I hate myself.

[The_One_Free_Man]

I'm sick of everything...I don't want to deal with life anymore. I can't stand it..and I feel like I'm going to explode.

I feel as if I want to be somebody else. I see other people, and I say to myself "I want to be that." I want to be that confident, good looking person walking down the street. I hate the way I look, I hate the way I act, and I feel like I'm stuck...there's no way out. I despise the way I look.

I guess that I just want to be that other person that exudes confidence. I want to feel love, but I feel like there is none in my life. My fear is that I'm going to be alone for the rest of my life...and that scares the daylights out of me.

[Radical]

Originally Posted by The_One_Free_Man

I'm sick of everything...I don't want to deal with life anymore. I can't stand it..and I feel like I'm going to explode.

I feel as if I want to be somebody else. I see other people, and I say to myself "I want to be that." I want to be that confident, good looking person walking down the street. I hate the way I look, I hate the way I act, and I feel like I'm stuck...there's no way out. I despise the way I look.

I guess that I just want to be that other person that exudes confidence. I want to feel love, but I feel like there is none in my life. My fear is that I'm going to be alone for the rest of my life...and that scares the daylights out of me.

Look man, you need to get things in to perspective.

Being good looking isn't all that great you know. Some people would say it's a curse more than anything. Just something extra for your ego to get attached to. Also, it makes it harder to talk to people if they are constantly thinking about your good looks.

It sounds to me like the main cause of your dissatisfaction with life is your loneliness. Maybe you should consider seeing a therapist or something, someone who you can talk to face to face. This might help you put things in to perspective. Most people feel like you at some time in their life, you just need to battle through it.

[dorothy hanna]

You are that other person. You are showing it in some of the expressions you wrote. "I want to be..."

These are good things to express. These expressions are something you "want", and can be made manifest in your life.

What, else, was it about that person, that other person, besides confidence, and good looks, that you desire.

You've made it here, so obviously you are on the right path. You've made it. Onto the right path.
Your search/seeking has brought you here.
What are you hoping to find?

Many here, on this forum are willing to help, even if they don't believe in the law of attraction, so to speak. They are none the less looking for answers, and a way, and are willing to try and help you.
We help each other on this forum.
Glad to meet you!

I'm so happy, and glad to meet you.
Tell us more of what you want. What you aspire to.

[fballer11]

I used to be like you, I'm sorry for how you are feeling.
If it helps, the way I got out of that rut was just realizing that if no one is going to respect me, the I just have to learn to be friends with myself.
So I went through a stage of no ego, didn't care what people thought of me, only did things that benefited me.
Then people started liking me, I became more self-confident, and I was a lot more balanced, but it didn't matterbecause all that mattered was being true to myself. Like Steve said, don't try to be like everyone (normal). It gets you nowhere. But also don't strive to be wierd and different just to get attention or something. Be true to yourself. "Throw out dumb labels like normal, just start inside yourself. No one else is going to change the way you think about yourself.

[copla]

Good! You've messed up, and you're fed up with your life.

Now fix it!

Read the books, listen to the seminars, keep a journal, make the changes. Set a major definite purpose, design a Vision of your future and your Ideal future self, and live into that Vision in order that you may become your Ideal. This stuff isn't hard- read the books, listen to the seminars, keep a journal, make the changes- all easy things.

[The_One_Free_Man]

I know...I just feel like I can get nowhere unless I am "good looking" or whatever that means. I feel like the I can't get along because of my looks, when it's probably more of a problem with my confidence. I want to form relationships with people, but I just think that I sound like an idiot when I talk.

[Radical]

How old are you btw?

[placebo]

It is not really a big problem. All of us have that kinds of periods. All you have to do is find Tyler Durden in YOU.

(Whatch "Fight Club" if you don't know who is he)

[shesaboutspirit]

Hey...nothing wrong with good looks, it can open doors at times. It can also keep other doors shut, because people will prejudge you due to good looks. I believe the bottom line is always developing your own inner depth. What do you care about? Even just a little bit. Find something small and grow it the best you can. Get support!!! Here and somewhere in person, if you can. When I was young (not sure how old you are), I took myself to the local Mental Health clinic in my town, and they had a sliding scale for people my age. Help should be available somehow to everyone.

Support is mandatory...I know, I've spent lot's of time in isolation too. Also, finding some way to help somebody else is miraculous for shifting your perspective instantly. Even something small...just smiling at every senior citizen you see tomorrow... It's about giving some small form of love to someone else...and you will feel it coming back instantly. It bounces right back to you...if you pay attention, you'll feel it.

If it fits for your belief system...pray for a new vision for and of yourself and your life. It will work wonders if you open your heart to new possibilities.

