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Emotional Mastery Emotional intelligence, addiction and recovery, grieving, loss, fear, anger, guilt, resentment, frustration, anxiety, depression, happiness, joy, love, kindness, forgiveness, self-acceptance, confidence, escaping the pit of despair, EFT


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Old 03-02-2008, 09:12 PM
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Default Life is so Hard.

Hi, I will be 22 years old.
My life has been hard since I was young. Everything dont come easy, i wish I dont have to work hard. So fed up.
Why cant life be easy!!!?? Why is life a constant struggle?
Life is so unfair. Why others are rich and more fortunate and have a more normal family than me? How come others are prettier and get by alot easier than me in many situations?
I m So fed up of not having the things others have. I wish I m NOT ME

How do i overcome my frustration and bitterness. I just dont like THIS LIFE. Maybe afterlife is better. Life is so boring and meaningless. Whats the point?

Last edited by Zoomorphic : 03-02-2008 at 09:23 PM.
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Old 03-02-2008, 09:22 PM
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Those are SUCH GREAT QUESTIONS!!!

What are you coming up with in answer to them?
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Old 03-02-2008, 09:29 PM
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i dont know the ANSWERS. i m just fed up having to struggle n work hard in life. When does hard work ends?"? never? til i m old.?
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Old 03-02-2008, 10:54 PM
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Zoomorphic, the only meaningful answers to those questions are the ones you reach yourself. For me, the answers might look like:

Why can't life be easy? Because I'm making it difficult right now. I don't need to do that forever, but for right now, I need to make it hard because I am making it hard.

Why is life such a constant struggle? Because I am struggling right now. I don't have to do that forever.

Life is so unfair. Why do I have less good stuff and more bad stuff than other people? Because I do. And the same is true for everyone else. It doesn't mean anything about me or about them.

I wish I wasn't me. What's the point? Well, I guess I'm supposed to be me, because I AM me. Somethings about myself I'd be wise to accept, cuz they aren't going away till I die, and then I'll be dead. Some things I have the power to change if I choose to. The point is I'm here. That's it! Now, what game do I want to play?

What game do I want to play. There's another really good question!

I am so looking forward to hearing what comes up for you as you look at answering your own questions, Zoomorphic!
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Old 03-02-2008, 11:12 PM
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Hi Zoomorphic.

You're right. Life is hard and a lot of the time it sucks. I had a hard time as a child too and sometimes I have a hard time now. But then, some days I don't. Today, for an hour, I went to a coffee shop and had a coffee and read a book and it was good, it was a little thing but it was good.
One important thing that you must remember is that just because times have been bad in the past, it doesn't mean times will be bad in the future.

You probably need to talk to someone about the hard time you had growing up, I'd suggest a councilor or a support group like al-anon.
Above all else, when you feel a wave of sadness coming over you, say this one thing to yourself "This too will pass"

Best of luck,
Dan
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Old 03-03-2008, 05:52 AM
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Life isn't hard, life is life...

If it's hard, you made it hard.
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Old 03-03-2008, 09:02 AM
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Zoomorphic, this might sound a little...nutty, but if you feel like you constantly have terrible luck and that nothing ever goes right for you, then maybe you just have bad karma.

What I mean is that maybe you were bad in a previous lifetime, and the karma you created is now coming back to you.

I mean, all the other people on here are basically saying that life is just life and it's just all a matter of attitude and life will be what you think it is etc etc, but what I have noticed is that some people, myself included, do seem to have negative energy following us around that makes bad things happen to us and makes life harder for us.

Anyway if you're interested in what I'm saying send me a pm and I'll get back to you. It'll take a long time to say all I have to say about this topic, so I don't want to waste a lot of time typing if you're going to laugh at me anyway.

I am doing something to dissolve this hypothetical negative energy now, and I have to say that I believe it's working for me, so please get back to me if you're interested.
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Old 03-03-2008, 10:13 AM
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Zoomorphic... maybe life is hard for you because you haven't figured out what your purpose is yet. Even then living day to day will probably be difficult but at least you'll have found a goal in your life for the first time ever, a real goal to focus on. I'm heading off to university next year, and my parents were pretty strict about wanting me to take something as tough as engineering... but literally three weeks ago I got up and realized that I wanted to be an astronomer; I'd always been curious about the stars and physics and the mysteries above.

Maybe you're angry now because you haven't been able to... let off steam about what you're going through. Here's the place to do it. What exactly is bothering you? It can't be life as whole. There must be specific things. You ask why you have to work hard, why others have more normal families than you. Guess what? Unless you're born rich, everyone has to work, some more than others depending on their natural abilities, but everyone STILL HAS TO WORK. And as for families... you'd be surprised how many masks people wear. There are many, many problems going on in families you may know, but you don't know that they're having problems.

So go ahead and vent. But you're not alone. Wait till you find your purpose in life, and hang on to it like mad.
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Old 03-03-2008, 11:15 AM
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Hi Zoomorphic, you know how people around here where i live make a solution for that same problem that you have?, they just stop working, and they start using drugs, very young people like you and i, and even younger, 12, 6 year olds using drugs to feel better, life can be so much easier that way, you just dont do nothing or do any effort, you just relly on drugs for the feeling of weel beign. Please dont end like them, thats self destruction, a waste of precious life full of posibilities.

Life can be so hard for some, i know, but dont be a slave of your circumstances, you can do whatever you want, but that takes effort. Why to make the effort?, whats the point?, you make the effort not for the sake of the effort itself and the suffering that it might bring, but because of the reward that the effort will create, in short, you make an effort for a purpose, thats what you need, a purpose, be brave to choose a purpose, there is a point, you just have to find one for yourself.

