Happy (somewhat) but scared....

[TylerDurdan]

I need some great insight from others that have been through this and are now on the other side of the tunnel. Is there really love after love? After an amazing relationship ends, can you find those feelings with someone else without the sting of not having it with that other person? I feel like I’m a happy person not in a relationship, but I still feel that what I felt with her was better and I want those feelings again, however I do not feel that relationships in this generation are possible. Does anyone else feel this way?

[Parthon]

It's very definately possible. The only problem for most people is that it takes a lot of awareness, soul searching and mental/emotional clensing before you get back to base, and that is hard work.

You can actually get to the point where you accept what happened as just a part of life, completely forgive the other person for the things they did and still cherish the time you had together without any attachment to the past.

It just takes work, time, patience and the courage to look inside.

[Angela]

I think so, too. When you get to the point where you can generate gratitude towards the ex and towards the relationship for bringing you to the state that you're in; when you can really see that without that experience, you wouldn't have the resources you now have to create a tremendously wonderful, loving, long-term mutually beneficial relationship (LLTMBR); and when you generously allow yourself to accept the possibility that generating an LLTMBR is not only possible, but inevitable for you -- then you'll be excited about the brand new feelings and opportunities that you'll have with a woman, and the old stuff will occur for you like support rather than lost chances. You won't be looking to recreate what you had before; you'll be open and adventurous about an entirely new experience of love and growth.

[Alison Jenkins]

Yes it is possible and I have worked with many people who have successfully found love again. The important thing is to look at what went wrong and not repeat the same patterns again (depending upon what went wrong).

Alison

[elisabeth]

Here's a wonderful resource: "Tune Into Love" by Margaret McCraw. Based on LOA and with exercises and all. Really good.

And Clarence "Gatemouth" Brown, one of my favorite Blues musicians, once said "I don't cry over lost love. There's always more love out there somewhere." I know, I know. It sounds like the fish in the sea metaphor, which feels frustrating when you want one specific fish etc. Been there too.

But still, I find it heartening to remind myself of that, because looking back over the relationships in my life -- I notice that they have actually gotten better and better over the years.

I feel blessed (now! Not so much at the time though) that the first man I would have married on the spot had he only asked dumped me for someone else. Knowing what I know now, I realize that this would probably not have worked in a lot of ways (details withheld to protect the privacy of all concerned).

[marinik]

I do believe there is love after love, this is my experience... but the thing that is occupying me is there love during love and how do we stay true to our selves and those we love and BE responsible for what we have "created".

Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage.
- Anais Nin