How do I abate depression

[Vee]

I've always been a pretty positive person. But recently this is all changing and I am scared.

Firstly, I feel so much anger and resentment towards people that I've never felt before. I feel like pushing people or hitting people to make myself feel better. When I hear about people dying on the tele I s/t feel genuinely glad. I know this bad energy is only damaging me but i can't get rid of it.

I also find it hard to do activities. I can't concentrate on tele anymore and I can't bring myself to read a book when I used to be a voracious reader. Ironically, I do go out socially s/t and do my job well and I've started volunteering and enrolling in classes in the evening. But i feel so detached from it all - on the outside I am smiling and happy to people. But I feel like I am watching a stranger cos I don't feel that at all inside. I'm faking it and i don't know how much longer I can do it.

This may stem from me really wanting a relationship - I've been single for a number of years and never really minded but it's all got to me suddenly. I can't even bear to hear the word relationship or couple anymore. And part of the reason I stopped watching tele is I couldn't bear seeing happy couples on it?! I feel I need a relationship in the way someone feels when it is time to move jobs but it's not happening.

I know the key to success is being happy and detach - but i just can't at the moment. There were numerous periods over the last couple of years where I was happy and comfy and those unexpected moments didn't happen - so what should i do?

I am getting out there and getting on with it - if I want to see a film or eat out - I go alone. I pamper myself with regular facials and nail jobs to keep my spirits up. I've went on holiday alone last year - but it's all getting to me now. I don't wanna be alone for ever.

I am scared because I know losing interest in things you love are the first signs of depression and this is happening - albeit slowly but i don't know if it is the first signs - every time i pick up a book now i stop after the first few chapters cos it's too hard when i used to be able to get through a book in a week on average.

And when I go out socially ie. classes, volunteering I feel like i'm not really there. I feel like an actor cos really i want to scream at the people and beg them to help me and cry.

I keep on buying LOA books, make vision boards, visualize, I've tried reiki and psychics etc. but it's not helping at the mo.

How can I get out of this pit - i don't wanna get depressed.

[elisabeth]

Hi Vee,

Finding your way out of the hole that is depression or the blues can be tough, especially if the outside conditions that are feeding them aren't changing.

But here are a few things I found helpful:

For starters, since the lack of the relationship is what seems to bring this on: Have you checked out Margaret McCraw's book "Tune into Love"? Here's the link at Amazon:
Amazon.com: Tune Into Love: Attract Romance through the Power of Vibrational Matching: Books

I really like it. Easy read, very encouraging. And using the LOA in a very hands-on way.

About LOA: I can see how sometimes it can be daunting and almost backfire when it's focused on too much. After all, it says what we think about, we attract, so when we think negative thoughts, it can make things even worse. We worry about what we worry about, and then we worry about the fact that we're worried about it, etc. Ouch!

The thing that helps ME a lot with this is Abraham's "Working your way up the emotional scale" exercises (the new books are almost all about those). The most detailed one is "The Amazing Power of Deliberate Intent", and on a less elaborate scale per exercise but broader range of issues, there's "The Astonishing Power of Emotions."

Also things like Bach Flower Remedies help over time, as well as EFT, going for walks in nature (or at least the park), oh, and chocolate ;-)

It sounds like you're already doing a lot of the right kinds of things, so maybe adding a few other tools, including the emotional scale exercises that work because they acknowledge that it's really not possible to go from depression to bliss instantly and work with that rather than against it, will help.

Good luck.

[Jennihul]

What else has changed?

Diet? Lose or gain a new friend with good or bad vibes? Feel envious of someone else?

Everyone has their "dark night of the soul" events periodically throught their lives.

Is wanting a relationship a reason to give up your joy? Is wanting ANYTHING worth that?

You realize you nearly eliminate your chances of getting a relationship by giving up your joy, I'm sure.

Any advice we give is meaningless, in the long run. You know that you will have to basically decide that it is time to return to your joy. How long you suffer will be entirely up to you.

Jennifer

[Vee]

Yes I know only I can make myself happy. I can't get a magic answer on this board.

I haven't lost my joy completely but i feel it slipping away and I feel powerless. The frustrating thing is i can feel what will make me happy but its not happening.

