this please contribute them. Thanks.

As I said to the OP, I don't think you can help it if you daydream. Basically the problem is you have an overactive imagination, but Albert Einstein (he was dreamy too) said "Imagination is more important than knowledge" so harness your overactive imagination, don't try and run away from it.

[Tanja]

Originally Posted by mammalspod

instead of doing the things we need to do to succeed. When we're in daydream mode it is a mindset which obstructs the ability to be applied to tasks or goal directed action.
but most would not call me unmotivated in a general sense. I have incredible discipline when it comes to labor work or exercise. I love to climb some really tough mountain routes that most people would find unreasonable in terms of the effort and pain required.

Do you start daydreaming no matter what activities you engage in (ok, apart from labour work or exercise)?
Have you tried meditation?
Or maybe some concentration exercises like this, Concentration Exercises for Training and Focusing the Mind


You could set aside 30 min every day, just for daydreaming, I'm not sure if that way you could train your mind to daydream only in those periods.

[brendannz]

Originally Posted by Tanja

You could set aside 30 min every day, just for daydreaming, I'm not sure if that way you could train your mind to daydream only in those periods.

The thing is daydreaming is caused by a lack of focus on the outside world, usually, so I don't think if you can deliberately daydream for a period of time, so you won't accidentally daydream, if just kind of happens.

[Tanja]

Hmm, okay then...
Maybe those concentration exercises could help.
Or trying to catch yourself as often as possible when you start doing it...and then back up and see what triggers it.If you're bored with the activity you're doing or maybe when performing automated activities...
Not sure how else to ''harness'' it and use it productively.

[brendannz]

Originally Posted by Tanja

Hmm, okay then...
Maybe those concentration exercises could help.
Or trying to catch yourself as often as possible when you start doing it...and then back up and see what triggers it.If you're bored with the activity you're doing or maybe when performing automated activities...
Not sure how else to ''harness'' it and use it productively.

Ohh yeah, they might be helpful, I guess it would do no harm in trying..

Thanks for posting.

[ar81]

Daydreaming is not bad if you can control the helm wheel.
The problem I see is that probably you may want to escape from some reality.
Did you have a continued harsh family situation that led you to disconnect from the world?

Try using arts for daydreaming.
Do not try to show your artistic work to people during the first years.

[maujood]

Hi guys!

In case some of you are still here, I think I have something to share.

I've had a lot of issues with this myself. I zone out and daydream a lot. And I also often tend to act out the daydreams and I'm often discovered (to my utter embarrasment) talking and smiling or laughing to myself.

I think I have this problem because I have an attention deficit hyperactivity disorder of primarily inattentive type, and some of you guys might have it too. The following are symptoms somebody with this disorder might have:

* Often fails to give close attention to details or makes mistakes in schoolwork;
* difficulty sustaining attention in tasks;
* seems not to listen;
* fails to follow instructions or finish work;
* unorganized;
* difficulties with schoolwork or homework;
* loses things like school assignments, books, tools, etc.;
* easily distracted;
* forgetful about daily activities.

A sizeable percentage of these people also have excessive daydreaming issues. Here are some quotes I've taken from a website all of you should check out:

Technically, ADD is not something you can suddenly come down with. "Symptoms" such as excessive daydreaming or hyperactivity must be present by the age of seven in two or more settings and cannot be explained by some other psychological condition such as depression or anxiety.

What is ADD?

The daydreamer types often also have lethargy and drowsiness issues. Read this one too: Sluggish cognitive tempo - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Check out wikipedia articles on this disorder too.

And there do exist medications that are known to work with people with this disorder (something called Ritalin, I think) but I don't know much about them. I've never taken any medications for this.