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|06-05-2008, 07:21 PM||#1 (permalink)|
Join Date: Jun 2008
Addicted to a girl, and i don't want to be
Ok this is going to be a pretty long story. Want I want a advice about? How to get over her...
I'm 20, she is 19. I met this girl at school in August of 07, we jumped right into a relationship and things were good. 2 weeks in i lost my virginity to her. After about 3 weeks i found her annoying and then broke up with her. She was crushed, i didn't care at all.
Then she gets together with this guy about 2 weeks later and for 3 months they stay together (break up in january). I hate this guy, he is a douche bag womanizing piece of ♥♥♥♥♥. After they break up i realize all the sudden that i miss her a lot. We get back into a relationship in February and things are amazing. I don't think she is annoying, i look at her completely differently and i am so into her. I have no idea how i felt differently about her.
The relationship is great. We have sex about every night, (not bragging, just think sex with her is relevant to my problems). She tells me she loves me. She sleeps over every night. We get along great. not a single fight, i don't think i'm in love but things with her are so good. About 1 1/2 months in i find out she cheated on me (had sex with her ex bf). I was so crushed. I can't sleep, i can't study, all i think about is her. I didn't talk to her for a week and then she begged me for another chance. I gave her another chance.
1 week later I hear that she has once again been cheating on me from one of her friends (sex again). She tells me that she intended on telling me, not true.
So at this point i want to kill her and him (not literally, i am sane). her roommate hangs out at my house quite often so i decide to pursue her. She is good looking and i wanted to have sex with her because i am horny but more for the fact that my ex would find out. And find out she did. it crushed her and i hated seeing her like that. Having sex with her roommate made me feel terrible and made me think about my ex more.
So i talk to her the next day or the one after and then she says she wants another chance. We talk for 2 hours in my car about how things are going to work and she convinced me to give her another chance, don't ask me how.
Right after i said she can have another chance, literally, she goes up to this guy's house AGAIN, but this time they don't have sex. The next day she comes over and we talk and i tell her i am giving her one last chance, at this point it is almost humorous to me how disgustingly terrible our relationship has come to be that i actually laughed at what i was doing.
The following day she text messages me saying that she failed once again, not sex, but talking to the guy. So i am completely done with this, i couldn't handle it. Didn't talk to her for another 2 weeks.
End of the semester rolls around and i tell her i want to say goodbye to her. we meet up a couple days later and talk for 2 hours. We get into relationship talk and about how we're going to talk a lot over the summer and if things go well we will want to get back together. this other guy she had cheated on me with said he didn't want a relationship at all because he is a piece of crap and just wanted sex.
So now summer rolls around and her and i start texting constantly. More than 100 times a day, 24/7 we are in contact. We talk on the phone for 2 hours a night minimum. we are obsessing over one another. If she doesn't text me fast enough i get pissed, and vice versa. I know, childish. but we talk about how we're so obsessed with eachother that it is not healthy, but we both like that we are both into one another.
she talks dirty to me on the phone, she sends me videos, etc. i forgot to mention that i believe she was somewhat addicted to sex, as was i. so we talk so much for about three weeks that it basically seems we're together.
I see a psychiatrist to see why i don't hate her for what she did. I want to know why i can't forget about her. i want to know how i can still have her in my life but not feel miserable. He says i can't have her in my life as a friend and that i am addicted to her. She is my drug. I feel this is very true. I can't stand not talking to her and i can't just see her as a friend.
anyways, so one night i don't talk to her and she gets so pissed for 2 days. things seem completely different, she says it's because she doesn't like feeling so obsessive that she gets that pissed about something so little. but i think it's because this other guy started talking to her again.
anyways, she lives in kansas and her mom was going to get surgery in ohio so, being from PA, i was going to go visit her for 4 days. 2 days before that she tells me that we are moving way too quickly and that she wants to slow things down for a bit and be more friendly. Next thing i know we aren't talking on the phone and rarely texting one another.
I knew it had to be because of this other guy. And i was right, one day before i was going to see her in ohio he tells her he likes her again and they get into a f****** relationship. i think he just wanted to get back with her because he didn't want me to come visit her in ohio. that is the first thing he said to her when they got together, is jon going to come visit you? he lives really close to ohio. I know that is the only reason why he got back together with her, it has to be. so anyways, again, i am screwed, 5 times. I feel like ♥♥♥♥♥, all i think about is her. how she chose him again. how i lost. how she likes him more than me. how she lied to me. how she led me on. i feel miserable whenever i'm alone. all i think about is her. i still feel obsessive.
i haven't talked to her for 3 days, i'm trying to get over her and get her out of my life completely. it's very hard. HOW DO I GET OVER THIS GIRL!?!?!
Last edited by jjm5119; 06-05-2008 at 07:35 PM.
|06-06-2008, 03:42 AM||#2 (permalink)|
Join Date: Jun 2008
I would say explore your options
You seem to recognize that she is bad for you. You even said you believed she was your drug. If that's the case, you should approach it as such.
I think talking to someone is a good choice. I think like all addicts you need to seperate yourself from contact with her.
If I was in your shoes, I would continue to enjoy your youth but through other people. Like you said, you lost your virginity to this girl, so its understandable that you have a certain level of emotion attachment; however, you need to realize that your emotional experience is limited. You have to realize that while you may (dis)like someone, they aren't the right person for you. Easier said than done, but move on and find somebody new and clean out the demons in your own closet.
Try to find a more sane girl next time
|06-07-2008, 07:32 PM||#6 (permalink)|
Join Date: Nov 2006
I remember when I first went to college and there was this guy I knew from high school and he was "in love" with me but I wasn't that into him so I broke it off. We had been chatting in a public forum and after I broke up with him he kept going there and then started talking dirty to this other girl on the forum and so I got a new ID on the forum so I could spy on him and it just made me feel terrible and it was so painful but I couldn't stop.
I was so unhappy and I wanted to go back to him, but I didn't and eventually met other people and then found Mr. Right. Just know that a relationship should not be so painful, when you find the right person you should feel like you are floating on air, not walking on nails.
Maybe you could try reading Erin's article on "How to Attract the Relationship of Your Dreams".
|06-12-2008, 04:53 AM||#7 (permalink)|
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Bangalore, India
I can kinda relate to what you are going through. It's the very definition of hell. The only way I was able to overcome such an obsession is to make a new one - so explore an activity you haven't before and something that excites you, something that no other person can take away.
Do you know what you want out of life? What would you want to do that does not depend on other people? Career ambition? Things you want to do before you die? Go to Europe? It can be anything.
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