I've hited rock bottom.

[DarKnight]

I'm thankfull for everything I have. A house, a loving family, a girlfriend, a car and plans for my future.
But recently, several events from my life had lead me to feel sad, and not wanting to do anything. These are those events:

1) My grandad passed away yesterday. Well, it sucks. My family is destroyed. We were just recovering last years other grandparent death, and here is death again, bringing this "dark" atmosphere into my family. Everybody is depressed, crying al the time, people calling and stuff.

2) My girfriend wants to have sex with me. No, i'm not crazy, this actually gives me the creep. I'm 21 and a virgin. I have a problem with my little friend called phimosis, wich pretty much transforms sex into unbearable pain. So I can't have sex with her, and I don't want to tell her about my problem (too ashamed).
She keeps presuring me to do it. To correct my problem I should go into surgery (circumcision), but sex, and penis surgeries are the last thing on my mind because:

3) My grades are terrible. I'm failing every single of my classes. If I want to pass my subjects I have to start studying like an animal, to catch up. But I don't feel like studying. i'm just not in the mood I guess.

So that's pretty much it. I would love something like a motivational song or video that you can recommend me. One of those "yeah, your life is crap right now, but it will get better" things.
Thanks for reading I'm not retarded, my native lenguaje is not english.

[{aspiring_to_clarity}]

Originally Posted by DarKnight

1) My grandad passed away yesterday. Well, it sucks. My family is destroyed. We were just recovering last years other grandparent death, and here is death again, bringing this "dark" atmosphere into my family. Everybody is depressed, crying al the time, people calling and stuff.

I am sorry about your grandad. In this case, I can say that with time it becomes easier to handle. Also, I do believe that he is still with you. How about telling him that you miss him and just remembering all the good things about him? That can give you peace sometimes.

Originally Posted by DarKnight

2) My girfriend wants to have sex with me. No, i'm not crazy, this actually gives me the creep. I'm 21 and a virgin. I have a problem with my little friend called phimosis, wich pretty much transforms sex into unbearable pain. So I can't have sex with her, and I don't want to tell her about my problem (too ashamed).
She keeps presuring me to do it. To correct my problem I should go into surgery (circumcision), but sex, and penis surgeries are the last thing on my mind because:.

On this, I would advise you to tell her. I am sure it will be a tough thing to do, but the thing is it's not something that's going to go away on it's own. And it's nothing to be ashamed of, you haven't done anything wrong. I am just guessing, but maybe she feels like you just don't want her. If she knew the truth she could understand and hopefully be supportive of you.

Originally Posted by DarKnight

3) My grades are terrible. I'm failing every single of my classes. If I want to pass my subjects I have to start studying like an animal, to catch up. But I don't feel like studying. i'm just not in the mood I guess.

It's a stressful time. I can understand why studying is not very enticing right now. Maybe you could take a semester off so you can get your bearings and go back when you are able to really focus.

It's true that things can get better. And good for you for seeking out help. I wish you the best. And, your English is very good!

[Dannyboy1]

Originally Posted by DarKnight

I'm thankfull for everything I have. A house, a loving family, a girlfriend, a car and plans for my future.
But recently, several events from my life had lead me to feel sad, and not wanting to do anything. These are those events:

1) My grandad passed away yesterday. Well, it sucks. My family is destroyed. We were just recovering last years other grandparent death, and here is death again, bringing this "dark" atmosphere into my family. Everybody is depressed, crying al the time, people calling and stuff.

2) My girfriend wants to have sex with me. No, i'm not crazy, this actually gives me the creep. I'm 21 and a virgin. I have a problem with my little friend called phimosis, wich pretty much transforms sex into unbearable pain. So I can't have sex with her, and I don't want to tell her about my problem (too ashamed).
She keeps presuring me to do it. To correct my problem I should go into surgery (circumcision), but sex, and penis surgeries are the last thing on my mind because:

3) My grades are terrible. I'm failing every single of my classes. If I want to pass my subjects I have to start studying like an animal, to catch up. But I don't feel like studying. i'm just not in the mood I guess.

So that's pretty much it. I would love something like a motivational song or video that you can recommend me. One of those "yeah, your life is crap right now, but it will get better" things.
Thanks for reading I'm not retarded, my native lenguaje is not english.

