Help with feelings of worthlessness

[Sushi]

Well I am 17 and live in a suburban neighborhood where nobody ever goes outside or says hello. I get up go to school come home and either go to the GYM get on the computer or do homework.

At school it is frustrating for me to walk through the halls and see guys kissing girls when all I do is talk to girls about nothing. People pass me in the hall everyday and nobody acknowledges my existence.

I feel isolated everyday because I dont have many friends and theres not much at all to do here.

I have never had a girlfirend basically because I need to be more spontaneous and funny but why lagh it up when I just come home to boredom and lonliness.

On top of this my grades wont get me into college anytime soon which makes the whole thing more depressing like Im stuck in this for life. Help?

[Plato]

Yo, that sucks man, but give yourself a slap and snap out of it. As a person who was in the same situation as you a couple of years ago, I know.

You need to figure out what is meaningful to you in life and get the **** off your ass and MAKE IT HAPPEN. You want girls? You're totally right that you've gotta sort yourself out first. Easy to do. Find things that matter to YOU. Not what Hollywood thinks matters. Not what your peers think is cool. What YOU think is good and worthwhile. When you know what you value highest girls won't even matter to you that much. If anything they will chase you because somebody who knows who they are RADIATES everything that girls want. Grades won't matter except as a means to an end and you know what- uni isn't everything. Save up some money and travel the world. Meet people. Develop yourself as a person.

Good luck.

[abbiejoice]

Yeah, as for me I felt almost invisible at times, like nobody notices you, and because of that conclude that you're nobody really. In my blog I admitted it to be one reason why I kept on writing, so I may know that I am not invisible.

I knew that I had a lot to say, and sometimes, it helps a lot when people cannot see you. All they are able to see are the words you say, words that makes sense.

Otherwise, all that they might see is my age, or how young I still look like, and few people ever attribute youth to wisdom.

Take heart, you are not alone. YOu said that you have a few friends, and I do too. And quite often, it's not the number of your friends that counts, but the quality, the intimacy and bond you are able to form with your special group of people. I'd rather have them than tons of worthless acquaintances around.

As for having a life partner, I guess we all need to be loved for who we are, not for who we are not. I am also not the kind who could easily crack a joke, but come to think of it, is that the most important thing?

You are significant, because you are

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[The Cloud]

Maybe you should start doing things yourself. Nobody can stop you from starting something. You don't have many friends? That's ok, you have some. Do something with them. I lived in the most rural part of MN possible, and people still found things to do if they wanted to. I don't think your situation is any worse than that. Get a job. Join a club. Start a club. Don't worry if people do these things with you, just do them for yourself and offer others the opportunity to join you if they want.

You want a girlfriend? Then stop trying to get one. I know it seems counter-productive, but the harder you try the less you will succeed with girls. If you like a girl, ask her if she wants to do something. Not so she can become your girlfriend, just because you like her and think she is fun to hang out with. If she's worth spending time with, then it's worth it just to spend time with her even if you don't get into a "relationship." Stop worrying about getting things like affection from her and just spend time with her. And if you have multiple girls that you think are fun, hang out with them all. If nothing else, you'll have more friends, and that's what you wanted.

As for being more funny and spontaneous, don't mess around with that. Like I said, success will likely be inversely proportional to the effort you put into manipulating a girl into liking you. Just be who you are, and if they like that then you are likely to like them as well. If you have to manipulate her into liking you, then over the long term things aren't likely to work out anyways because you can't always be putting up a front to get her to like you. That's not to say you shouldn't work on being more funny, if that is what you want to do. Just do it for yourself if you do it at all. Don't do it just for girls.

[evelynlim]

I think it is important that you decide that you can make a change. You do not have to be stuck in how your life is right now. When you start changing your thoughts, your beliefs about a lot of things will start to change. I recommend that you read this book by Louis Hay on "You can heal your life".

Find something meaningful to do, like joining activities, volunteer groups or even set up a site that reflects your interest.

All the best,
Evelyn

[smartile]

Sushi,

Realize that everything you want for yourself, you must also want for others.

You said,

People pass me in the hall everyday and nobody acknowledges my existence.

If you want people to acknowledge you, then starting acknowledging others. Start to give this away.... Start acknowledging the people around you. If someone opens a door for you, tell them 'Thank-you, I really appreciate it.' If a friend calls you to talk, then say to them, 'thanks for calling, it's really nice to hear from you'. Start acknowledging others and it will come back to you ten-fold --

Start giving away the very thing you want -- and it will come back in buckets!

Best,