Overcoming Fear

[-YK-]

Looking at the threads on depression and inferiority complex reminded me on my own problem- Fear. Its a general fear on unknown, authority, speaking up etc. Much effort and time has been spent to try to overcome it.

I have seen psychiatrist but medicine produced more side effects then relief. I see psychologist but counseling provided only temporary comfort. I read books but did not really find effective solution. When I learned that fear may have its origin in past lives, I tried past life regression through hypnosis but I could not really see much into the past. I also tried to understand life better by volunteering in a hospice for several months, hopefully to help my condition.

Looking at spiritual aspect, fear has a meaning to me. It has brought me along the spiritual path. I have also learned empahty, to be sensitive to others, to be caring person. and true forgiveness. People said that once you learned your lesson, you "graduate" and your problem will be gone. But not exactly for me.

Recently I got to know this affirmation prayers which I practise diligently everyday. Healing Original Cause Part 1
For once in my life, I feel things move in the right direction and I am actually getting better! Also, my pace in the spiritual path has quicken too.

I come to accept that everything has a timing of its own. When the right time comes, you will receive right teaching to solve your problem

[Michael Chui]

Originally Posted by -YK-

I also tried to understand life better by volunteering in a hospice for several months, hopefully to help my condition.

You have a list of all this stuff that didn't work too well, but you said nothing about this one. How'd that turn out? I'm of the opinion that doing something that's a positive contribution, compensated or not, helps with fear; so, I'm curious to see how working at a hospice was for you.

[mind-energy]

It looks to me that you don't have a "general" fear but a multitude of different fears (and you named a few). In my opinion, going to a psychatrist should be your last resolve. You might want to try to learn more about EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) that can have lots of success on eliminatingt different fears from your life. It's very easy to apply but very effective.

You can read more about EFT at:
Emotional Freedom Techniques - EFT

[Minishark]

I feel a little embarrassed admitting this, but when I'm afraid of something, I think of Batman. Then I grow a pair of balls, stop being a wuss, and face my fears head on.

[-YK-]

Working in a hospice has been an enriching experience. I thought that by understanding dying, I would understand life better and hopefully the new understanding would transcend my fear.

Helping the dying, I learned a lot about life. But the new perspective did not last long to help eliminating my fear. Anyway, I am not really afraid of dying; I fear about living.

As I mentioned, I am becoming better recently. My key point was that there is spiritual advantage to problems in life and timing its right or when you have learned the lesson, you transcend the problem.

For me, fear has pushed me along the lonely and difficult spiritual path and now seems to be right moment to release my fear..I am already feeling good with daily affirmation. But in the past, no prayers seems to work.

[PhoenixOwl]

Originally Posted by Minishark

I feel a little embarrassed admitting this, but when I'm afraid of something, I think of Batman. Then I grow a pair of balls, stop being a wuss, and face my fears head on.

I do that, only I think of Davis from Digimon 02. *Endures the hail of laughter.*

Anyway, I've come up with a personal technique for defeating fear (aside from Davis). I just simply choose not to be afraid. It can take some practice, but after awhile, fear just gets batted away. I first noticed this technique when walking down a flight of stairs with my laptop in my arms. I spotted a flying daddylonglegs (I'm not sure if they have a seperate name, but that's what they look like). Had I proceeded to initiate my usual reaction, I probably would have dropped my laptop. Instead, I just swatted it with my hand and continued on. I'm not sure if this technique'll help, but you never know.

[JeffS]

Originally Posted by PhoenixOwl

Anyway, I've come up with a personal technique for defeating fear (aside from Davis). I just simply choose not to be afraid. It can take some practice, but after awhile, fear just gets batted away.

I do something similar, but it took me a while to learn it.

Initially, I tried to think through everything: why am I afraid of it, what am I missing because of that, what's the worst that could happen, etc. The last one was really the key for me...afraid of approaching a stranger? What's the worst that could happen? They could insult you, other people around might hear...ok, so what? I move on, maybe suffer a little.

For someone who is really, really afraid of something, such a thought process might seem foreign and even belittling, but I'm convinced it comes down to just that--what's the worst that could happen? If it happens, can you take it? And really, what's the likelihood of the worst happening anyway?

[JJP]

I like EFTs because they help you admit you actually have a bad feeling, a fear, etc., and to confront it. Actually, anything that helps you come face to face with whatever you fear -- clarify it, proclaim it, talk about it, get educated, get help, find solutions -- is way better than having a hazy anxiety about... something... vague... that you kinda know has something to do with something... but you ignore it... push it away... deny it from your consciousness. You get my point. That causes more stress in the long run.

