..so my cancer has come back..(adult)

[a white rabbit]

..permit me to introduce myself..

..52, English but haven't lived there for 25 years, spent 20 years as a farmer in France then moved to the Philippines, married, bought another farm, sired a bonny boy-child and got diagnosed with non-small-cell lung cancer, stage IIIA or IIA if i tell it. Did surgery which is when it went from I to III (according to the books), all that poking around found more icky bits, sighhhhh..

..did chemo, and went NED (no evidence of disease) for 6 months, then GURK, it's back...

..soooooooo, this forum came up when i pushed "decision making" into google..

..financially i can manage another bout of chemo, just, but now i'm taking from my reserves that i wanted to protect my wife, 25 years younger , and child, physically i react badly to the treatement, very badly but without treatement i'm looking at maybe 3 years or a miracle..

..emotionally i'm fine, it was a fun life, full of sex, drugs and rock'n'roll, i trained horses and risked it, i still do, i drove a trials bike and risked it, and stil do, i did my yoga and risked it, and still do. Apart from rock climbing (mug's game imo) i've done my best to keep life interesting..

..however, i'm now faced with a what-next choice and am open to advice on how to chose..

..NB..no false sympathy please, in fact no sympathy at all, if you go alll pink'n'touchy-feely on me you'll find out just how good is my command of the English language...

[Masya]

I do not have all the answers. I am not sure what you are seeking, but..

I will answer. Enjoying every moment. Living every day to it's fullest. You sound like you have enjoyed it up until now. So, keep going.. Since you are not looking for empathy. I do encourage you to live every second. As you did before...



Best wishs,

Masya

[Michelle]

Hey, welcome to the forums.

If I were to get cancer, I would try to heal it with my mind and by being kind and loving to myself (inundating my body, mind and soul with pleasure). I would use it as a path to self-discovery and view it as a gift. I once read that Deepak Chopra has a clinic where he teaches patients to do just that.

That failing, I would try to enjoy my death.


Anyway, good luck to you!

[norbert]

We never know how much time we have left. My mother passed away at the age of 29, my best friend at 21. I am 24 and I may be hit tomorrow by a car (which has 0 probability just like me mum's and best friend's death). I just wanted to say that the fact that you have a disease doesn't predestinate anything; although I understand that it completely changes your life and not in a positive way.

I'd like to share this video with you which has changed my POV of cancer:
TED | Talks | Eva Vertes: My dream about the future of medicine (video)

Other than that, I don't know what to say, maybe to stay true to yourself. I don't know what's better: if we get a warning sign to get our affairs in order or if we go away suddenly. But you are still here, and one thing I would say is to be sure to separate facts from any mind-made stories. I think this can make a real difference.

I send my best wishes to you.

[Jennihul]

The only non-drug treatment I have ever heard of that helps with serious cancers is eating a completely organic raw diet. I'm not sure if the diet cures, or if the burden lifted from the body allows it to heal itself but probably a combination of both. On chemo, though, the burden is almost at critical mass but it couldn't hurt.

In recent years, I have found an immense amount of peace from believing that age-old cliche: everything happens for a reason. I don't believe it in a trite, casual conversation sort of way. I really believe that we souls choose our basic path, struggles and triumphs before we are born. Sometimes for a soul lesson you must learn, or that someone close to you must learn or humanity as a whole must learn.

Sometimes karma from a past life. Or current life. Actions always have consequences and all that...

It's comforting to me to realize there is a bigger plan than just my own.

I can't guarantee this belief will allow me to face my own impending mortality in a graceful way when that moment comes, if I am even aware of the moment when it comes, but it has cured me of the fear of the unknown to some degree and certainly the fear of death.

So choosing between a harsh, expensive treatment or death on your own terms is really what you are asking, barring that miracle, which does occasionally come ...I think only you can make that choice and, google or no google, you know that....

Seems to me that people that are afraid to live are often the ones that fear death the most...you don't seem to be afraid to live.

Jennifer

[bellemeadows]

I love my horses; so much to give. . . .

There are some non-traditional resources available. . . Let me research, and I'll get back to you.

I think the advice to just live each moment with heart, and joy is the best advice there is. Focus on the things you love, the people you love the animals you love, the activities you love. It sounds like you have done that and still do -- good for you; so many of us do not live as you have. . . .
Bravo!

I will hold you and your family in my prayers. Many have recovered from cancer and gone on to live rich lives decades more; many have not. Wherever it is, may you find the grace in this trial, and know that I wish you and yours blessings.

All the best from Belle,

[Gene]

Originally Posted by a white rabbit

..permit me to introduce myself..

..52, English but haven't lived there for 25 years, spent 20 years as a farmer in France then moved to the Philippines, married, bought another farm, sired a bonny boy-child and got diagnosed with non-small-cell lung cancer, stage IIIA or IIA if i tell it. Did surgery which is when it went from I to III (according to the books), all that poking around found more icky bits, sighhhhh..

.

Where do you live in the Philippines? I live in Davao City.

