just want to be normal someday...

[sarahsarahsarah11]

I become social... and then all of a sudden I'm not and I seem like such a reject... I feel like my friends like my older siblings more than they like me... they like me... but sometimes I'm open and friendly and then other times I just close up....

The law of attraction says that whatever you focus on is what you get, and I find that whenever I focus on friends nad people and friendships then it seems to go away from me, and then whenever I have the belief "no one likes me, and that's okay" then people seem to want to hang out with me..

I don't get it... I'm so confused...

how do I be less attached??? less clingy?? less needy??? without becoming negative and self-bashing ("I'm such a horrible person no one would ever like me")

i just want to be normal... I just want to find myself... I just want to be myself... I'm tired of meditating... and maintaining gratitude... I take up so much energy trying to maintain an attitude of gratitude and I feel grateful, but then I'm like uncommunicative and I'm just mute... I don't want to be this way anymore... I really want some help... I just want to be consistently at peace and joyful, and peaceful... I don't know what to do... I've read so much self-help stuff and done a bunch of stuff...

I guess I desperately don't want to be alone... I don't konw how to deal with that... I want to be okay with being alone... Should I just be okay with it... I'm not really alone either........

Everything's conflicting and everything's just so upsetting... and I just want to get past all of this... I just want to be okay.. and normal.. and not messed up... and not unhappy... and not trying so hard to "maintain an attitude of gratitude" that Im like using up my energy in resistance... how do I deal with negativity... am I supposed to resist it or am I supposed to accept it... if I accept it, aren't I focusing on it??? Aren't I then activating the law of attraction and saying, "bring more of this to me?" Who lieks to be around a negative person anyway??? If I accept the negativity, won't I just be negative?

[The Cloud]

Forget the Law of Attraction, and make up your own law. Techniques don't work, at least not when they are somebody else's.

You are confusing the words "maintain an attitude of gratitude" with the actual state that it is supposed to engender. You're so focused on the effect of the words that you have no idea how to actually generate the cause. You can't force yourself to feel anything, feelings are not something you can directly control.

So instead of maintaining "an attitude of gratitude," find what attitude it is that you want to maintain. No matter what it's called, no matter what words are put to it, that doesn't change the feeling. The feeling is more important that the words, and in fact can exist independent of them. But without the feeling, the words are empty and hollow, meaningless and purposeless.

Forget about whatever name you want to put to it, let go of your attitude of gratitude, and find an attitude that really means something to you.

[help4me]

you said

"no one likes me, and that's okay" then people seem to want to hang out with me..

That right there is the key. No one else is responsible for your happiness. Only you. When you indulge in the thoughts of " they make me so angry" or "they make me so happy"... you give others power over you and make them responsible for you. How is that fair to anyone? No one can MAKE you angry or happy if don't allow them. Do a google search for "The Fish Philosophy." Granted it's a designed more for businesses and customer relations, but one point in particular is "Choose Your Attitude". I use that in my daily life. It's kind of like being really happy and then perhaps someone cuts you off in traffic, yet their actions don't spoil your good mood. You are choosing not to allow the actions of others to influence you. When "bad" things happen, mentally step back and ask yourself "how do I want to "respond" to this?" Act not RE-act. Once you can maintain that, once you reclaim your power over yourself, then you will find more of the peace that you long for.

[Spartan]

You sound pretty normal to me.