But, when I'm stuck under a load of depression, I'll go on a vacation to nowhere. Just get out of town and get a hotel. Treat yourself to dinners and movies... go to the beach... even a couple days can make a world of difference. Leave a message on your phone you'll be back in a couple days and turn it off.

[Lauxa]

Here's my favorite uplifting song/video right not, not exactly what you had in mind but I hope you like it!

YouTube - Discovery Channel: I Love the World

[Remiel]

Take comfort in the fact that you have hit bottom. And that there is no way left to go but up .

[DarKnight]

I am sorry about your grandad. In this case, I can say that with time it becomes easier to handle. Also, I do believe that he is still with you. How about telling him that you miss him and just remembering all the good things about him? That can give you peace sometimes.

I'm already at peace I'm just really sad. But the good sad.

On this, I would advise you to tell her. I am sure it will be a tough thing to do, but the thing is it's not something that's going to go away on it's own. And it's nothing to be ashamed of, you haven't done anything wrong. I am just guessing, but maybe she feels like you just don't want her. If she knew the truth she could understand and hopefully be supportive of you.

Yeah, I guess I should, but I don't know.. it's just to embarrasing. I'm afraid that she'll never want to have sex with me if she founds out.

It's a stressful time. I can understand why studying is not very enticing right now. Maybe you could take a semester off so you can get your bearings and go back when you are able to really focus.

No, there is no way I can take a semester out.

It's true that things can get better. And good for you for seeking out help. I wish you the best. And, your English is very good!

Thanks a million

But, when I'm stuck under a load of depression, I'll go on a vacation to nowhere. Just get out of town and get a hotel. Treat yourself to dinners and movies... go to the beach... even a couple days can make a world of difference. Leave a message on your phone you'll be back in a couple days and turn it off.

That would be nice, but my 0 dolar income kinda gets in the way lol

[{aspiring_to_clarity}]

Originally Posted by DarKnight

I'm already at peace I'm just really sad. But the good sad.

That's the way I am about my grandma who passed last year. Big hug!

Originally Posted by DarKnight

Yeah, I guess I should, but I don't know.. it's just to embarrasing. I'm afraid that she'll never want to have sex with me if she founds out.

Hmm. Well, she really wants to have sex with you now so I don't think this would change her mind. I do understand feeling embarrased, but in this case, I think your fear of telling her is worse than the outcome would be. That's my opinion, being a woman, based on how I would react.

Originally Posted by DarKnight

No, there is no way I can take a semester out.

I see. I am not really sure I have too many practical tips about school, so I hope someone else will!

Originally Posted by DarKnight

That would be nice, but my 0 dolar income kinda gets in the way lol

If you live near to a park, going out for a walk for an hour or two is always helpful to me in lifting me out of a bad mood.

[Jamie]

Tend to agree with aspiring, perhaps you're putting yourself under too much presure (with exams) considering your current circumstances.

It's okay if you can't handle everything all at once, may be for the best to take a step back, breathe, digest your current life changes, then decide on priorities.

If it was me, I'd be tempted to put less energy in to study and exams; tell my GF the truth, and get something practical done about that (surgery?). You may find the intimacy and emotional closeness will be a great stress relief and help other areas of your life? I dunno (am hardly an expert in these things myself), what do you think?

All the best.

ps. When my grandparents died; I was quite happy and peaceful about it, no more suffering, and I kinda feel their presence; I know that sounds odd.

pps. Good luck!

[Jamie]

I'm also a great believer in being completely honest with women (who have already invested in you), I think they apprecieate your honesty and willingness to be vulnerable with them; it show you trust them.

Not that I ever do that myself you understand, way too much of a coward for all that wussy stuff.

[Angela]

Originally Posted by Jamie

I'm also a great believer in being completely honest with women (who have already invested in you), I think they apprecieate your honesty and willingness to be vulnerable with them; it show you trust them.

Not that I ever do that myself you understand, way too much of a coward for all that wussy stuff.

Very amusing, Jamie! Especially in light of your recent "helping others" thread.

[Dan.Linehan]

The Brand New Heavies -- You Are The Universe

[Hugs]

[Jamie]

Originally Posted by Angela

Very amusing, Jamie! Especially in light of your recent "helping others" thread.

