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Emotional Mastery Emotional intelligence, addiction and recovery, grieving, loss, fear, anger, guilt, resentment, frustration, anxiety, depression, happiness, joy, love, kindness, forgiveness, self-acceptance, confidence, escaping the pit of despair, EFT


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Old 04-28-2008, 09:27 PM
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Default Does love, ever, ever hurt?

... or is the wanting that hurts, wanting things to be other than as they are?

I love someone, a married woman, whom I can't have (naturally, she's married). I see her from time to time, dance with her, smile, silent eyes can say so much.

Many years I have admired her, and it's caused me anguish, but now I no longer obsess over her, and only have tender loving feelings, the non-possive kind, that flow through me, through my heart. I can't think what else that could be, but love. It doesn't hurt me though, far from it, it's nurtures me to feel this energy flow through me.

People say, love hurts, but I disagree; it's the wanting to possess, that hurts. I think with love, there is no give, no take; only to feel it, to let it be, acording to loves' own will.
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Old 04-28-2008, 09:31 PM
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I agree. Love is not pain. Addiction, wanting and attempts to possess others are the cause of the pain we attribute to love. True love does not require anything, it just is. I do believe you can love someone and also feel that "addiction" -- that's why the pain seems to be coming from love itself. If you can separate the two the way you have, you find a peace with love that opens you up to experiencing more of it. And if you are able to recognize and release the addiction, you will be very magnetic to people because of your ability to show them what real love is about.
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Old 04-28-2008, 09:34 PM
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Exactly aspiring, Baby and Bathwater ...

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Old 04-29-2008, 05:15 PM
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That's a great question Jamie.

I say no, love never hurts. Desire hurts, but not love.
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Old 04-29-2008, 05:29 PM
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I believe the purest form of love is "unconditional".

I agree with you about the possesion (attachment to) is the cause of the suffering.
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Old 04-29-2008, 06:12 PM
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I agree. Love is such a misused term, it's hardly even worth using. Does what you feel really need a definition to be what it is?
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Old 04-29-2008, 08:19 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jamie View Post
... or is the wanting that hurts, wanting things to be other than as they are?
When you want people or things to be other than what they are, you are saying a big fat NO to reality. I like what Byron Katie says about it: when you argue with reality, you lose every time. It's a sure recipe for suffering.

Anyway, you are creating what's real in the first place, so you would just be saying NO to yourself. Insanity!
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Old 04-29-2008, 09:28 PM
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Thanks, Jamie. This was a great question, which helped me see.
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Old 05-05-2008, 09:00 PM
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Obsession and suffering hurt.

===

Love itself feels good.
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