[Bruce Achterberg]

I recently spoke with a cancer survivor (his cancer had metastasized to various parts of his body after having chemo; they docs gave him 3 months to live).

He said he cured himself in 3 months by drinking distilled water, completely overhauling what type of food he ate (he now eats mostly vegeterian, but drinks rice milk instead of cow milk and apparently has some sort of highly processed meat once per week -- beef, I think it was -- that has the blood drained out of it), and also looking into the type of food he prepared. He said he did a ton of research, and in doing so found lots of things, including how the cooking process tends to change the composition of food such that instead of being water soluble (good), it becomes oil soluble (bad), such that it stays in your body and literally clogs it up.

Here are two websites he recommended to me:

Water Cure 2

Watercure.com - The Miracles of Water to Cure Diseases

I'm yet to fully check them out.

He adds this concentrate to the distilled water he drinks so that he's getting the minerals he needs.

He said he drinks about 4 liters of water per day.

He also sent me a PDF excerpt page from the book, 'Water The Choice is Clear'. I found a website that has a bit of info about it here: The Choice Is Clear - WATER DISTILLERS AUSTRALIA

FYI, they guy I spoke to was in his 60's and looks like his in his early/mid 50's. He claims this is because of all the water he drinks. It's not only the amount of water he drinks, but the type -- distilled water, which apparently removes all "inorganic" minerals (that are found in everything but distilled water). He showed me this ceramic, rust-looking type stuff that he had filtered from I think it was 100 liters of water -- it was pretty rank. Drinking that can't be good.

You mentioned "dugs" in your first post. Even if you didn't have cancer, I'd highly recommend you stop consuming any legal (caffeine, alcohol, nicotine) or illegal drugs. The guy I spoke to said before he got sick, he used to eat/consume a whole lot of bad, nasty stuff, and I don't think he said it directly, but I think he was imply that that's what made him sick.

Concerning the cancer survivor I spoke of, I could give you his name, but while I'm happy talking about his ideas, I don't want to divulge any of his personal details without his permission. If you'd like to contact him personally, PM me and I'll give you the email address he lists on his website. Perhaps you could ask him for some advice. I'm sure he wouldn't mind helping out, so long as he isn't inundated with people wanting info from him. He's also pretty busy with his work, so keep that in mind.

Good luck to you. I hope you're able to purge this disease from your body and regain your vitality.

Postscript

Here are some posts from Steve that you may have you looking at your disease from a different, perhaps more helpful perspective:

Diet Update (Blog)

I hate going between death and life...

[Acting Like Godot]

Hi White Rabbit:

Philippines is a 3rd world country - I don't believe that you would be getting the best possible healthcare there. If your finances permit, you should consider the possibility of treatment in Singapore, which is close enough and has healthcare standards as good as you'll get anywhere in the world.

Other suggestion for you is to pay attention to your spiritual life. Something we all should do, whether we're dying or well, but I guess the strong possibility of imminent death makes it somewhat more pressing.

[Keith]

Originally Posted by Jennihul

The only non-drug treatment I have ever heard of that helps with serious cancers is eating a completely organic raw diet.

I was going to suggest the same thing. If you're the sort of person who likes to be familiar with the scientific reasons behind things, I recommend "The China Study" as a good start.

[Mayo]

You could ask for help on Zeljko Dolencic website. He and his group give lessons to people in Slovenia(he is Croatian national) and i just noticed that it is also possible the healing on distance, now i don't know how effective this is but some of his techniques give good results. I think he does not charge anything up front and he relies on contribution that is not set and depends on your financial situation. I repeat that it would be best if you had someone that is practicing this method near you.

HEALING BIOENERGY - Method

I wish you recovery from this but if the cancer wins you just have to know that this life is not the end.

Good luck and a BIG hug!

[Sam988]

Originally Posted by Michelle

Hey, welcome to the forums.

If I were to get cancer, I would try to heal it with my mind and by being kind and loving to myself (inundating my body, mind and soul with pleasure). I would use it as a path to self-discovery and view it as a gift. I once read that Deepak Chopra has a clinic where he teaches patients to do just that.

That failing, I would try to enjoy my death.


Anyway, good luck to you!

Wouldn't you even try some proven to help current medical techniques like chemo?

[Sam988]

Originally Posted by a white rabbit

..permit me to introduce myself..

..52, English but haven't lived there for 25 years, spent 20 years as a farmer in France then moved to the Philippines, married, bought another farm, sired a bonny boy-child and got diagnosed with non-small-cell lung cancer, stage IIIA or IIA if i tell it. Did surgery which is when it went from I to III (according to the books), all that poking around found more icky bits, sighhhhh..

..did chemo, and went NED (no evidence of disease) for 6 months, then GURK, it's back...

..soooooooo, this forum came up when i pushed "decision making" into google..

..financially i can manage another bout of chemo, just, but now i'm taking from my reserves that i wanted to protect my wife, 25 years younger , and child, physically i react badly to the treatement, very badly but without treatement i'm looking at maybe 3 years or a miracle..

