Problem in communicating with others

[kalyan]

hi friends,

i have a prolonged problem which is troubling me from 5 years.the reasons which are causing it were identified by me.but i don't know how to solve them as i didn't get any solution which suits to my purpose ,hope the members suggest me something ,which can get me out of this.

my problem is that, i always feel alone that there is no one for me and i don't like my parents because they always fight for silly reasons and complaining the same to them brought no difference in them ,so i totally ignored them as they couldn't be any kind of solution.so i started my self being lonely state and i feel i am one left alone in an island though i might be busy with my studies or any other work,but i feel the same .thus totally making me feel that there is nothing in this life and its better to die rather than living like this,after a prolonged situation of this, i my self taken a solution to fill happiness and people in my life.i started to bring humor into my life by commenting though not seriously from point of view but in a silly manner with others who ever it might be .what ever others speak, a comment followed by laughter comes from my side ,some times people get stuck,this sort of situation continued ,but i can't avoid doing that as it makes me to throw in the past state of being alone with out any one.

i feel my self that speaking with others in a prolonged way though it not make any sense to other person ,but it fills me lot of humor to that period of conversation thus making me happy to that day ,it sometimes look to me as if i am hardly pulling my self every day,though i have goals, i have capability to work and also to take pain in achieving my goals but my mental state is not allowing me to take any further step in working towards my goal and the chain repeats ,,i don't work in the way i expected since i feel something continuously dragging my motivation energy making me to think again and again that i am alone and facing problem with the people around me ,because i am irritating them to leave the idea of being alone.this again adds to the next day stopping me from doing my work.it just looks like as if i am fighting with my mind everyday for making it happy and to make it forget about my past failures and for forcing it continuously in doing my work i needed to do.

the problem persists , every moment when ever i am with my friends because of the warnings they give towards my behavior or if i stay alone with out any one around me it really pains that i am left single in an island


so friends please get rid off me from this situation, i accept your valuable posts, waiting for them every day for finding a solution to my problem.since i am in search of a job, i really need this to be done as it is not allowing me to concentrate on my career

[Jonathan Mead]

Kalyan,

I haven't been in through the same things you've been through, but I feel I can relate to the way you're feeling. I too have felt like my life had no purpose and couldn't focus on my career and my goals. I think the best thing you can do is try to find your purpose, try to find meaning in your life. You have to start with accepting the present as it is, don't regret the past or worry about the future. Simply accept life as it is now and devote your time to finding out what it is that brings you joy. What makes you excited, what fulfills you? Find out what's holding you back from feeling joy and feeling happiness, perhaps you judge yourself too much, or you carry around a lot of guilt with you. Practice self-forgiveness and forgiveness of others. Find someone you can look up to, find something that inspires you. Life is too short to live unfulfilled.