Excellent!!

I think I may have the makings of a 7 day complete honestly challenge there, just as an experiment to see what happens..

It's funny you know, how much we like to put our best foot forward, present our best side (best image), and cover up all our no-so-good bits; or bits we feel a bit ashamed about. Like there's always some things about us that we're hesitant to divulge; and I know with me, it's often down to lack of trust and fear.

[Steve Pavlina]

It's amazing how you've found a way to turn blessings into curses.

#1 is a chance to experience love, gratitude, and oneness.

#2 is an opportunity for love, honesty, connection, courage, healing, and long-term pleasure.

#3 is a chance to overcome and release some social conditioning, learn self-trust, discover your true passion, and learn what really drives you.

Three golden growth opportunities just fell into your lap, and you consider this a bad thing? If this is rock bottom, what the heck does the top look like?

Instead of complaining, "Why me?" consider asking, "How did I get so lucky?" Otherwise you're disrespecting the tremendous value of these gifts.

[Acting Like Godot]

Oh, you stupid young man. You don't know what you're missing.

Hurry up and get your surgery done, then have lots of sex. I guarantee that you will cheer up a lot.

[Nicketas]

Originally Posted by DarKnight

I'm thankfull for everything I have. A house, a loving family, a girlfriend, a car and plans for my future.
But recently, several events from my life had lead me to feel sad, and not wanting to do anything. These are those events:

1) My grandad passed away yesterday. Well, it sucks. My family is destroyed. We were just recovering last years other grandparent death, and here is death again, bringing this "dark" atmosphere into my family. Everybody is depressed, crying al the time, people calling and stuff.

2) My girfriend wants to have sex with me. No, i'm not crazy, this actually gives me the creep. I'm 21 and a virgin. I have a problem with my little friend called phimosis, wich pretty much transforms sex into unbearable pain. So I can't have sex with her, and I don't want to tell her about my problem (too ashamed).
She keeps presuring me to do it. To correct my problem I should go into surgery (circumcision), but sex, and penis surgeries are the last thing on my mind because:

3) My grades are terrible. I'm failing every single of my classes. If I want to pass my subjects I have to start studying like an animal, to catch up. But I don't feel like studying. i'm just not in the mood I guess.

So that's pretty much it. I would love something like a motivational song or video that you can recommend me. One of those "yeah, your life is crap right now, but it will get better" things.
Thanks for reading I'm not retarded, my native lenguaje is not english.

Start making decisions to get your most pertinent problems handled and stop sitting around thinking about them.

Put your girlfriend on hold and go fix your problems.

There is no creative answer here and no reason to tell her a damn thing - it's none of her business unless YOU CHOOSE for it to be.

Giving an intimate partner your problems makes them codependant and turns them into a therapist instead of a lover. Don't do it.

Talk to your doctor. Now. Get that handled first.

Then deal with your grades - one class at a time.

Then slowly learn to enjoy sex with your girlfriend AT YOUR PACE.

Be ready to say NO whenever YOU WANT TO.

[Jamie]

Originally Posted by Acting Like Godot

Oh, you stupid young man. You don't know what you're missing.

Hurry up and get your surgery done, then have lots of sex. I guarantee that you will cheer up a lot.

I was thinking just that too!

I still think being open, and allowing yourself to be vulnerable (within reason) with your GF, can only be a good thing. My advice would be to share your concerns, about your medical condition, with her (I didn't mean you should share ALL of your problems with her, just the issues that relate to your relationship with her).

Best of luck!

[Arboretor]

Originally Posted by DarKnight

Yeah, I guess I should, but I don't know.. it's just to embarrasing. I'm afraid that she'll never want to have sex with me if she founds out.

On the contrary. She will leave you if she doesn't know, because she will think that you don't like her. If she knew it is only a little problem that can be corrected with surgery, she would understand and support you. Believe me. I had phimosis too, and I waited until my 40's until I corrected it. I wish I had done it earlier. Get over your fear and embarrassment. It is worth it.

[Alexjstrandberg]

isn't phimosis fixed by masturbating A LOT?

[DarKnight]

isn't phimosis fixed by masturbating A LOT?

hehe if that was the case I would have cured myself years ago lol

Thanks everybody for your advises