..emotionally i'm fine, it was a fun life, full of sex, drugs and rock'n'roll, i trained horses and risked it, i still do, i drove a trials bike and risked it, and stil do, i did my yoga and risked it, and still do. Apart from rock climbing (mug's game imo) i've done my best to keep life interesting..

..however, i'm now faced with a what-next choice and am open to advice on how to chose..

..NB..no false sympathy please, in fact no sympathy at all, if you go alll pink'n'touchy-feely on me you'll find out just how good is my command of the English language...

Sorry for your cancer. If i were you, i would try every way of curing myself, no matter how much money i would have to spend. Your wife and child, if they really love you, should understand. If you were in your 70s... but you're just 53, god knows how long you still have to live? Many decades more probably. Don't give up on life man (you barely crossed the middle of it, depending on your lifespan), because of wanting to let some reserves of money for your loved ones. I wouldn't.

[eblight]

White Rabbit, how open are you to exploring other forms of healing? You live in the Philippines and I know from a reputable source that there are practitioners there with the power to heal. There would of course be many charlatans and you would have to be very discerning in your judgment.

The book, "The Journey" by Brandon Bays is a story about a woman who had a tumor growing in her stomach and through her own inner awakenings brought about a cure. She teaches the Journey work worldwide and her website might be worth a look.

As someone else has said Deepak Chopra is insightful as he is an oncologist and spiritual teacher. Stephen Levine is also very good and comes from the Buddhist approach of insightfulness.
Go Well.

[Michelle]

Originally Posted by Sam988

Wouldn't you even try some proven to help current medical techniques like chemo?

Nope. Millions of other people already have done that. And I think my way would be better.

[Sam988]

Originally Posted by Michelle

Nope. Millions of other people already have done that. And I think my way would be better.

What if it isn't? Why are you so sure that your way will be better and will heal you? Doesn't seem very logical to me to take a shot in the dark with obscure techniques when there are so many medical techniques out there that are proven to help people with cancer.

[Michelle]

Originally Posted by Sam988

What if it isn't? Why are you so sure that your way will be better and will heal you? Doesn't seem very logical to me to take a shot in the dark with obscure techniques when there are so many medical techniques out there that are proven to help people with cancer.

I trust in the self healing power of my mind, body and soul. I honestly don't care how many others have done something before me. My own feelings, intuition, and experience mean more to me. Like I said, if healing didn't work I would try to enjoy my death and learn and grow in that experience. But there is no reason to believe that I will get cancer anyway.

[Enlightenment]

I honestly don't know what I would do in your shoes. Chemo sounds so violent and is stressful especially if you get really sick from it. I mean, what's the point? There have got to be better ways of healing.
A colleague of mine died of colon cancer. By the time he found out it was rather too late. Although he did go through Chemo, this seemed like a moot point since he spent most of his life eating mostly red meat.
Now, you can start eating more organic food, especially vegetables and fruit.
You can try a more mind over body technique to healing.
I agree with the poster who suggested going to Singapore or perhaps a more advanced research centre which may have less invasive treatments besides Chemo.
Also, I know some people believe that if they 'risk it' then they've lived life, but I am sorry to say that there seems to be a fundamental lack of respect in that ideology. Not to sound harsh, but life is precious....don't risk it in blatantly dangerous ways. Respect life and it will respect you.
Good luck!

[SonoranBob]

To chemo or not to chemo ... that's a tough question.

A lot of people fight with everything possible, as long as possible and believe passionately in that. Others feel there are certain lines that, out of self respect, they don't want to cross ... there is in other words a time to hold 'em and a time to fold 'em. Still others have convictions that heroic measures (in which some would include chemo, or at least more than a couple rounds of it) are unnatural and pathetic attempts to avoid fate.

My own conviction after experiencing my wife's multi-year slow and agonizing death (not from cancer) is that if medicine can't offer you an improved quality of life and some kind of halfway decent odds, it's probably best to avoid the expensive / dicey / misery-inducing stuff and prepare yourself to accept the probable consequences of letting nature take its course. Since you express concerns for taking financial resources for your treatment away from your wife, this seems even more obvious.

But your wife needs to be on board with this decision. If she's not ready to accept it then the possibility exists that she will torment herself with it after you die. You know, "if only I'd insisted / convinced him that he do another round of chemo maybe he'd be here". This decision impacts her, too, and so she needs to be involved and explore her feelings. Hospice / grief counseling services can be invaluable here.

I don't personally believe that at least doing contingency planning like this is some kind of evil mojo that will be self fulfilling. One of the few mercies for me in my wife's death was that we had a lot of time to discuss it in detail, and as a result I have zero regrets about how we handled it. As a not-insignificant bonus, I was able to do a good deal of my grieving in advance -- and with my wife's loving support. I have been evaluated by the local hospice people and they feel that I am at a place six months after her death that is equivalent to where most people in my situation take two years to get to.

At the end of the day it has to be right for you and your wife and children ... the only way there is to talk about it and cry about it together.

Best to you,

--Bob