If you find a purpose, your perspective will change, and youll see things differently, because every effort you make, any difficulty you face, every struggle, will have a purpose, and youll be exited to overcome it, because youll be seeing the reward, and hoping for it, and that will be your fuel that will give you strenght to face all obstacles and all difficulties, youll want to reach you objective so much, that everything else will be just an exiting challenge to overcome, and the road to your purpose will be an adventure, not a torture.

As a tool to overcome your bitterness, i strongly recommend EFT, it has helped me in overcoming fears, shyness, anger, and even become more productive and enjoy more my job Tapping.com - Free EFT Videos - Emotional Freedom Technique for some starting point.

And, if you want to find your prupose, there is a good article on how to find one on Steve Pavlinas site, look for it and youll find it, i wish you good luck on your journey, dont give up, your situation is just a personal perception, thats not important, the important thing is the way in wich you decide to act upon it.
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Old 03-03-2008, 11:55 AM
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Hmmm life is hard?
How odd, my life is easy.
Sure I've got some challenges.
Sure I've had a few handicaps growing up (no I ain't rich, yes my health wasn't perfect and no my social life was pretty much non-existant)
Sure I need to work a lot to get what I want.
I accepted all that, its either in the past or beyond my control so I can't be arsed about it anymore.

Do you think this way of seeing things is wrong?
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Old 03-03-2008, 07:08 PM
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The life will look in the way you look at it. I've had pretty negative times and pretty positive times as well. But when I look at them from the distance of time, I see it has been my perception what made life positive or negative.

Why do you need to work hard? You don't NEED to. You can go somewhere, lay on the ground and eat bananas. Is that what you want? If yes, then it's not that hard really.

You said others were rich and fortunate. What about the 2 billions who suffer from hunger?
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Old 03-03-2008, 07:38 PM
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sometimes life does seem so hard for sure.... I wonder if its to push us to find the super human inside us..check out this guy

W Mitchell: The Speaker of a Lifetime

i hope your life will seem easy in comparison!
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Old 03-03-2008, 08:25 PM
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A few quotes to cheer you up:

Quote:
Originally Posted by Winston Churchill
“If you are going through hell, keep going.”
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zig Ziglar
Remember that life is hard, but when you are tough on yourself, life is going to be infinitely easier on you.
And remember there are tons of people who started out very badly and ended up in a life of bliss. Keep on going Zoomorphic.
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Old 03-04-2008, 04:36 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Zoomorphic View Post
i dont know the ANSWERS. i m just fed up having to struggle n work hard in life. When does hard work ends?"? never? til i m old.?
Life is hard, yes. But don't give up now. Just when things appear to be hopeless beyond all belief, that's when life becomes better than you could possibly imagine.
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Old 03-04-2008, 07:56 AM
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i know what you mean. life is kinda a sham... the fact that suffering even exists makes me feel like the punchline of a huge cosmic joke. I know it all depends on how we see it, but deluding ourselves doesn't seem to help much. I have a feeling that this universe and the race it produced are either defective, or our creator doesn't care about our suffering. Cause honestly, why is it even there? Even if I'm in a good situation every once in a while, 400,000 sudanese children are dead. plus the holocaust happened. plus 1 1/2 abortions are performed every second. plus there's cancer, and retards, and the fat kid in everyone's class that always got made fun of. (don't forget, about 7 1/2 babies have been slain since you read the word abortion.) no matter how happy we are, it is usually at the expense of someone else's happiness. The world is an evil, twisted place, so in order to not kill ourselves because of empathy, most of us tend to shut these things out and say that life is a blessing for everyone. I, however, choose to admit it to myself. Instead of turning a blind eye to the ****ed up nature of the world in order to avoid being ridiculously depressed every time i read the internet, I choose to see this life and the suffering therein as a joke.

How do you kill 100 Ethiopians?
Throw a pizza off a cliff

Last edited by thesnowyeti : 03-04-2008 at 08:03 AM.
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Old 03-04-2008, 08:30 AM
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oh, and remember that us internet users probably all have the power to enjoy our lives we have electricity and running water for christ's sake.
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Old 03-04-2008, 11:38 AM
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my experience with trying to be thankful for material possessions like running water, electricity, etc is that it doesn't work. It usually has a negative effect. You start playing into guilt which is never a good thing. Forget about Africa. Who cares if their bones are snapping from mal-nutrition if you are unhappy? I'm not being tongue in cheek here; let actual rich people worry about them, you've got other concerns. Hey, one benefit to having a hard life! You have no power to help the poor, so you don't have to worry about them!

I know a lot of people will tell you to try and "focus on the positive" when things seem tough. In my experience the "positive" isn't so obvious, but it's there. I only find it however, when I focus on what I truly enjoy about life, not what others think or say they do, or would expect you too. That probably doesn't make a whole lot of sense, but this is a hard thing to describe. You have to take a hard look at what you have and how would it be the same if you had unlimited money. You have to really be specific and detail oriented but also very simple. You enjoy your breath? Money won't change your breathing. You like looking at running water? Taking a walk? Eating certain foods? These things will be mostly the same no matter what you are/who you are/ how much money you have. What they tend to have in common is that they are routine, repetitive sensations that get over looked in our complex society. You need to "live in the moment" to appreciate them. If you are too busy thinking about how hard life is, you will miss the "moment". Which is an easy thing to do of course, in this society.

Even if you hate everything I mentioned, there has to be something that only you really understand. Maybe it's bitching about how hard life is. Hey, that's pretty fun! But lots of people like to bitch. There's probably something else deeper down...
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