|Emotional Mastery Emotional intelligence, addiction and recovery, grieving, loss, fear, anger, guilt, resentment, frustration, anxiety, depression, happiness, joy, love, kindness, forgiveness, self-acceptance, confidence, escaping the pit of despair, EFT|
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|03-17-2008, 10:54 PM||#1 (permalink)|
Join Date: Sep 2007
"I want to embrace the planet" syndrome
Before you read this, have in mind, that I am not one of those POSITIVE people, even the title remind of this. I am very depressed, lost!
When I was a kid I wanted to be: cartoon director, painter, inventor, scientist, movie director, later computer geek, musician, 3D animation artist. I was always interested in the world.
I mean, there are so many beautiful, enjoyable things you can do. So many beautiful girls, so many funny, cool people, so many beautiful places, so much beautiful nature, so many events you can visit, so many activities. But in 70 years, in one life, there is no way you can't experience 0.000001 of that beauty. I mean, that is so depressing. And I got that feeling...Even, in single activity. I am a very good musician. Guitarist. I like latin music so much. I mean, you have bossa nova, Salsa, Samba, Baia, you have Brazilian and Afro-cuba rhythms, and you have latin-jazz, that is sooo much joy. And you cannot learn all that stuff. And that is just beginning for me. I like electro music, like chill-out, ambiental, Drum'n bass stuff, so many possibilities there. And I like fusion, I like Balcan music very much(Serbian, Macedonian, Romanian, Bulgarian), I like classical(Piazzola stuff, romanticism...Tango), I am crazy about gipsy music, I like that Indian mystical stuff, so fulfilling... Better to stop here. And that is just music. Think of arts, I like arts. It is so depressing knowing that you have so little time, and that most of us will be stuck with one partner, one country, one job till the end of our life. I mean one GIRL till the end of my life. I can control my self, we all can, but that voice will still be there(Look at her, oooh boy).
Basically, I was successful in all things that I did. No I am very good musician, I was good at arts, good at basketball, computers, computer graphic, I mean,I am "wanna-be musician", because I am switching careers which is horrible. And I always think, "What if this is not it, what if your destiny is to be this, to play this, to...". I really cannot decide my self. This is all actually EGO stuff, ego trip, but it's very strong. And things are tough for smart, pretty, talented people(We all are, some have realized it, some didn't). It seems that you can have it all. And like you imprison your self by choosing just ONE. There are so many stuff I want to do, beside playing and composing. Not professionally. Two years ago I realized I enjoy dancing. I was with my friends on summer vacation, and everybody were dancing. I never was a "party person", I was always stiff in this situations, but...something in me just...I started to dance, and it was sooo beautiful, so enjoyable. Next years I was like, really really good. So right know, I wanna have dance lessons. Among other stuff. Tai Chi, Guitar, theory, computer stuff.
It is like, you have infinite hunger, 100000 million dollars, but you just cannot try all food in the world. You cannot eat all food in the world. And you are hungry.
6 billion people in the world. Millions of beautiful girls, with whom you can enjoy in sex and relationship, and friendship. So many funny guys you can laugh with. So many interesting, smart people. And if you are lucky you will meet 1000 or so. Isn't that depressing. I think of that, and, makes me cry, it so sad. So sad!
|03-18-2008, 09:11 AM||#2 (permalink)|
Join Date: Feb 2008
Why should you have just one career/woman etc? You could be a life-long bachelor, do all these amazing things, and travel the world meeting more than the average 1000 you might meet if you didn't.
Rather than complaining that you can't do all the things you want to do, why not get out there and start doing them? There's so little time!
|03-18-2008, 08:56 PM||#4 (permalink)|
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Raleigh, NC
You keep thinking like that and you will have nothing but regret while waiting for the grim reaper on your deathbed.
There is nothing wrong with wanting to live life to the fullest. Everything has a trade off. Living in a different place every month may seem exciting but robs you of the chance to have deep friendships that come with having the same neighbors and friends for years.
Bedding a different woman every (day, week, month) robs you of the rare and beautiful experience of knowing someone deeply to their soul. Not to mention the joy of raising a family and having a direct influence on another generation.
Everywhere you are, right at the moment, is the place you need to be. Wishing for the next thrill when the last one hasn't even ended yet is the sad part. Not that you don't have enough time.
Besides, who ever said we only get one go-around?
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