Managing Your Thoughts...

[DEEJ]

Hello all....

I’m attempting to get more 'Control' in my mental world but I have a bit of a contradiction going on....

I've read many spiritual books and an ACT book (Acceptance Commitment therapy) so I often take the mindful stance of watching my mental world as the 'Observer,' 'Defused' and detached from my mental world, allowing thoughts to drift by without entanglement....

However, I also believe that it is important to replace thoughts with more constructive thinking to have a positive influence on the subconscious mind and shape my world and attitudes in a constructive and positive way and a big part of this would be replacing a negative thoughts with a positive counterpart.

I know the importance of not getting into a mental struggle or war with your thoughts because this only energizes them and raises their importance (What you resist persists) and I feel like when I replace negative thoughts I’m fighting an internal battle in a way?

So my dilemma is how do I best shape my perceptions and attitudes, and nurture constructive alternatives to negative thinking without fighting a mental war. It is possible? Maybe I need to let go of my rigidity surrounding this and do whatever feels right at the time?... I don’t know, i'm confused or I wouldn’t be writing here lol Advice please...

[Empowerment 4 Life]

I would have to say you hit it on the head when you said you may have to let go of your rigidness. Cool it a little and don't be so wrapped up in how.

I read one time that in my home business I should be so busy with the people who will that I don't have time to focus on the ones who won't.

I apply the same concept to my thoughts. I'm so focused on what I desire my life to be like and I already have it crystal clear in my mind, that I don't have time to worry about the negative thoughts that may creep up!

I believe the more crystal clear you are on your vision the less you will sweat the small stuff and the more you will enjoy the journey.

It's not a destination you're shooting for it's finding that you're enjoying the process along the way.

Just my 2 cents worth.

[Akasha]

Originally Posted by Empowerment 4 Life

I believe the more crystal clear you are on your vision the less you will sweat the small stuff and the more you will enjoy the journey.

It's not a destination you're shooting for it's finding that you're enjoying the process along the way.

Exactly!! Life's a journey! As cliche' as that sounds, it's true. Don't worry about the negative. Just concentrate on the now, and the rest will take care of itself.

[awakentransform]

I think you're on the right track. Just watch your thoughts without giving any energy to them - no fear, no worry. Set aside specific time every day, maybe start out with just 15 minutes, where you imagine what you'd like. Make it very real, be very positive. Have fun with it. Do it consistently until it is easy and then extend the time. Pretty soon it will be a habit to use your mind positively. Also, you can buy or make a tape with affirmations or positive suggestions to listen to while you sleep. Your subconscious will soak it all up.

[bellemeadows]

Originally Posted by DEEJ

Hello all....

I’m attempting to get more 'Control' in my mental world but I have a bit of a contradiction going on....

I've read many spiritual books and an ACT book (Acceptance Commitment therapy) so I often take the mindful stance of watching my mental world as the 'Observer,' 'Defused' and detached from my mental world, allowing thoughts to drift by without entanglement....

However, I also believe that it is important to replace thoughts with more constructive thinking to have a positive influence on the subconscious mind and shape my world and attitudes in a constructive and positive way and a big part of this would be replacing a negative thoughts with a positive counterpart.

I know the importance of not getting into a mental struggle or war with your thoughts because this only energizes them and raises their importance (What you resist persists) and I feel like when I replace negative thoughts I’m fighting an internal battle in a way?

So my dilemma is how do I best shape my perceptions and attitudes, and nurture constructive alternatives to negative thinking without fighting a mental war. It is possible? Maybe I need to let go of my rigidity surrounding this and do whatever feels right at the time?... I don’t know, i'm confused or I wouldn’t be writing here lol Advice please...

For years people have suggested I manage my thinking. I don't really think that 'manage' is a workable description of how to handle thinking, at least not for me.

For me, it feels like thoughts are like waves upon the ocean. They flow out one after another, mostly uninterrupted. If I see one that I want to try to capture, and change, it seems like it just keeps going anyway, and capture and change isn't workable anyway. In fact, by focusing my energy on it, it seems like it is worse.

The acceptance of what is, now that works for me. Never trying to manage my thoughts as thoughts (words repeating in my head) seems to work best.

Whatever at the moment is driving those thoughts, now that I can work with. I accept in fully whatever issue is up; without worrying about even trying to define it or understand it. Just feel it in the body (feel it deeply -- explore it without judgment or constraint -- embrace and enfold it gently as the compassionate, welcoming, witness) without resistence, hear the thoughts in my mind without resistence. Accept it completely, and be with it in a mindful, kind, harmless way. Then let it go, and see what comes up next.

To get stuck trying to manage a thought seems to me very much like trying to capture a wave. You are now dealing with the effect, not a cause; waves are effects not causes. And waves can't be caught, not really. So let them flow, while going in and work with the core issues; beliefs, emotions, accompanying thoughts -- work at total acceptance and then release.

Hope this helps. Belle,

[Lauxa]

Hi Belle, just want to share what has been working for me lately. When a negative thought or emotion arises, I dis-identify from it by thinking "I am not this thought, I am not this emotion" and then try to feel deeply who I am as the awareness beyond said thought or emotion. I gently remind myself that there is no point to resisting what is, and quickly accept the present moment. Thought is not necessary, but the ego wants to think incessantly and protests that it is bored with nothing to think about. Gently, I turn my attention to appreciation and gratitude, asking my mind to notice everything around me that I like or could be grateful for.

So I am not fighting my mind to replace negativity with gratitude. The negative energy naturally dissolves when I disassociate from it, and then the gratitude thoughts are just a pleasant way to pass the time.