All it would take is one of my big manifestations to enter my reality and i know i could ride of that high feeling and create abundance in my life. I'm constantly pleading for the change at the moment instead of feeling good, visualizing etc. cos i feel desperate.

Thank you for the book suggestion but i can't face to read another book on LOA, positive thinking etc. - I am not snubbing your help it is appreciated but i've read so many i have a whole cupboard full.

I will just get out there I suppose. I am going to do something every evening - dance classes, music lessons, etc. so i don't go mad. It'll be hard cos inside i feel numb/cold but what else can I do?

I might even leave the boards for a while - i may still read but i don't think i'll post. I want to see myself coming back in a couple of months writing about my successful manifestations and joy and maybe start to help other people who post.

Thanks

[Chado2423]

Are you depressed already, and not wanting to admit it to yourself? Or do you just want to guard yourself from becoming depressed?


Depression is.... just a phase
....a curable disease
....an epidemic
....a mood disorder

By the way, Depression means different things to different people. And even the doctors argue. There are many types of depression. I myself have clinical depression, which is so misunderstood already, even the professionals admit they don't know all about my condition. I take anti-depressants at night, but I still feel the same constantly. I've tried so many different types of therapy, and medications, and nothing has worked for me personally, other than trying.

Clinical depression is an illness like diabetes or cancer - it's not laziness or just feeling blue. It clouds your whole world - robs you of energy, motivation - causes extreme mental anguish. I'd personally gladly take physical pain over it anyday. But just because it is all that - that does not mean I give up - if I were to give up I'd be dead quite frankly.If I could snap out of it - I SURELY would have by now - TRUST ME. One wouldn't tell someone with cancer to snap out of it? There is a huge stigma against people with mental illness and that is saddening. Medications and therapy help people tremendously - however, I do not advocate simply popping pills to rid oneself of depression.For many more - it does not. Millions of Americans suffer from depression even while taking a medication. Unfortunately, our understanding of how the brain works is in its infancy and hopefully one day - like on Star Trek - we'll have doctor's simply attach a cortical stimulator to our heads to fix the imbalance of neurhormones, etc. But until then I do the best I can with what I've got. I go to therapy. I take medication, even though I don't think it's working well. This does not mean there is no hope for you. There is more than likely hope for both of us.

[Vee]

I want to guard myself from depressions.

I am trying though. I went out and had a facial in the morning and had a meal in a restaurant on my own. I thought I should stay out and go shopping but that upsets me - i don't need more things. I need experiences with people.

When I got home i felt so bad i just slept all day.

I just managed to get out of bed and by some dinner and a weird synchronicity happened. I went to a new restaurant and i asked the lady how she got the name and she said - "I asked the universe. If you ask the universe you'll get the answer"

lol! so I suppose the universe is trying to talk to me - i just wish it'd do something concrete.

I'm going online to book courses now for next week - it'll cost money but i trust the universe to work something out for me.

[andyoyo]

Depressions good, its telling you something. Just make sure to listen

[Vee]

Originally Posted by andyoyo

Depressions good, its telling you something. Just make sure to listen

I know it's telling me something. It's telling me i'm lonely and i need friends and a partner. But i can't just buy them or go to a shop for them - i don't know what i meant to do.

[The Cloud]

Originally Posted by Vee

I know it's telling me something. It's telling me i'm lonely and i need friends and a partner. But i can't just buy them or go to a shop for them - i don't know what i meant to do.

Or maybe it's telling you that needing friends and a partner is what is making you miserable. If it hurts to want it, why want it?

[Vee]

Originally Posted by The Cloud

Or maybe it's telling you that needing friends and a partner is what is making you miserable. If it hurts to want it, why want it?

Cos I can't deny my feelings. When I'm hungry for example I might be able to manage it for a while - but it won't go away and eventually it'll get too much and i'll need to eat.

And it's something that has crept up on me suddenly - i am quite independent - i can eat out alone, go to the cinema etc. it doesn't phase me. But sometimes i want someone to share the experience with.

In a way I am doing what you suggest at the moment - i go out there and just do stuff on my own - but recently it feels fake. I try and tell myself i don't need friends to have fun - and i don't a lot of the time - but for certain activities its better with other people like the cinema, holiday and sometimes you need other people like going out to a club or having sex.

