I quit smoking

[Groovebox]

While this sounds like good news, unfortunately it is not. I've been smoke free for 2 days now and it's apparent that I've been using smoking now to repress certain thoughts and feelings. Everything seems so dull, boring, and meaningless now. I'm not necessarily saying that I think smoking enhances life, but rather hide some of the feelings that I've had about life. This has really put me into a depressive funk. Everything seems so trivial now, and I question the point of every little action or thought that I have. It seems like I'm just a highly ordered organism going through the motions of self preservation with no apparent motive or meaning other than to survive, help others survive, and try to find some sort of entertainment to distract myself from the fact that none of it means anything. I'm really struggling with this right now from moment to moment whether it's while eating, working, or even talking to friends. I have a history of these sorts of thoughts but they all seemed to come flooding back to the surface when I quit smoking. Has anyone had similar problems when trying to quit an addiction? I'm sitting here right now and literally have no clue what to do, as nothing seems to interest me =\

[birajc]

Hi friend,

I quit smoking since sometime .It feels great now.

Quitting smoking causes your brain to send certain impulses when the nicotine levels in your blood goes below the level your brain got used to when you were actively smoking.These impulses causes depression, and the mind tries to logically explain you why one , just one cigarette would be so good for you(If not good , it wont harm you either ). I suggest resist it. Get actively involved in some physical activity(games or exercise in gym anything you like) as it will release toxins from your body and make you feel fresh and full of energy.

In a few days time your lungs and your body will start thanking you for all the pain you went through to bring this positive change by making you feel energetic all through the day, your taste buds will improve , you will find food more tasty, you will find good fragrance more beautiful.Life will be very nice.

Enjoi!!!

[Angela]

Groovebox, I freaked out a little when I quit drinking last August, mostly, I think, because I was really feeling my feelings for the first time in a long time and it was not so comfortable. In fact, I sank into a depression there for awhile. The good news was that I was face to face with some stuff in my life that was begging to be dealt with, and I had been anesthetizing myself instead. I did NOT want to deal with stuff. It turned out that anticipating dealing with stuff was the worst part. Actually dealing with it turned out to be a relative piece of cake.

I wish you lots of courage and peace; I know it's not an easy time.

[Pegasus]

Hi, Groovebox!

Congratulations on taking a huge step to improve your health! Although I don’t smoke, I remember a conversation I once had with a neighbor, who said that if people claim that they never get angry, see how they do without smoking! While your emotions sound totally different, the same concept applies. What was it about smoking that made life less dull, boring and meaningless? Was it the social scene that goes with it? Stress management? Try replacing smoking with a new positive habit, such as meditation or exercise. Hang in there!

One more thing: survival is not a goal! It’s a by-product.

[Steve Pavlina]

You certainly aren't alone. I endured a similar experience many years ago. Unfortunately it may get worse before it gets better.

I've never smoked a cigarette, but in my late teens my drug of choice was shoplifting. I stole for the adrenaline rush, often giving away the items I stole. I became so addicted that I'd steal several times a day. I started stealing small items like CDs and candy bars, but eventually I could do that routinely without my heart skipping a beat, so I had to keep escalating it for a bigger rush. I'd go on shoplifting excursions, sometimes stealing more than $1K worth of stuff in a weekend. I think my record was $2400 in 2 days. It got way out of control.

After I'd been arrested too many times and was forced to quit -- I came within a hair's breadth of spending a couple years in jail -- I felt completely numb and empty for months afterwards. I'd sleep until 3pm and spend most of my time playing video games. Life seemed utterly pointless, and I had no ambitions whatsoever. Even going out to buy groceries was a major chore. I didn't consider myself suicidal, but I really didn't see much point in living. I was just going through the motions. When I try to recall details from those times, it's mostly a giant blur of nothingness.

It took me at least a year before I started feeling normal again and then another year after that before I was setting goals and feeling good about my future direction.

My recovery started when I left my old reference group behind, moved to a different city, got a minimum wage retail sales job, and started making new friends. No one was reinforcing my old identity, so I was free to let go of the past and rebuild my life from scratch. It was like I just hit the delete key on everything I'd done up to that point and left it behind.

If you care to read the whole story, I wrote a blog entry about it in 2005:
http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/200...of-life-intro/

The cause of your numbness may be different, but what you described really struck a chord wtih me. I know it's hard to believe, but you won't always feel that way. You probably have a lot of healing to do, and it won't be easy. As you pull out of the numb phase, you may experience a lot of negative emotions welling up -- that's actually a good sign.

I suspect your smoking was covering deeper issues you've been refusing to deal with, just as stealing was filling that role in my life. Once you remove the drug, the underlying issues begin to surface, and they can seem overwhelming to deal with.

[Herbalist]

Steve,

Thank you very much for writing such a compassionate post, and revealing some additional (to your blog entry) details about your hard times of the past.

I think you read the story of Og Mandino - you read a lot Do you remember the episode, when he describes himself, giving success seminar (or workshop)? A young girl, from Amway, as I recall, came to him after the seminar, and said: "Mr.Mandino - you talk about success, and it sounds too easy, all the things you say. But the success achievement is not easy at all! I think you've never experienced hard times in your life."

