I hate my life

[Revolution]

spending TIME with the rocket and bonding deeply with it during its construction...

ROFL What can I say? God bless you DWR!

[Acting Like Godot]

I just have this feeling that by now, your ex-girlfriend has already moved on. She doesn't love you, she doesn't hate you. She's just moved on.

If she found out that you're still so miserable, she'd just be kinda surprised, that is all.

[Joeschmoe]

Any kind of dance will do. Partner dance if you want to meet people (swing, salsa, tango) or solo dance if you want to learn to love yourself (ballet, tap, jazz, hip hop). It's a good long term hobby, it will take you years to learn, and i think it's a physical impossibility to have negative thoughts while dancing. Dance saved my life.

[torilink]

Originally Posted by Chado2423

Looking at the above words.... grieving, fear, guilt, resentment, frustration, anxiety, depression.

My spirit is so strong you say, but I feel so weak, lost confused, hurt, anguished. I apparently have developed ticks I've never had before; probably due to all the stress I feel. Is it self-induced stress... perhaps, but how do I relieve myself from it. Every choice I make lately, every decision I make just seems to make matters worse in my life. I have panic attacks like the dickens.
I've never been this bad in my entire life. I used to be able to make choices and decisions that positively impacted my life as well as the lives of others... but that's not the case right now. I simply don't know what to do or who to turn to. Prayer does nothing. EFT does nothing. I feel so confused. I can't even sleep. Depression to overcome. I read a book that Jesus is the answer. I pray to him, but it doesn't do any good. If he has forgiven me, I sure as hell haven't felt it.

An important thing to remember at times like these is that pain & depression are experiences and you are not the experience.

often when the mind obsesses over negative thoughts they become habitual and it is more difficult to differentiate between the thoughts and feelings they create and what/who you really are. The thoughts/emotions become enmeshed with the self concept and kindof fused together.

set some time to sit quietly and allow yourself to feel all of those deep emotions and think all of those thoughts, while being aware of them as they rise in your mind, and as the emotions arise with them. Experience them completely - take deep breathes and say to yourself... "I am experiencing deep pain... I am experiencing tremendous guilt.... I am experiencing loss... and on and on all the while paying attention to thoughts giving rise to the feelings, dive in and really feel them, know them, embrace them and eventually you will reach a point of saturation and those feelings will just go and the thoughts will slow, and moment by moment you will feel more light & free.

[agnostic]

Chad, I went through something similar two times in my life. So please take my advice: IT IS OVER. She doesn't like you now. Period. Accept that. How can you possibly accept that, you ask?

Well, don't think all the time that this SHOULD ABSOLUTELY NEVER happen, that something is WRONG WITH THE UNIVERSE because of it, that life MUST UNDER ALL CIRCUMSTANCES be fair, that you MUST ALWAYS get forgiveness when you say you're sorry, especially from people you love. Well, the universe is doing fine. You are making yourself miserable by sticking to these absolutistic demands that ARE NEVER GOING TO BE MET.

Yeah, life sucks right now. I believe you that. The woman you love doesn't want to talk to you. You don't like your job and your boss. That is not what is causing your misery,though. What causes your misery is your DEMAND THAT IT SHOULDN'T BE THAT WAY. Well, tough luck. It is. You can live with it. How?

Give up these demands. Life is like it is. And sometimes it sucks. You can live with it. The only reason YOU THINK you can't is your unhelpful demand that the universe should be different than it is. But that won't happen. A stone won't turn into a frog, no matter how neurotic you get about it. Drop the unrealistic demands and you'll feel a whole lot better. Let her go. Accept it.

All these thoughts of "She is the ONLY ONE I WILL EVER LOVE" don't stand to reason either. YES, you still love her a lot. YES, you want her back. But it doesn't make her the only one. That's nonsense. Trust me, I've gone through this two horrible times till I've learned. There are other fish in the sea. This may sound harsh, but it's true. Accept that this relationship is over. Don't demand that what is shouldn't be, and you'll begin to feel a lot better immediately. At least this has worked for me. You won't feel great, but you'll feel a lot better and are on the way to recovery.

[Chado2423]

Originally Posted by xyz

Chado2423,
Its natural to feel miserable after one goofed things up. If you want you can try one thing. Why not think deeply what caused you to hurt your ex? What were the reasons that made you behave in a hurtful manner? What were those things that allowed things to go out of control? Why not trying to do a bit of introspection, if you want? Deep down do you feel worthless not worthy of anyone's love, care and attention? Or you simply don't know how to respond to one's love, care and attention? Why not write everything down and find the root cause of this break up? If you really want her forgiveness why not make a promise to yourself that you will never hurt anyone in your life in such a manner? Before indulging in that action again in future why not remember your ex's face and all the hurt she was bearing? Why not do something so that you can be proud of yourself?

I don't think I could ever be proud of myself, while she is still hurting. What would I have to be proud about. That I won't hurt soemone else in the same way? So what? What about her and I? Can you help me with that?

[Acting Like Godot]

Originally Posted by Chado2423

I don't think I could ever be proud of myself, while she is still hurting.

Chad, when this thread began in February 2008, she had ALREADY dumped you.

By now she isn't hurting, she's probably having difficulty remembering your name.

As for yourself, by now, aren't you getting .... BORED ... with being unhappy?

[ar81]

So you hate your life...
I do not think so.
I think you want a better life, something which you deserve.

Is there any specific situation or person that causes you to increase anxiety, or it is everything? If there are things, situations or people you can spot as agents of stress, you should consider to put some distance from them during the healing process.

Changes in your life will generate some stress, so unless you are under psychological harassment you might try to consider doing gradual changes. Changes like moving to another house, to another job, getting married, starting a relationship, etc cause stress too. So if you spot the wrong agents of stress you may adds tress for making an unnecessary change.

After you put some distance from agents of stress you may experience nightmares, which is the way used by your mind to vent ugly things from your inconciousness. So even if you do not enjoy nightmares, you will understand that it is good news that you have them.

Understanding of dreams will be a matter of taking elements from your dream and understand what do they mean for you. There are no generic symbols to understand them with a rock solid interpretation.

Recovery process will be slow, but great, for you would be in your way to become happier.
Do not feel guilty when happy, you deserve to be happy.
Happiness is not absense of problems.
Happiness is what we do while we face adversity.

[melon]

I sang the song of self-pity for years. Your misery isn't going to go away until you can take a deep breath and say, "I'm ready for things to get better." Are you willing to do whatever it takes to love yourself and love your life?