Blessings to you...

Pam

[The_One_Free_Man]

I generally don't like telling my age because people can make preconceived ideas about who I am..I'm 16. I can't access help really because I'm in the middle of nowhere in terms of location. Can't drive yet, and the parental units never seem to want to help me. They basically just say "get over it".

[Hsiang-Lin]

Don't "get over it." First, accept 100% responsibility for your situation. This is your life. You are the only one who has these experiences. No matter how crummy or better other people have it, you are unique because you are the only person in your situation.

That is why your mind naturally rejects good advice sometimes because it realizes that the good advice may actually not work for you. This is a good thing. So what this means is you can either give up or you can start creating the life you want. There is no in-between. Giving up is equivalent to living in a state of depression or just going through life allowing things to happen to you.

But creating the life you want means being proactive. Take conscious action to improve your life. You know what I think the most important thing about life is? While I respect people who are highly proactive and have accomplished a lot in life, the most important thing I value is improvement. No matter which level you are. If you make that tiniest of improvement, you are a hero in my eyes.

For example, Rosalie Bradford, who is the fattest woman in the history of the world died very recently. While many may have let this news slip by, her story really inspired me. She was so fat it took her husband 1.5 hours just to give her a bath! And you know how she came on to become the person who would lose the most weight ever? It all started by clapping her hands to an exercise video. That's all she could do because she was so large. But she eventually lost 736 pounds. 736 pounds!!!

She may have been fat on the outside, but I see a beautiful person on the inside. That is the power of the human spirit and we have it in each and everyone of us, YOU included. I don't know what you'll do, but I believe that the spirit is always within you and if you can just muster the courage and energy to listen to just a bit of that inner spirit, you are destined for greatness.

[Victoria]

You will get through it though...I'm having a down spell right now. It's not easy being in college and not finding any people you have a real connection with. Being lonlely is obviously never fun. The "get over it" attitude doesn't seem to be the most understanding or compassionate one to take. I'd suggest just taking a deep breath and deciding what the root cause is. If you tend to overanalyze that's probably not a good idea, though (I learned this the hard way). You could try focusing on one good thing you do, and focus only on that. If people say they haven't been lonely at one time or another, then they're probably lying.

Originally Posted by shesaboutspirit

Also, finding some way to help somebody else is miraculous for shifting your perspective instantly. Even something small...just smiling at every senior citizen you see tomorrow... It's about giving some small form of love to someone else...and you will feel it coming back instantly. It bounces right back to you...if you pay attention, you'll feel it.

I couldn't agree more.

[imhnyc]

I have felt discouraged about my appearance, lack of friends and seemingly no hope of improvement. Thankfully, at some point, I recognized that I while I wasn't at that very moment what I wanted to be - I had all the potential to be what I wanted. It seems cliche but seeing those less fortunate than me is what made me snap out of my negative thought pattern.

My realization came in two parts:

1) I had legs to walk, a mind to think and a good heart to feel. With those things, I could exercise to become physically attractive, I could educate myself so that I could hold a conversation with people and also pursue things that made me happy/excited and I knew what was good vs bad so that I could do the right thing for others.

2)My pride made part 2 difficult to swallow though. Part 2 was that I was basically impatient, lazy and wanted instant gratification. Those traits were holding me back. I had a perfectionist attitude that if I wasn't perfect already why bother at all. Well, I had to be my own coach and force myself to work for progress rather than perfection. But it is an everyday struggle not to allow myself to give up. Many times I give in to self-pity and I have to work through my reasons for doing what I'm doing so that I can get back into a positive mental state. Not easy. But seeing a little success helps to keep me from falling too far.

These realizations only came to me when I was through college. While I don't want to lay on you the typical "you're young and have you're life in front of you" line, I think that fact that you are young should give you hope. If you were to take the next 5 years to transform yourself, you'd be able to enjoy the fruits of your labor at the very exciting age of 21! If you take the time now, value yourself, care for yourself and give of yourself to others, I'm sure you'll be pleased with all you accomplish in time.

I hope you don't feel put off by my comments. I am myself imperfect and have a hard time following my own advice, but I just felt I needed to give you some support, albeit from a stranger.

Best of luck to you.

[shesaboutspirit]

The main reason I think that knowing your age is helpful is because it puts your life in context for the rest of us who want to offer encouragement and support. The advice and feedback will be different for a sixteen year old than an eighty year old. For example, a sixteen year old has to deal with raging hormones that will make your moods feel like a roller coaster...without you having done anything wrong at all. The good news is that those are somewhat temporary...if you're a male anyway. As a woman, I've needed and continue to need to learn coping strategies for this aspect of being human.

