Help!!!! I'm Living In My Fantasy World 95% Of The Day And Its Killing Me Inside!!!!!

[lightthecandle]

its literally 95% of all I think about...living in a fantasy world where I'm perfect for myself...accepted to Harvard Med school, have a great job as an engineer, have a high IQ in the 99% percentile, have a 4.0 in college, have beautiful skin, and features, and a hot body, and have guys all over me wanting me to be their girlfriend. Its literally taking over my life and making me really unproductive. why can't I be happy with the life I lead for real????????? I've been taking meds, and seeing my therapist about it, but it is sooooooooo not helping me.

please, guys, give me some much needed advice!!!!!!!!! I am sooo desperate

[Plato]

Well the law of attraction should kick in soon.

Darling, all you need is to lighten up.

[lightthecandle]

Originally Posted by Plato

Well the law of attraction should kick in soon.

Darling, all you need is to lighten up.

law of attraction sooooooo does not work...I've read a ton on that and watched the movie and tried it myself, but all it is is positive thinking that does not work.

[uberinquisitive]

Please read Eckhart Tolle's "A New Earth" and watch Oprah's webinar with Tolle.

What you're dealing with is exactly what the book and webinar explore.

[Plato]

Originally Posted by lightthecandle

law of attraction sooooooo does not work...I've read a ton on that and watched the movie and tried it myself, but all it is is positive thinking that does not work.

Shhhhh! You'll start a debate saying things like that. I'm officially dedicating the purpose of this thread to making you laugh. And if that doesn't happen, then and only then will I let you live in your gay little fantasy land. Deal?

[Trezker]

Just cut down on the imagining a bit and increase your efforts to achieve your dreams for real.

I should get working on my own stuff... Damn games and TV series take up all my time :/

[The Cloud]

You live in a fantasy world because you hate your life so much that you can't stand to live in the real world. Your life includes who you are, what you are doing, how you act, everything about yourself. It has nothing to do with the actual things around you, excepting that you have put yourself there with them.

How can you stop doing it? You can't. This is the effect of your misery, not the cause. You can't try to change an effect directly, or else you could become happy just by being happy. You can't make yourself happy by trying to be happy, you can't make yourself like something by trying to like something, you can't stop fantasizing by trying to stop fantasizing. You need to go for the root cause of all of these undesirable effects.

It's like the difference between anesthetics and antibiotics; anesthetic just covers up the problem, while antibiotics attack the cause. Do antibiotics make you feel good, do they make the symptoms feel less painful? Will they stop your coughing or sore throat or headache? No, they won't. In fact, they often have undesirable side-effects. But they will save your life. They attack the problem directly, and in the long run you were better off than if you had just tried to anesthetize yourself and pretend the infection wasn't there, while all the while it just gets worse.

Your unhappiness, your fantasizing, that's all just symptoms. Your mental immune system is compromised, it isn't healthy enough to deal with the problem if you just use anesthetic to try and cover the problem up. You need to take the antibiotic approach and go for the source: your beliefs. I cannot emphasize this enough; you need to examine your beliefs. Going onto this forum and asking for help is just turning into an anesthetic for you, making you feel as if you are actually doing something when really you are just trying to numb the pain of existence enough to limp on with your miserable life. You ask for help, but so far I've seen no evidence that you care to use any of it. You just want to feel as if you are doing something, rather than actually do something. If you don't actually want to think about any of the advice this forum provides you with, but you still want to be happy, take up heroin. Then you can be happy at the push of a button (or the stab of a needle). No effort, no thought, nothing but liquid happiness.

If you're not willing to do that then your only choices are misery or effort.

[Freelancer]

If you truly want to get out of this fantasy world.
If you finally understand that this fantasy world is causing deep pain.

Then read and listen to Eckhart Tolle.
A LOT.

Trust me on this one...




Ps. At first Ecky will be annoying, not rational, you will dislike his voice, you will probably dislike his personality and you might experience a reflex that you don't need and want this. Thats alright, I had the same thing, the key is to push through this nasty feeling. The other side is so much brighter that just considering going back is almost painfull...

[Ninja]

Your daydreaming is not your problem: it is simply a symptom. You can remove the dead leaves and branches, but if you don't cure the tree, it will wither and die. You need to find your real problem and fix THAT one.

It sounds as if life, God, the universe, whatever you want to call it, is trying to get your attention. Something is not right, your life is not the way it was supposed to be... wake up!!! Something is off and you need to get to the bottom of it, starting by finding your true life's purpose. If you knew why you were here, you wouldn't be so easily distracted. Find your purpose, set your goals and then set out a course. If you don't know where you're you're going, you're bound to get lost.

[Mags]

Originally Posted by lightthecandle

I am sooo desperate

You get what you're vibrationally aligned to...

At the moment, your specific desires aren't manifesting, because you're pushing them away with desperation and unhappiness. You have to start where you are - accepting where you are gets you into the flow, into alignment with energies such as joy, peace, and abundance. Then, good things start to come to you, and you can also manifest the specifics.

[z1freeride]

I don't believe in the Law of Attraction either, lightthecandle. I prefer solutions that are based on evolutionary psychology. It simplifies things and just makes sense.

I'd recommend this article: http://www.nickpagan.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/11/how-to-operate-your-brain-perfectly-v10.pdf


I believe that fantasizing is a quick fix for unrealistic desires. Take a look at what you desire. Some of them completely depend on the actions of somebody or something else.