I know time is meant to be an illusion but i do feel my life is being wasted sitting here waiting for the universe to help me. Cos it's nearly summer now and nothing concrete is happening.

I suppose all i can do is keep on going out there on my own and pampering myself. But i'm scared of slipping - at home i can't concentrate. I've started to shake nervously and dig my nails into my skin. Reading or films/tele used to occupy me but i've lost all motivation for it at the moment so i just sleep must of the time or cry.

[Jennihul]

Originally Posted by Vee

All it would take is one of my big manifestations to enter my reality and i know i could ride of that high feeling and create abundance in my life. I'm constantly pleading for the change at the moment instead of feeling good, visualizing etc. cos i feel desperate.

THIS is why you are failing. The key.

If you need a manifestation to be happy, it will laugh at you and walk away. Only happy people manifest happy things.

Constantly pleading is desperation. Desperate people manifest more reasons to be desperate. You are literally digging your own mood grave.

The law of attraction books should come with a blood test. You stick your finger and put a drop of blood on the slide and place it in the book. It tells you if you have enough joy in your gas tank to even bother reading and learning about LOA.

This knowledge works and is a blessing for those that do not need it and a weapon of one's own destruction if you do need it. The paradox of LOA.

Definitely not to be trifled with. People with any degree of mental instability should not touch it.

Jennifer

[Vee]

Originally Posted by Jennihul

THIS is why you are failing. The key.

If you need a manifestation to be happy, it will laugh at you and walk away. Only happy people manifest happy things.

Constantly pleading is desperation. Desperate people manifest more reasons to be desperate. You are literally digging your own mood grave.

The law of attraction books should come with a blood test. You stick your finger and put a drop of blood on the slide and place it in the book. It tells you if you have enough joy in your gas tank to even bother reading and learning about LOA.

This knowledge works and is a blessing for those that do not need it and a weapon of one's own destruction if you do need it. The paradox of LOA

Definitely not to be trifled with. People with any degree of mental instability should not touch it.

Jennifer

Then why do people manifest if it isn't to make them happy?! It's like I'm supposed to not want anything to make me happy - how can that be? Am I supposed to go through life not needing or wanting anything then? Am I meant to be cold? Isn't passion what drives the world - a passion for food or music or life?

i know all in life is fleeting. And i understand that having a partner or friends won't make be the ultimate cure to my happiness. People leave, things change etc. But does that mean i should just sit at home then and never want to be friends with anyone because of this?

And i know pleading is desperation but i don't know what else to do. I've waited for so long and it feels like the universe is not on my side. Can't i just open myself up to the universe and ask for help sometimes?

It's a catch 22. For example A child is born into a negative environment (this isn't me just an example) so they'll have negative thoughts and attract more negative things into there life because of this. And it's a trap because to attract positive things you need to be already positive. But if a few positive things happened to this person from outside themselves maybe they could latch onto this and keep the flow.

So that's why i want a few manifestations to make me happy - then i could reverse the cycle.

[Rose of Cairo]

Originally Posted by Chado2423

I've tried so many different types of therapy, and medications, and nothing has worked for me personally, other than trying.

So? And have you tried what I told you, Chad?

[Jennihul]

[quote]

Originally Posted by Vee

Then why do people manifest if it isn't to make them happy?! It's like I'm supposed to not want anything to make me happy - how can that be? Am I supposed to go through life not needing or wanting anything then? Am I meant to be cold? Isn't passion what drives the world - a passion for food or music or life?

People who don't know what they are doing TRY to manifest to make themselves happy, to be sure. Because they are ignorant of the fact that happiness is an emotion and cannot possibly come from outside one's self.

The real purpose of the law of attraction is to learn to receive for the sake of sharing. If it's all about you, eventually you will have to pay the karmic piper.

i know all in life is fleeting. And i understand that having a partner or friends won't make be the ultimate cure to my happiness. People leave, things change etc. But does that mean i should just sit at home then and never want to be friends with anyone because of this?

You have to be happy already for those things to come into your life, Vee. Do you think friends and partners will ever look at a depressed, bummed person? They will run the other way. Fast. The happiness comes from within you. Never ever ever from outside sources. Don't make the mistake of thinking that if I get A, I can finally be happy. It just doesn't work that way.