[DEEJ]

Originally Posted by bellemeadows

For years people have suggested I manage my thinking. I don't really think that 'manage' is a workable description of how to handle thinking, at least not for me.

For me, it feels like thoughts are like waves upon the ocean. They flow out one after another, mostly uninterrupted. If I see one that I want to try to capture, and change, it seems like it just keeps going anyway, and capture and change isn't workable anyway. In fact, by focusing my energy on it, it seems like it is worse.

The acceptance of what is, now that works for me. Never trying to manage my thoughts as thoughts (words repeating in my head) seems to work best.

Whatever at the moment is driving those thoughts, now that I can work with. I accept in fully whatever issue is up; without worrying about even trying to define it or understand it. Just feel it in the body (feel it deeply -- explore it without judgment or constraint -- embrace and enfold it gently as the compassionate, welcoming, witness) without resistence, hear the thoughts in my mind without resistence. Accept it completely, and be with it in a mindful, kind, harmless way. Then let it go, and see what comes up next.

To get stuck trying to manage a thought seems to me very much like trying to capture a wave. You are now dealing with the effect, not a cause; waves are effects not causes. And waves can't be caught, not really. So let them flow, while going in and work with the core issues; beliefs, emotions, accompanying thoughts -- work at total acceptance and then release.

Hope this helps. Belle,

Thanks for all the relpies... Belle your comments really make sense...

I'm starting to realise that trying hard to control internal thoughts and feelings in the moment never really works and I think its lead to alot of unnecessary anxiety in myself...

[affirmation]

Originally Posted by Akasha

Exactly!! Life's a journey! As cliche' as that sounds, it's true. Don't worry about the negative. Just concentrate on the now, and the rest will take care of itself.

Exactly my point & my theory in life is this : to wish for everything & to expect nothing & then you have nothing to worry about cause everything would be a gift

[Keith]

I had an idea that seems like it should work but haven't yet tried it myself. I'd be interested to hear if anyone else has tried it (or wants to give it a go) and how it went/goes:

1.Figure out what the trigger is for certain thoughts and actions. (For example, maybe every time you go to the cafe to get a coffee you see doughnuts and feel the need to buy one).
2. Using visualisation, mentally rehearse having the response that you want in reaction to the trigger (eg. mentally rehearse going to the cafe to buy a coffee, seeing doughnuts and not being even vaguely interested). Practice having the thoughts you want to have in that situation.
3. Repeat until it sticks.

Again, if anyone gives this a go (or has already) please let me know how it went...

[bellemeadows]

Originally Posted by Lauxa

Hi Belle, just want to share what has been working for me lately. When a negative thought or emotion arises, I dis-identify from it by thinking "I am not this thought, I am not this emotion" and then try to feel deeply who I am as the awareness beyond said thought or emotion. I gently remind myself that there is no point to resisting what is, and quickly accept the present moment. Thought is not necessary, but the ego wants to think incessantly and protests that it is bored with nothing to think about. Gently, I turn my attention to appreciation and gratitude, asking my mind to notice everything around me that I like or could be grateful for.

So I am not fighting my mind to replace negativity with gratitude. The negative energy naturally dissolves when I disassociate from it, and then the gratitude thoughts are just a pleasant way to pass the time.

Wow, I think this is very helpful. Disidentify with the thoughts. Let them flow by; be compassionate with them, but recognize I am more than the thoughts I experience, I am more than the feelings I experience. Don't fight them, just let them pass by gently, and be grateful for what is.

This is really lovely. Thank you!!!!! Belle,

[smartile]

DEEJ,

Something that has been powerful for me is the use of affirmations. Although there are different opinions on whether affirmations work or not, I'm a believer that they do - it just depends how you apply them.

The big secret to using affirmations and changing your thoughts is to use words that change the way you feel.

In my experience, saying: "I'm wealthy and prosperous" makes me feel good so that affirmation will be powerful for me.

If I were to say: "I'm rich and succcessful" it feels like a lie and I get a knot in my stomach.

The bottom line: use an affirmation that feels good.

[awakentransform]

[quote=Keith;197500]I had an idea that seems like it should work but haven't yet tried it myself. I'd be interested to hear if anyone else has tried it (or wants to give it a go) and how it went/goes:

1.Figure out what the trigger is for certain thoughts and actions. (For example, maybe every time you go to the cafe to get a coffee you see doughnuts and feel the need to buy one).
2. Using visualisation, mentally rehearse having the response that you want in reaction to the trigger (eg. mentally rehearse going to the cafe to buy a coffee, seeing doughnuts and not being even vaguely interested). Practice having the thoughts you want to have in that situation.
3. Repeat until it sticks.
QUOTE]

This is a hypnotic technique called skill rehearsal and it does work.

[uberinquisitive]

You may want to read Gary Craig's articles on the "Palace of Possibilities."

Basically, think of your mind as a palace. When you try to make a positive affirmation, you find that your walls are COVERED with negative writing, no thanks to a lifetime of programming by family, society, etc..

GC's hypothesis: negative writing on the wall must first be erased. Then, on a fresh wall, write your affirmation. Otherwise, your affirmations will be ineffective.

Example: an overweight woman sincerely wants to lose weight. However, no matter how hard she tries, she can't stay on a healthy eating plan or exercise consistently. Probably, she has negative thoughts on her walls, which are so large and dark that her affirmations are just no match.

I used to have TONS of negative writing on the wall. I still have quite a lot, but I would say only about 20% are still large and in charge.

Now, affirmations feel different. They often feel "neutral" - there are no "...but" statements following them.

[DEEJ]

Looks good uberinquisitive....