The most important thing I can tell you...and you'll find this all over Steve's site... What you focus on is what you will grow.

You can stare at your pain forever and it will keep staring back at you. You can also try looking at something that gives you true joy...like offering unconditional love to the best of your ability to somebody...anybody...and it will grow within you. Do something for someone. Just try it, and you'll see...it begins as a little flicker within. It feels like love, true love. You can grow that my friend.

I've been considered good looking in my life...it's been good and it's been agony. I didn't start developing inner depth until my forties. That means I've been one superficially focused, unhappy woman for most of my life. It didn't start getting good until I began looking at what makes me truly lovely. It's all about heart.

Pam

[Aiox]

The_One_Free_Man -

Dude, being 16 is no picnic, it is one of the toughest times in life, for everyone. Know that probably 95% of your peers have/are dealing with the same issues, I assure you.

>>I feel like I'm going to explode.
Exercise, do something. Walk, run, lift, something. At 16 you're a nuclear furnace of energy, expend it/channel it in some physical activity. Exhaust yourself. Nix the video games and TV. Get outside.

>>I despise the way I look.
What can you change? Work on what you can change, accept that which you cannot. Realize the media sours our feelings of self-worth, in that if we all dont look like Paris Hilton or Brad Pitt, then we're ugly. This is simply unrealistic. We're all different.

>>My fear is that I'm going to be alone for the rest of my life.
Difficult to imagine, but life at 16 is a world away from what you'll be experiencing in years to come.

And really, being alone (glad you said that instead of 'lonely') is something you may come to appreciate. My times being alone now are something I look forward to, to unwind, decompress, etc...

Go a day at a time. Work on yourself, forget everyone else.

Go here and read everything.

[Aiox]

I understand the comment about the DJ Bible. And granted there is a lot of stuff there that is geared towards hooking up.

But there is also a great deal of info on building confidence, working towards feeling comfortable about yourself, improving yourself, improving one's ability to interact with others in a social situation comfortably, etc.

Not suggesting sex as a quick fix at all, and sorry if that was misleading.
I am suggesting self-improvment, and there are many articles there in that vein.

[Andrew Brunelle]

Just be thankful for every second you have on this Earth and strive to make it a better place. Once you start doing that, good looks won't matter. It's the inside that counts, not the outside. Give to others, become an embodiment of kindness and people will be kind to you and hopefully make you feel better about yourself. Maybe that will get you out of this slump you're in.

[Aiox]

Some examples:

How to be happy
To Anyone Who Lacks Confidence
Change your life today
Awakening your social self
The Traps of life
How to Eliminate Desire
Guide to Eating Healthy

[CeciL]

I see your a WoW player. I think you can get something out of Steves latest post "Life - The Ultimate Game" Put down the PC game and step into the game of life. Confidence is only for those that KNOW they have it, if your not sure then you don't have it. Although I'm guessing you have enough confidence in WoW to do whatever you want.

Don't take life so serious, no one ever gets out alive!

[Erki]

WoW is acronym of World of Warcraft, a video game I believe.

[Aiox]

>>permanent and irrevocable at that age doesn't it?
To be sure, yes. I deal with young people frequently in a class I'm in, and it's hard to get across that things will change, you just have to hang in there and do the best you can. It's not your fault.

Not yet an adult, and no longer a child, caught in between, dealing with issues of both.

But there are many things to learn at this time, much to aquire in terms of personal growth and definition, and social interations. These will help define the person to be.

In the end, it is all good, but sometimes it's just hard to see it.

[CeciL]

Yes WoW is World of Warcraft. It is an online PC game where players can interact with enviorments and other players in real time. As addictions go it is the digital equivlent of crack.

[MGJ]

I here what your saying and there's no magic pill. But you can change the focus of your thoughts. It takes practice but its the only thing I've found that is consistent in making permanent changes... no one else is making you think the way you do, except for you. Change your thoughts one day at a time... look at the things you do have that make your life more bearable and expand from there... i.e., at least you have food, some don't.... at least you have a nice warm bed, others would love to have one... etc.... grow this list into bigger things and over time... you will change your outlook on life... it sounds simple, but I challenge you to do it. It DOES work.

[Alvin]

The_One_Free_Man,

Ever seen this guy?



He's definitely not this guy:



But Jack Black has brought delight to thousands of people through his movies and wit. You'd be surprised how many gals would prefer to hang with Jack (not dissing Brad here).

(psst, I don't know any of them sorry but I got the inside scoop from the gals around me)

People are attracted to good-looking people, sure. But what people are really attracted to are attractive people, and that attraction quotient comes from inside; sounds cliche doesn't it? But you can't fake it if you ain't got it.