And i know pleading is desperation but i don't know what else to do. I've waited for so long and it feels like the universe is not on my side. Can't i just open myself up to the universe and ask for help sometimes?

It all comes from within you. Ask yourself for help. God is not "out there" like we were erroneously led to belive for the last 2000 years. God is you, inside you, your soul, it all comes from inside you. You have cultivated a field inside your soul using seeds of negativity, loneliness and depression. Why are you surprised you are harvesting a crop made up of negativity, loneliness and depression?

It's a catch 22. For example A child is born into a negative environment (this isn't me just an example) so they'll have negative thoughts and attract more negative things into there life because of this. And it's a trap because to attract positive things you need to be already positive. But if a few positive things happened to this person from outside themselves maybe they could latch onto this and keep the flow.

Welcome to the paradox. Emotion is the language of the law of attraction. It only knows one thing: to give. If you speak "depressed" to it, it says "oh she wants depressed!" and it gives you things that correspond to depressed. If you speak "happy" to it, it says: "Oh she wants happy!" and it gives you things that correspond to "happy."

Why don't you forget about the law of attraction until you are able to use it from the proper mindset? You need to cure your depression and you simply cannot use the law of attraction that way. It's like trying to use a hammer to pull a splinter from a baby's finger. Wrong tool for your problem.


People can ask for help with depression. But ask a professional human. Not a power that feeds directly off your emotions and only knows to give you more of that emotion.

You are walking a dangerous path. Please, seek help.

Jennifer

[Vee]

Thanks Jennifer.

But aren't emotions also a guide? I believe my feelings of frustration and anger are telling me my current life situation is making me unhappy and i have to change it. I know deep down something isn't right.

I have been happy on my own for a long while but suddenly this has changed because i believe i need intimacy and companionship at this stage in my life. I just have to work out where to find it.

Maybe on reflection it isn't depression because i still have a lot of hope and periods of happiness throughout my day. I just feel a lot of underlying stress and agitation and i can't fully commit to something cos this want is constantly in the back of my mind. I am scared I will be in this position this time next year and I don't know if I can cope with that.

I think you are right. LOA won't work for me at the moment because I feel blocked. But I believe there are angel and spirit guides who can assist me so i will pray to them and ask them to help me harvest a crop of abundance, prosperity and positivity in all areas of my life x



[quote=Jennihul;178787]

People who don't know what they are doing TRY to manifest to make themselves happy, to be sure. Because they are ignorant of the fact that happiness is an emotion and cannot possibly come from outside one's self.

The real purpose of the law of attraction is to learn to receive for the sake of sharing. If it's all about you, eventually you will have to pay the karmic piper.




You have to be happy already for those things to come into your life, Vee. Do you think friends and partners will ever look at a depressed, bummed person? They will run the other way. Fast. The happiness comes from within you. Never ever ever from outside sources. Don't make the mistake of thinking that if I get A, I can finally be happy. It just doesn't work that way.



It all comes from within you. Ask yourself for help. God is not "out there" like we were erroneously led to belive for the last 2000 years. God is you, inside you, your soul, it all comes from inside you. You have cultivated a field inside your soul using seeds of negativity, loneliness and depression. Why are you surprised you are harvesting a crop made up of negativity, loneliness and depression?




Welcome to the paradox. Emotion is the language of the law of attraction. It only knows one thing: to give. If you speak "depressed" to it, it says "oh she wants depressed!" and it gives you things that correspond to depressed. If you speak "happy" to it, it says: "Oh she wants happy!" and it gives you things that correspond to "happy."

Why don't you forget about the law of attraction until you are able to use it from the proper mindset? You need to cure your depression and you simply cannot use the law of attraction that way. It's like trying to use a hammer to pull a splinter from a baby's finger. Wrong tool for your problem.


People can ask for help with depression. But ask a professional human. Not a power that feeds directly off your emotions and only knows to give you more of that emotion.

You are walking a dangerous path. Please, seek help.

