... I feel weird...

[saaretjie]

Hi everyone,

Hope you're all doing well.

I've just come out of a very difficult two years (Totally my fault... Lying never works for anyone) which left me on the verge of suicide.

Thankfully my parents found out and helped me a lot... But now... Life feels so strange. I think one of the great draws of suicide for me, was that now I would finally "get" the world's secrets. Y'know... God... Religion... Whatever.

And now... I don't know. I'm trying to figure things out for myself and sometimes... well... it gets a little... a lot... confusing.

I really envy the people that are sure about their beliefs. Religious or Atheists. It really pisses me off when I have no... belief. And then I feel like doing myself in just to find out what happens when we die.

Any advice?

[Ree]

Originally Posted by saaretjie

I really envy the people that are sure about their beliefs. Religious or Atheists. It really pisses me off when I have no... belief. And then I feel like doing myself in just to find out what happens when we die.

Any advice?

Glad that you're still with us!

Regarding the above, I used to feel the same way. When I began to really seek something that seemed real to me, I found that I DID have beliefs and they were pretty deep beliefs, and it took some work to clear my mind and my heart and make myself ready to truly seek and find and accept what I found.
Some beliefs are so ingrained that we don't even realize they're there until we try to lose them

Soon enough we'll all know what happens when we die. Right now I'm trying to find out what happens when I truly LIVE! Not just going through the motions, but LIVE with a capital L-I-V-E! What I've learned so far is pretty good You know, it's within your power to change your life, to make it the life you want!

[{aspiring_to_clarity}]

Originally Posted by saaretjie

I really envy the people that are sure about their beliefs. Religious or Atheists. It really pisses me off when I have no... belief. And then I feel like doing myself in just to find out what happens when we die.

Any advice?

I feel that no matter what the "when we die" part is pretty well handled: either nothing, or we go to heaven or we go back to the ether, etc. The real question is what we do in life. Since none of us has any certainty (only beliefs) about what will happen after I feel it's unnecessarily painful to worry about it too much. It's one of those things you can't control even if you know the answer.

But life on the other hand is full of things we can control and learn from and enjoy. Perhaps taking your focus off of what you don't know about death and placing it on learning about life would help.

In addition, I bet you have lots of beliefs that are so far inside you and were formed so long ago that you don't even recognize them as such. What values do you have? These can be totally separate from religion. What about the belief that there is some answer to know about the world's secrets...that's a belief right there. I think you know and have a lot more than you think you do. It takes courage to ask these questions and they are very interesting, but look at the moment of living you have right here and now. That's amazing and there's plenty you can do with it and enjoy about it without knowing what the ultimate answer to the universe is.

I sure hope you stick around with us.

[Love]

Hi saaretjie,

it's sounds like you're in a figuring out point. And it does seem like all those people who know (or think they know) what they're doing are living the life. Just remember that ALL people go through transitions and figuring-out points, and I'm sure many of them, including those here, will help with the process.

Wish you the best transitioning possible.

Cheers

[saaretjie]

Thanks for the replies everyone!

I think the key thing for me to do, is try to live day by day instead of thinking about events waaay in the future...

I find that quite difficult to do, but if I don't do it I can barely get anything done because I start to feel so depressed.

Any advice on day to day living?