That was a strike for Og. As he described earlier in the same book ("A better way to live", as I remember), he was a heavy drinker, lost his family and job because of that, and even was really close to suicide. But he recovered. And now... the girl telling him those words... He understood his mistake and was very grateful for the lesson. And he didn't hide his past anymore.

I've had really hard times too. Sometimes it feels like all the world is against you, all these smiling, successful people... seems like their "chessboard" is too easy, and yours is too hard. Steve, I'm guilty too - so many times I talked to you through the air, after reading your blog. "How can you say so? You live in U.S., and I - in this crappy rainy godforsaken country! The things are very easy for you! You have so many opportunities!" And then I found out (for example) that you had gone broke, that you were not always happy (I was really concerned and compassionate about you, doing your raw-food trial) and so on... It's always very important to be "a human" to your students and fans... in this case they feel compassion and forgive you for not being perfect But if someone pretends to be a super-hero and stumbles.... his fans will be the first to throw stones in his face.

My post is going a bit offtopic. And the most important thing goes in the end. Steve, give us advice, please. What is the first step (action) after you realize you want to quit but still feel a strong addiction?

[Steve Pavlina]

Originally Posted by Herbalist

My post is going a bit offtopic. And the most important thing goes in the end. Steve, give us advice, please. What is the first step (action) after you realize you want to quit but still feel a strong addiction?

Realize you don't have to go it alone, and ask for help.

[Groovebox]

Thanks for the responses everyone. Steve I can relate a lot to what you went through as well. I think even when it wasn't smoking, I was probably always substituting something else as a distraction, such as video games. When I was younger most of my waking life was spent at night playing video games, or just immersing myself in computers and pretending there was nothing else going on more or less. I would wake up in the late afternoon, or sometimes after the sun had already gone down, only because I had forced myself back to sleep too many times and I finally just couldn't make myself sleep anymore and had no choice but to get out of bed. It's very encouraging to hear that people have had similar experiences and thoughts, but proceed to live perfectly happy lives. I'm already feeling a lot better today; yesterday it just kind of hit me.
I think I've traced the problem down to the simple fact that as a smoker, I probably spent most of my time looking forward to the next cigarette subconsciously, and simply having something to look forward to was the main purpose. As a non-smoker, it's easy to become absorbed in an activity or thought, but as soon as it's over I'm constantly left with the thought of "what now?" and "what later?" The quelling of an addiction feels so good, that there seems no better substitute for downtime. When certain thoughts come up, or bad things happen during the day, it's so easy to just think about how great it will be to have that next cigarette.
So my solution will be to start finding new things to look forward to throughout the day. Maybe I tend to be too much of a go with the flow type of person, and actually need to map out more of a plan of action for each day. Thanks again to everyone for your responses, and Steve your articles and posts are always an inspiration.

[Groovebox]

Well I had a good day, followed by two bad days now. Can anyone suggest a way to begin healing such negative thoughts? No matter how positive I try to be, my mind is in an endless loop making everything seem pointless. Its so hard to explain. Even though it feels like I would be deluding myself, I wish I could just go through life accepting everything and being content like everyone else instead of questioning every little part of my exsistence. I'm beginning to wonder if I need medication.

[z1freeride]

Originally Posted by Groovebox

Well I had a good day, followed by two bad days now. Can anyone suggest a way to begin healing such negative thoughts? No matter how positive I try to be, my mind is in an endless loop making everything seem pointless. Its so hard to explain. Even though it feels like I would be deluding myself, I wish I could just go through life accepting everything and being content like everyone else instead of questioning every little part of my exsistence. I'm beginning to wonder if I need medication.

I find it difficult to focus on my emotions and try to turn them around, forcing myself to think "positive." It can be done and a lot people do get good at that through mind techniques/etc.

I believe emotions to be the result of fulfillment or non-fulfillment of desires, beliefs, needs or expectations. Instead of trying to change the emotion, I try to analyze my desires and see if I have any unrealistic expectations and change those instead.

A simple example would be something like: I expect my roommate to behave in a certain way all the time. If he somehow does something to annoy me, then I'm going to feel negative. I think it's more effective to release that unrealistic expectation rather than trying to suppress my negative emotion. If I don't hold to any expectations then I won't feel negative when he breaks those expectations.

Anyway, I know this is just a simple example, but I believe that you can apply the concept to more complex problems.

edit: I suppose you could consider this a "mind technique." But I wouldn't put it under the category of nlp or eft.

[Groovebox]

Well first of all, I'd like to apologize for my psychological breakdown on this message board the past few days. Luckily, I was able to find the root of my problem, which was use of the drug CHANTIX. I learned of the potential for severe depression while using the drug during a visit to my doctor yesterday morning and immediately discontinued use. Close to 36 hours later I am already beginning to regain my faculties and expect to be back to normal soon. After doing more research I was shocked to see that so many people have committed suicide because of using this drug.

I urge anyone who might read this, and might consider using Chantix, please for the love of god don't. These were probably the worst days of my entire life, and I felt like I was going to go completely mad, if I hadn't already. I realize that not everybody has had these experiences using it, but based upon my own, I can't stress enough that it is not worth it.