Shyness isn't the worst thing!

[oldbiker]

hi guys,
i have a weird mixture of shyness and lack of confidence. I am pretty frustrated because i dont seem to have the ability to communicate properly with people. ok, dont get me wrong, im attending college course and every thing is fine. but my problem is that i have troubles dealing with people. i always ask myself, why me? why me of all people around me? i feel that im different. when i speak to somebody i cant have a successful conversation with him/her. i dont have any friends and its hard for me to make any. i dont know im totally frustrated. im 19 but i cant enjoy life as normal people because of my shyness and lack of experience. i hope u guys have some good advice for me. its really bad to have this kind of problems at my age its kinda real suffering.. im planning to work when i finish college in a couple of weeks but other than that i dont have any thing in my list i dont even have a list. seems like im killig my time without any purpose or success.

[sweetmotion]

I understand the feeling.

I know I can communicate with people but with strangers It's hard. I don't know what to say and I feel weird. I know now that it's the toughts in my head that I have to change.
I have difficulty making new friends because of it. I hated going to university because of this problem. Having to talk to strangers and not knowing what to say.

[The Cloud]

Why is it that you are so shy and unconfident? What thoughts go through your head when you are in situations where these things are issues?

[oldbiker]

Originally Posted by The Cloud

Why is it that you are so shy and unconfident? What thoughts go through your head when you are in situations where these things are issues?

some times i feel that new people im talking to will shortly realize my real personality i mean they can feel my problem and that make me feel worse. its the conversation that i cant handle. i dont know what is proper to say, i8n which tone, or if what im gonna say is funny to listen or boring or doesnt fit me
or the situation.
its my belief that something related to my early past has to do with this. i mean my childhood. my parents were so concerned about my safety they would n't let me play with peers, and they filled my brain with all that crappy thing: dont talk to strangers, some people are dangerous...
and u know what, it had led me to some weird kind of complex, a cant enjoy being with people, and i feel down deep inside me that im not willing to have friends.. may be im afraid of.. i dont know.. with that being said, i think people dont seem to enjoy being with me too...

[The Cloud]

Why are you afraid that you don't want friends? And why do you feel that your parents are to blame?

[oldbiker]

because as i said they kinda hurt me. i hope they had given me something more useful than just warning me and fill my mind with all that crappy thing.

[The Cloud]

Do you feel that they were trying to hurt you? If they were, why? If they weren't, why do you feel that they did what they did?