Can Parents really be like this? I never thought id hate someone this much

[sel206]

My parents have destroyed my life.

I hate my dad. I had my ebay business all set up, just was waiting for a printer to use for printing on CDs to sell my audio books which have resell rights.

My aim was to use the money for this business to fund my debts and my websites and blog.

Dad took away the package in which the printer came as he does not allow me to use computer or internet at home. (I secretly have a laptop with mobile internet).

Now i am stuck. I could be earning money easyly from the audio programs by now, but dads taken the printer! He says if i want it, i have to leave home and do this business outside.

I dont know what to do anymore. I have £2000 debts, 1 step away from clearing it all. I never have felt so much hate inside me. I have never reacted so voilently as to damage walls in my room until yesterday and today.

Right now i just wish i was dead. What is the point. I make up this plan day and night studying and searching. and this guy, comes in and stops. I used up my last bit of money £100 for stock.

[Ree]

Well, you probably don't want to hear this, but if it's your parents' home that you're living in and in which you're planning to operate this business, you really do need to get them on board before you proceed. If it's now too late to get their permission, are you able to move out and have your own place and operate your business from that location? That seems to be your solution.

As for the feelings of hate you are having, that's too bad. These are the people who are providing you with a place to live and perhaps other forms of support. What is your situation? Are you staying with your parents while you are in the process of getting a business started? Are you living at home due to having so much debt? Whatever the situation, it seems that they are being supportive, so your reaction of hate might be a bit strong. This may be one of those times when you need to "count your blessings" and figure out a way to be more independent so you have the freedom to do your own thing.

[carenkh]

So... there's not another printer in the whole world you can use? That was the *only* printer in existence?

I think most times folks decide 'THIS is what I'm going to do', some type of resistance comes up. It appears to be from outside you, but usually, it's mirroring some doubt that you carry. OK - I shouldn't be saying "you", 'cause this is totally about me! But still true, I think. Are you going to let every bump in the road stop you? Or do you have a goal, and you'll achieve it no matter what? The choice is yours.

[bellemeadows]

Why don't you find a partner, and work with them? They can supply the printer, and a place to do your work, and you can share the rewards with them. . . . win wins are always the best solution.

Blessings from Belle,

[sel206]

Thank you Belle. That is a really good point. It gives me an idea of maybe using a friends place as a sort of an office so to speak.


Yes Ree, you are right about that i have to say. I know, i feel even worse because i have no right to say anything when its my parents house anyway, but knowing my dad, when he see's i have something easy, he purposely goes out of his way to make it harder for me. I know his intentions arent bad, but i just was so angry when i wrote this thread. I need to control myself.

Thats why i posted on here, i knew i would find a way. Wow thank you guys so much! I never thought of this i feel stupid for thinking there was no way.

[DayInTheLife]

I know his intentions arent bad, but i just was so angry when i wrote this thread. I need to control myself.

Thats why i posted on here, i knew i would find a way. Wow thank you guys so much! I never thought of this i feel stupid for thinking there was no way.

Anger really gets in the way doesn't it? It sounds like you have a good thing going, with a few sticking points to deal with. You sound resourceful and capable, don't waste your time getting angry. The walls don't deserve it!

[yossarian]

I totally feel where you're coming from in not having as much support from parents as you'd like. My parents are so rich, and my own living costs are so low, that I could live for a month on the money they waste in a week. But they aren't willing to let me take their wasted money, they'd rather throw it in the trash than give it to me. Metaphorically speaking. I used to be so angry at them for this stupid behavior - I'd think, "Life could be so easy if they'd just get a clue."

Anyway I realized that I can't change their stupid behavior and that I shouldn't try to.

It's not the end of the world. I bet you can find a decent enough dayjob to live on and get the thing running during nights. It will take some suffering, some months of being poor, but I bet you'll manage and be far better off in the end.

Ideally you'd have people who support you. Your parents don't. So get over it, accept it, and pull up your bootstraps. You aren't on this Earth to let some meddling ignoramus ( ) get in your way. So move on (and out) and try not to hold a grudge.

What's the worst case scenario? You die. And then your suffering is over. Is that so bad?

[sel206]

Yep i have to control my anger, and calm it down. Been working on it via meditation and hypnosis. I have had great progress but still a bit to go through @ DayInTheLife

yossarian thats so true, i have the same thing. My dad has his own businesses all over and i see wastage in them, and even propose to him if i can solve certain things and save him money, if he will pay me for it. But at the end he always just says i dont have enough experience of "practical" life so then says i am not capable of it.

I have realised those my anger blocks so much more than i thought. Because if i read my first post, its sort of embarassing because my parents have the right to do whatever they want with their business and life, since they helped me so much in every way. Just that we dont understand eachother well.

Ah well. I spoke to mum just earlier and she said dad will be going on a business trip for a month or more, so she will give the printer back to me then. I do feel guilty now, so i am going go applogize to both of them for my burst of anger and lets just say, indecent behaviour. I will have to figure out another way to print off the CDs within this month so when dad gets back, i will be safe still.

I love this forum, its like my gaurdian angel or something. I wonder where i could meet a concentrated amount of people like on here, in public.

[Dan.Linehan]

Originally Posted by sel206

I love this forum, its like my gaurdian angel or something. I wonder where i could meet a concentrated amount of people like on here, in public.

Frisbee golf tournaments, vegetarian festivals and rock climbing gyms.

[m18pak]

sel206, can I ask why your father "does not allow me to use computer or internet at home"?

Only you know what your situation and parents are really like, but I don't really think it's a matter of "my parents have the right to do whatever they want with their business and life". Did you buy the printer with your father's money? because if you didn't then it's your property, your business, and your life.

I understand that I know nothing about your parents, but what I'm trying to say is that parents can be wrong, and most certainly can do wrong. Your anger might be fully justified. After all, they're your parents; they're supposed to provide for you and support you.

[Ecce Homo]

Originally Posted by m18pak

Did you buy the printer with your father's money? because if you didn't then it's your property, your business, and your life.

Not in their house.

Originally Posted by m18pak

After all, they're your parents; they're supposed to provide for you and support you.

That would be nice, but then again, reality is often unkind. (Ok, ultimately speaking not really, but that's how it appears to some, including sel206, so we'll go with it.) So if our parents don't support us in the way we'd like, then we'd better learn to support ourselves, huh? Perhaps this is an opportunity to learn just that. Or, as several have suggested here, perhaps this is life's way of giving sel206 a chance to demonstrate to himself his own problem solving abilities, to find a way out of no way, as it were.

[clementc82]

I'm so sorry to find out about this.

Take 100% responsibility. If he doesn't allow you to do this at home, you can still find your way to do it outside.

It's easier said than done. Only you hold your future in your hands.

[Jennihul]

Obstacles are our friends. They teach us how to prepare for the worst. How to find workarounds. How to think outside the box. How to find good in any situation. How to trust our instincts. How to hone our instincts. How to learn to compromise. How to learn to negotiate. How to respect those upon whom we are dependant. How to learn to never be dependant again.

Should I go on, or are you getting the point?

Jennifer