[ebradlee10]

I think of fear as my own invention that has to be "stared down." If I confront them enough, it turns into something to overcome. If you put yourself into more uncomfortable situations, the stronger you become.

I've come to a lot of these thoughts through my work with Landmark Education. A lifesaver for me.

[Traffic]

Everyone has fear, it's not something you get rid of. The differences are mainly in the way the fears are approached. For example, you're ten thousand feet in the sky, standing over the open door of a small passenger jet. You're looking down, the wind's rushing through your hair and your parachute's safely secured. Do you jump?

Stephen Hawking once said that the universe splits everytime a decision is made, so let's roll on that theory: in one universe you jump, in another you don't. In both universes, you go back a month later for a second attempt. Which one of you is more likely to jump? They both have fear, but one has belief and the other one lacks it. 'Whatever the mind can conceive and believe, it can achieve.'

[Phil Newton]

One way I've used to cope with my smaller fears was to do something I was absolutely terrified of. I was scared of heights, so I went abseiling off a 300 foot cliff. I've also done a high-ropes course, which is like an obstacle course 40 feet up a tree.

The main thing I noticed from doing this is that I wasn't as afraid as I thought I was. Once I was doing the activity, the fear had melted away. I was able to do things I thought impossible, and I could stop and think and enjoy the experience.

Now every time I find myself facing a fear, I remind myself that I could hang off a cliff and the confidence just flows into me. In the rare cases that this doesn't work, I ask the question "In 30 years, will I regret not doing this?" Answering this question usually gives me the courage to succeed.

[Scott H Young]

I wrote a fairly popular article awhile ago about this problem.

How to Overcome Fear:
Scott H Young » How to Overcome Fear

Basically I think fear can be overcome by systematically desensitizing yourself to whatever you fear. Steve has pointed out that complete separation from fear can't be achieved until your model of reality allows it (i.e. subjective/we are one)

[mind-energy]

Another way to ease fear involves thinking about the worst thing that can happen to you if your fear come true. Then, make everything you possible can that this wouldn't happen, if you can.
On the other hand, maybe you'll find out that the worst thing is not that fearful.

[MarkusL]

YK, one technique that I have learned on how to get rid of my fears is to emulate this character SPIKE from a Japanese animation COWBOY BEBOP. You'll be suprised how he looks at life, he takes life as it comes to him. Even though he is broke, always hungry, always close to dying, and has no woman in his life, he is always relaxed. He just doesnt seem to fear anything, even in the face of danger. I know this method seems childlike but it works. Once you've seen him and adopt his philosophy you'll be able to use it to your advantage. Just please dont emulate the violence.

[Lyta]

Try reciting the Litany Against Fear:

I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.

The litany is from a science fiction book written by Frank Herbert (Dune), and has proved itself useful to many people trying to overcome their fear. It's powerful because it forces you to visualize as you recite, and it gives you something to focus on other than the fear.

[stuart]

In respect to fearfulness, I think that it's nothing more than a signal. Whenever anyone experiences fear, you tend to transit from one time zone to another very quickly.

Go ahead, check it out to see if I'm right.

The last time you felt fear, did you feel like you were moving back into the past or forward into the future? Or worse, going back into the past, and then considering a fearful future.

Most of us might actually end up being fearful simply because we play these tricks on ourselves. Here's a useful solution you might want to test.

As you get any sensation of the fear, freeze your frame. Stare at a spot on the ceiling, the floor, and look descriptively at the things around you, just for a moment.

Breaking the state can help you to unchain your old neurological connections.

Anyhow, I'm glad you've found your direction YK. Oftentimes, solutions come when you least expect them, so just expect solutions to set in anyway.


be well,
Stuart

[JJP]

Today I listened to Steve's podcast #8 about fear for the second time after a very long while. I got way more out of it this time -- powerful. I recommend you give it a listen, even if you have already heard it once.

[Keith]

Originally Posted by Lyta

Try reciting the Litany Against Fear:

I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.

The litany is from a science fiction book written by Frank Herbert (Dune), and has proved itself useful to many people trying to overcome their fear. It's powerful because it forces you to visualize as you recite, and it gives you something to focus on other than the fear.

You beat me to it. Personally I'd drop the first sentence. "Musts" and "shoulds" immediately prick up the ear of our inner rebel ("I'll be afraid if I want to!"), but you could do a lot worse.

One thing that I find helpful with fear is to keep drawing your mind back to the present moment.

Steve's idea of 'progressive training' is also helpful.