Gotta get out of this place!

[Tuumble]

We needed to do some shopping this afternoon and headed for a big out-of-town centre with a massive Tesco store. I was in there for about 10 seconds and I had people coming at me from all directions and felt totally overwhelmed.

People, people, people! I just want some space!

In that moment I decided once and for all that I didn't want to live in the city anymore. Even though we were technically on the outskirts it was still too much for me. Curiously, the first magazine I saw on the shelves was 'Coast - Living by the sea'. I wanted to cry.

I don't care for office work anymore, I don't care for my salary driven job anymore. In many ways i'd rather live in a caravan and have a simple life in the open air than have this constant fight for money to make ends meet.

This is no doubt been brought on by the fact that we've been given notice to move out of our rented house just four months after we moved in.

Selling up to clear our debts was supposed to make it better for us but it just gave us a break from the pain before the next course has been served up. The difference now is that we are totally at the mercy of the home owners and no longer can feel secure long term. We knew what we were getting into so we can't complain but it doesn't make it any easier.

If we go back to the time of the move, we were told just a week before that we could no longer have a 12 month tenancy but a six month one. In any other circumstances we would've pulled out but we were assured that it was just for simplicity's sake for the owner - wasn't it just.

We had already risked having to wait 2-3 more weeks before moving because of the Christmas period so we had little choice but to accept.

On Friday, my daughter's birthday, we were happily enjoying a family meal when the letting agent called saying they wanted to bring someone round to view the property. It was horrible being at the mercy of other like that but we still declined as we had family coming over. Thankfully they didn't insist so it has been postponed until this coming week.

Our real problem is that there is a dearth of available properties in the the area we want. We haven't really got time to move from the area by mid-June. If we were a couple, maybe, but we have the kids' schooling to think of.

I feel like I've been talking about moving and houses and money for all of the last 12 months and I'm stressed and uptight about it as I type. I can take one more year as long as that is all it is. I'll go mad otherwise.

Wherever we end up it has to be right - we've made too many wrong decisions and must make sure that our next move gives us peace. We need stability as family before it rips us apart.

[Jennihul]

I can't relate because I have always felt more comfortable with other people around. I am a villager. You are a country guy/girl/other.

There is only one answer: change your mindset about this move. It's a burden. Make it an exciting adventure. I loved moving, home shopping, and all that was involved. The newness, promise of someplace cool that I had never been. But I look at everything that way. Even things people judge as bad.

No offense parents but you are much too ruled by your children these days. Put the kids in school and then move them to a new school when it's the right time for you to move. My parents did it to us and it was NBD. No big deal.

Jennifer

[jimo]

The LOA works and what you resist will unfortunately persist. In this case you are resisting what is happeneing to you and all I can see is that this will continue until you make peace with what is happening in your life.

I can relate to what you're going through, not in terms of renting a home. Rather I'm leasing my home for the time that I'm overseas. I initially struggled to get a reliable tenant and I can remember that this was as a result of the fears I had prior to looking for a tenant. I heard so many horror stories of people who had tenants from hell. And because of this I was desperate to not fall into that trap, but despite my best efforts, thats what I got.

The same thing happened when I tried to sell my car. Nobody wanted to buy it, even though it's a desirable vehicle at a good price. It's only when I made peace with what was happening, and replaced the intense negative emotions that I felt at the time, that things started to change.

Hope this helps.

[Tuumble]

Thanks for the comments - it's much appreciated.

Interesting developments today. As suspected we were called by the letting agents to arrange a viewing and that took place while I was at work and my wife was out with the kids.

Prior to that the agents put up a 'For Let' sign which is a bit odd. I've called them and they say that it's a complicated situation but in essence the owner is trying to sell to friend but is keeping his options open by offering the place as a let. Either way the place has to be vacant by the time our contract ends.

Basically the viewers are being shown round on basis that it MIGHT be available to let. I don't understand - why don't we get the option for the new let?

I'm not convinced we're getting the whole story to be honest. Part of me thinks that the agent has expressed concerns about how well we're looking after the place but it's not easy with three young children. With the owner in the US he's perhaps got jumpy and decided to call time.

The place looks pretty much as it did when we moved as far as I'm concerned but there are a couple of marks here and there but nothing beyond normal wear and tear.

We've had problems with the electrics and have got through bulbs like you wouldn't believe. That's been happening since day one but the agent seemed to suggest that children running around upstairs could be dislodging the fittings.

That's nonsense as she has never met my kids - they were at school at the time - and it was never a problem in our old house which was a good 10-15 years older.

I called about the seal on the cooker going and nothing has been done so it has started to stain the surround. I've also called regarding a problem with the roof in the conservatory which lost a part of the apex in a recent storm. This has leaked water, which they know, and even though a guy has quoted, no-one has fixed it.

When we came here we were surprised to find that there was no washing machine, fridge or freezer so we had to buy all those. We didn't ask about them as they were on show when we viewed but they belonged to the previous tenants.

Also, we are expected to mow the lawn which is fine but we have to provide our own mower. I don't see why I should buy one when I've never needed one since my first place back in 1988 especially as we've been given notice. I had to borrow my dad's at the weekend just so it was nice for the viewers.

I really wish we'd found a way of keeping our own place as I feel like a second class citizen now but that's on hold for the foreseeable future.

One bit of news is that I've been approached about a job today which would take me about 40 miles away but to a gorgeous town. We visited last year and loved it and talked about the possibilities of moving then so it's odd that this comes up now.



Details to come tomorrow but who knows, this may all just work out fine.

Incidentally, I would be able to see the above building from my place of work so that would be nice.

[jimo]

This may just be the break you're looking for, even if it may not seem like it right now.

[BrettAshlee]

Hi Tuumble,

Sorry to hear about your situation.

You may be right about the landlord's story having a few missing links... yet my personal feeling is that to pursue it, whether in action or simply in thought, will expend a tremendous amount of energy "getting to the bottom of it" and you'll be no better off for it in the end.

Instead, consider where you want to spend your energy. Perhaps it truly is time for a change, a move from the city. Get clear on what you really want by getting clear on your values - sounds like the salary-driven job is not at the top of your list, but I bet that's what you spend most of your time with.

You don't have much control about your current living situation, but you can make decisions about the way you want the other parts of your life to work. Try laying aside the temporary stress and distractions of what to do about the kids' schooling, etc. and focus on getting a plan together that takes you closer to what you ultimately want - even if it means another temporary move, or transporting or relocating the kids. It's the big picture that matters. Keep your eye on it, and until then, do what you have to do. It doesn't need to be forever!

The job possibility in the town you visited sounds like something to check out! Perhaps all of your recent challenges are leading to this great new adventure!

[Ninja]

Originally Posted by Tuumble

One bit of news is that I've been approached about a job today which would take me about 40 miles away but to a gorgeous town. We visited last year and loved it and talked about the possibilities of moving then so it's odd that this comes up now.

Hehehe, no it's not.