Jennifer

[torilink]

Originally Posted by Vee

Then why do people manifest if it isn't to make them happy?! It's like I'm supposed to not want anything to make me happy - how can that be? Am I supposed to go through life not needing or wanting anything then? Am I meant to be cold? Isn't passion what drives the world - a passion for food or music or life?

i know all in life is fleeting. And i understand that having a partner or friends won't make be the ultimate cure to my happiness. People leave, things change etc. But does that mean i should just sit at home then and never want to be friends with anyone because of this?

And i know pleading is desperation but i don't know what else to do. I've waited for so long and it feels like the universe is not on my side. Can't i just open myself up to the universe and ask for help sometimes?

It's a catch 22. For example A child is born into a negative environment (this isn't me just an example) so they'll have negative thoughts and attract more negative things into there life because of this. And it's a trap because to attract positive things you need to be already positive. But if a few positive things happened to this person from outside themselves maybe they could latch onto this and keep the flow.

So that's why i want a few manifestations to make me happy - then i could reverse the cycle.

Nothing outside the self will make you happy or unhappy. It is your thoughts and perceptions about those things you see outside yourself that cause you to feel happy or unhappy. totally internal processes.

Even if you met the perfect mate tomorrow - next year you'd be just as unhappy because that little nagging voice inside your head wouldn't have shut off - it would just be thinking negative thoughts about something else.

I'm hearing lots of "Should's" from you - that inner voice those thoughts rising in your mind telling you what you should feel, how you should be, who you should be with.... and on and on.

the only way to get out of the funk is to either tune out those thoughts or change them completely.

If you are at a point where you can hear those thoughts rise in your mind and yet feel separate enough to say to yourself "Hey there are those negative thoughts again" then you are conscious enough to change them or tune them out completely.

Your thoughts will always rise, sometimes blathering on with such negative nonsense that if we believe them, we get sucked into the whole process and believe we are the thoughts and that those thoughts are truth. They aren't truth, just past conditioning - all of your "Past" judgments, experiences, observances, and so on which formed internal belief systems - most of which probably aren't even true for you now.

the only truth is that right now - things are as they are and it is neither good nor bad, right or wrong - it just is.

Watch the thoughts as they enter your mind - listen to them as you would listen to a conversation between two people in your outer world. Listen, let go, listen, let go - there is no way anything is supposed to be other than how you truly desire it to be...., but before that desire can manifest you must see that your thoughts are separate from your true self -

then you can begin to free yourself from the trap of should & could and focus on desires.

[bellemeadows]

Originally Posted by Vee

I know the key to success is being happy and detach - but i just can't at the moment. There were numerous periods over the last couple of years where I was happy and comfy and those unexpected moments didn't happen - so what should i do? . . . .

How can I get out of this pit - i don't wanna get depressed.

Here is the bottom-line secret about happiness; happiness is not a response to what happens out there -- happiness is a choice, pure and simple. So if you want to be happy, choose to be happy. If you choose happiness enough, you will be happy pretty much all the time, whether you get what you want or not.

It seems so simple, and yet it is true in every sense. So, choose today whether you will be happy or not. Count your blessings, perhaps; do you have clothes to wear? Do you have a home to live in? Do you have enough food to eat? Many in the world are happy, and have none of these things. How can they be happy with nothing, and you be unhappy with so much? I guess they choose happiness.

Most of us from Western European cultures have been marketed to our entire lives. Marketers teach us we must have something more to be happy, a new and bigger car, better job, nicer house, more attractive spouse. So we are taught to be needy from a very young age. The thing is, it is a lie. You don't need any of those things to be happy, and many people with all the success in the world are still not happy.

So choose today, choose every moment. Find those things to think about that increase your joy; pet a dog, bake cookies, whatever works for you, and choose happiness. Where's the downside?

You might ask yourself the Q, iIf you are not choosing happiness, why not?

You know, if you got a lover and were unhappy (and believe me, one can be just as unhappy in a relationship as out -- perhaps more so), you'd have a lover and still be unhappy. Why wait until that time comes, just choose happiness now.

If you are looking for supportive evidence, there are books out there about the fact that happiness is a choice people make, and that people who choose happiness are happier. There may be some skills to be learned about making that choice that can be picked up from books, I don't know, but I have seen the books out there. . . . Anyway, I choose happiness today and just don't see any downside to that choice. Why don't you consider making that choice too?

Blessings from Belle