what to do about film school, college and my current situation

[loveliketheflowers]

So I finally told my grandfather about film school....but my grandfather is not too excited about the tuition costs which is over 40,000 for the year program. i really heard some good things about the school and that it is a good program though. my grandparents think i am currently in regular college cause i told them that for the past few yrs, but i really haven't been. so i was trying to avoid telling them the truth about school and hoping to start this new film school so the lie can disappear or evaporate and i can just move on, isn't that what living in the NOW is all about anyway? but if my grandpa does not like the school when we visit tomorrow for a campus tour, im pretty screwed cause my "regular college" is nothing but a lie and illusion and i am no where near graduating since i havent been in school. but im so scared to tell them the truth, just fear of what they will think and the future outcomes of how they will probably treat me and lose total trust and respect for me. im already alone and sad enough as it is, i just want to move on so bad and feel better....

any thoughts, advice on what i can do or encouraging words, cause i really feel truly lost and alone and fearful....

[seeker5]

Confess to them you've been lying. Now.

You're scared they will lose trust and respect for you. Fact is you've already lost your own respect and your own trust for yourself. Your own opinion of yourself is the most opinion there is in the world, it's more important then anybody else' opinion. How you view yourself determines all the actions, and thinking that you do. So if you view yourself in a very poor and negative light, then your action will follow through, bringing more ongoing problems and needless struggles to yourself.

So, confess, and start respecting and trusting yourself. Become a person who is trustworthy, and who is honest, no matter what. Decide that your own self-respect is worth more then any opinion from anyone else. It won't be overnight, it will take a long time, but it's very important.

You have no right to try to get from your grandfather $40K for your school if you can't even trust yourself. Give it up, become honest and trustworthy and you'll eventually find another way to accomplish your dreams.