[Tigerlilly]

Originally Posted by lightthecandle

accepted to Harvard Med school, have a great job as an engineer, have a high IQ in the 99% percentile, have a 4.0 in college, have beautiful skin, and features, and a hot body, and have guys all over me wanting me to be their girlfriend.

Actually that fantasy seems pretty down to earth for me. Add super powers and living on another planet and you get the kind of stuff I spend some of my pastime dreaming about.

Honestly having an imagination like that is a gift from heaven, it is incredibly helpful for manifestation once you remove the blocks and channel the energy into real life projects.

But I know what you mean, I really spent my younger years most of my day dreaming my life away, I guess the way you would when you take drugs, I just never needed those to get there. I guess, you're in your early twenties or even younger. I spent 95% of my waking time in Wonderland during those years.

With me it naturally passes away when the need for it no longer exists, the better I feel about real life the less I need my imagination to create a different life for me. If on the other hand I feel hopelessly blocked in real life from my heart's desire there I go heading off into Wonderland big time.

Struggling with the daydreamng itself is just shadow boxing, like curing an addiction to drugs while not doing anything about the circumstances that made you turn to the drugs in the first place. You need to tackle the roots, digging as deep as can be into the problem. And if it turns out that at the root of it all lies a belief, you need to take on that.

But first you need to relax and calm down, your life isn't going anywhere without you, so no need to panic, and please don't be so hard on your yourself, I mean, whatever happened to being your own best friend?

[veranadine]

You know the problem.

And now that you know the problem, you can put down the crutches and begin living more in tune with what you truly wish to manifest in your life.

Pull out the attainable underlying goals in that fantasy and begin working towards them. The rest of it is just the window dressings for a *possible* future.

You do know the difference between these dreams and reality. Stop letting them immobilize you and use them for what they are intended, to mobilize you in the direction of your best self.

I wish you healing and positive movement on your path.

Blessings,

[Yennifer]

Choose one episode from your dream and try to achieve it! You can start with, for example, hot body and beautiful skin - begin to go to gym 3 times a week, care about your skin, start loving your body. When you achieve the first goal it will automatically bring you another - a lot of boys around you

It is true, when a girl likes herself others do too. So then you can start reading a lot to improve your knowledge.

You just need to start! And all your dreams will come true so you will not need to drea

Best of luck to you!

[marinik]

What about 5% of daydreaning / visualizintg of what you want, and 90% of doing the things that are going to get you to your goal. I am not sure LAO dose not work, on the contrary but in my experience you have to let it happen – give yourself the right to something, and for the most time when I let it go, do not obsessively ultra passionately cling to my desire it happens, Although it dose take my action as an added ingredient. Huge things have been coming to me. The ones I saw in my mind eye as a mantra.




Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage.
- Anais Nin

[supertom]

Originally Posted by The Cloud

You live in a fantasy world because you hate your life so much that you can't stand to live in the real world. Your life includes who you are, what you are doing, how you act, everything about yourself. It has nothing to do with the actual things around you, excepting that you have put yourself there with them.

How can you stop doing it? You can't. This is the effect of your misery, not the cause. You can't try to change an effect directly, or else you could become happy just by being happy. You can't make yourself happy by trying to be happy, you can't make yourself like something by trying to like something, you can't stop fantasizing by trying to stop fantasizing. You need to go for the root cause of all of these undesirable effects.

It's like the difference between anesthetics and antibiotics; anesthetic just covers up the problem, while antibiotics attack the cause. Do antibiotics make you feel good, do they make the symptoms feel less painful? Will they stop your coughing or sore throat or headache? No, they won't. In fact, they often have undesirable side-effects. But they will save your life. They attack the problem directly, and in the long run you were better off than if you had just tried to anesthetize yourself and pretend the infection wasn't there, while all the while it just gets worse.

Your unhappiness, your fantasizing, that's all just symptoms. Your mental immune system is compromised, it isn't healthy enough to deal with the problem if you just use anesthetic to try and cover the problem up. You need to take the antibiotic approach and go for the source: your beliefs. I cannot emphasize this enough; you need to examine your beliefs. Going onto this forum and asking for help is just turning into an anesthetic for you, making you feel as if you are actually doing something when really you are just trying to numb the pain of existence enough to limp on with your miserable life. You ask for help, but so far I've seen no evidence that you care to use any of it. You just want to feel as if you are doing something, rather than actually do something. If you don't actually want to think about any of the advice this forum provides you with, but you still want to be happy, take up heroin. Then you can be happy at the push of a button (or the stab of a needle). No effort, no thought, nothing but liquid happiness.

If you're not willing to do that then your only choices are misery or effort.

WHOA that was a wake up call to me, can you PM or something so we can talk a bit more, maybe apply some advice.
thanks

[Revolution]

The main point of LOA is inspiring you to ACT. Action is far more powerful than mere thoughts.

[agnostic]

Look up Morita Therapy. It deals with this very problem directly and it is very effective. I've been suffering from this, too, even though to a lesser degree. But there are worse cases than you that have been helped with this type of therapy.

[Andrew Brunelle]

If you are so entrenched into this fantasy world, wirte a book about it. You could write the next Harry Potter book. Maybe that will get you back into reality if you hit it big with a book about the things you create in your imagination. It could work. Certainly worth a try. That way you get the "best of both worlds."

[Calvan]

Originally Posted by z1freeride

I'd recommend this article: http://www.nickpagan.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/11/how-to-operate-your-brain-perfectly-v10.pdf

Wow that is extremely interesting. I haven't read it all yet but I definitely will. Thanks for that link.