depressed feelings,

[mati]

this will be something very sinserius about me that i hvae never told to enyone and might I will never do. (not in perfect english..sorry)

I think Im depressed , and I think that maybe I always have, since I was a kid I was always on a internal fight because I was toos kiny and I dint do anything about it, until I was older, later i felt like I have no friend and not an profound relationship withnoone to talk about real stuff, I always wnated to be a musician, I stilldo but i dont do a lot about that and Im not so concerned about that now, i have never have a girlfriend, I often feel lonely, insecure and unfulfilled, im never happy with myself, im working out, working in an MLM bussines and studying management and bussines administration in a very good college in my country,in southamerica im 20y/o.I think i have very good friends relationship, its something that i dindt have before, but im still feeling lonely, i dont feel like im living at my full potential, im not happy i think i have never been. I have a mess with sleeping, i sometiems dont even sleep, because i have no sleep, but im still tired, almost every day i fell my stomach uncomfortable like a colon problem or something I have being with doctors but they dont have a certaint answer.
Something that I have realize is that Im a little dependant about achieve things, If I dont achieve them i become more stressed and sad. and I havent complete a lot of my dreams and goals, so..
but i cant stop thinking about waiting until next month because i will recieve some money from the MLM bussines and use it to get into the silva method course. I once went to a free presentation and I liked it , it will help me relax, sleep well, at least that will be great if its true.
I always listen to tony robins, Stephen covey, paul mckenna, those guys trying to have an answer. im a lot better person since I was before, I think Im growing but not getting great or more happy.it always makes me happy the idea of going somewhere far, alone.(something that i did 2 summer ago when I went to nevada to work in a casino for my summer vacations, I went alone and I made a lot of friends, was quite an experience for me, but thats not the topic for now)
I feel a little loss, if you have something to say about this it will be apreciated.

[Taikin]

Although you seem to be doing a lot externally to remedy your problems, it sounds like the overriding ones are internal, such as the depression and loneliness.
This may sound obvious, but have you been to a doctor specifically about the feeling of depression? It could be chemical, especially if you feel you've always been depressed, despite all your efforts to change your circumstances so you don't have cause to feel down.

[shnu]

First, check your symptoms against a list of symptoms of depression. Wikipedia's article on Clinical Depression is rather good. You list some of these symptoms: if you have five or so more, you should seek medical advice without delay.

Second, it sounds as if you are someone who drives yourself. This is good when you can keep things together, but it can screw things up when things don't go so well. Autogenic training is a well-tested technique that helps create some personal space, is easy to do, and it has good clinical results against exactly the symptoms you describe.

I hesitate to recommend materials in English, so I'm posting a story here: Autogenic training: recommendations sought. Is your native language Spanish?

[jonarmis]

Hi Mati,

It will help if you divert your attention to something better. So that you will not sulk and entertain negative and depressed feelings.

I just watched this nice video, it may help:
Click here

Best,
JA

[Tigerlilly]

Hi mati,

I'm always resisting to give the advice to go for medical treatment when someone tells me he's feeling depressed, unless his energy has already gone down the drain so much that meds are the only thing to have him survive long enough to give him the time he needs to change.

I don't believe in meds as a lasting cure for depression, never have and probably never will. If you're unhappy, your emotions are triggered by your thoughts. You think consciously or subconsciously everytime before you have an emotion. The release of chemicals in your body that make you feel one way or the other is just an answer to such a conscious or subconscious impulse.

To really acchieve a lasting change without meds you need to change your thoughts down to your subconsciousness, that takes self awareness and working on yourself. Note, working on your self, not the surrounding circumstances, those will change automatically as you yourself change.

When the psyche is dealing with a problem, the whole body is affected naturally. Meds just patch up the symptons, they don't attack the roots.

I do know how you feel, I suffered through severe depression when I was in my late teens and later on and I'm still prey to amazing mood swings. I know how it feels not having the energy even to get up, and your whole body hurts and every single step seems to take an incredible amount of energy. Actually I believe there isn't a rotten feeling or emotional state on earth I haven't been through one way or the other.

I believe you're on the right path filling your life with the works of positive minded people, I've been doing it for years, and it did help me to put my mind on a better track. Like only recently I read the smart advice that in the beginning you might not be able to stop the negative thoughts from coming, but that you can keep from entertaining them. I thought that was pretty good advice, cause one does tend to entertain negative thoughts, really giving a sort of house party for them, so after one knocks, even more and more show up.

To have an inner attitude down to your subconsciousness that says Yes! to life and energizes you, for a long time you need to keep practising, like working out your mind. And I bet it's a good idea to fill your life with people who are also seeking to change their lives for the better. You're really never ever alone out there.

And another good advice I came across is: Follow your bliss, do what makes you happy. Like if it makes you happy to go to some far away place alone, then do that. Focus on doing that, see yourself wherever you want to be and don't listen to any inner voices that sound like Waldorf&Stettler. If you still have desires, your depression isn't as bad as it can be. Follow those desires and they'll take you upwards. I do believe we somehow know intuitively what's best for us, if we just allow ourselves to follow our inner guidance.

So in that spirit all said above ist just my pov, it's not dogma or anything. In the end you're the very best expert out there on yourself and your life.

P.S. I think it's pretty neat you went to Nevada to work at a casino for the summer holidays.

[shnu]

Originally Posted by Tigerlilly

I don't believe in meds as a lasting cure for depression, never have and probably never will.

Except in a few cases, such as bipolar disorder (hey, that's me!), I agree with this: medication is a short-term lifeline. It is irresponsible to prescribe anti-depressants without prescribing supporting therapies (eg. meditation, psychotherapy).

I look back over mati's OP, and I see much more sign of positive energy than is really consistent with what I know of clinical depression. It sounds more like a life out of balance, than one where the neural underpinnings have given way.

Originally Posted by Tigerlilly

If you're unhappy, your emotions are triggered by your thoughts. You think consciously or subconsciously everytime before you have an emotion. The release of chemicals in your body that make you feel one way or the other is just an answer to such a conscious or subconscious impulse.

This isn't always the whole story, since there is more to the body than is contained in the mind. If one breaks one's leg, it isn't just dismay that's the cause of getting around slower.

[axelg]

Hello!

When a person is lonely, it is natural to feel unhappy. There is nothing wrong with you. It is common to feel depressed. Many people are depressed.

Relaxation will help you relax your body and mind. It can help you a lot.

I recommend that you talk to someone about your feelings and your situation. This will make you feel much better.

Good luck!

[mati]

thanks for your advises I will take some of them.
I dont believe in medical healing about depression, I know everything came from the thoughts, but there is soething that I allways wonder: achieve your goals is something that we all want , but what if we dont achieve them? how to keep happy?, is it really possible? I know the answer is yes but, is it wrong to be unhappy? maybe not, but maybe Im too driven to achieve goals and maybe I dont do all what it takes to achieve them, thinking this way makes me go a little further, but not achiving the goals keep hurting , until you wanna give up, Im in that state, but I know that I wont give up.. i know that, but its feeling like i will never live happy, i dont feel free, i dont feel things flow as they should..

ps: shnu:my native lenguage is spanish(if someone needs help translating something in spanish I can help).
tigerlilly: and i wanna go to hawaii this summer to do the same (thinking about this makes me more happy, but I think maybe this is a way of scaping reality and the problem is not solved)