my best friend hates me

[Zoomorphic]

I dont know what i ve done to make my best friend hate me. I havent spoken to her in few months, She stopped returning my calls and texts.
I feel very lonely coz we've been best friend for 2 years in college. We were very closed. Now i ve nobody to talk to.
What is wrong with me?? why nobody likes me? I m hated by other girls, coz i can feel it. I think my best friend said stuff about me.

Today I ran into my best friend in the street, she told me news about another friend that is leaving the country tomorrow and there will be a party tonight.
I called the friend to wish her d best in her future. She quickly ended our conversation before I could ask if we would meet up and perhaps i could go to her party. I feel like an absolute idiot for trying to make friends. I dont know the girl very well and my best friend is closer to her.

I think i know the reason why my best friend just stopped being my friend. She said in our last convesation few months ago; how i had a malicious grinned when she told me she had to resit an exam in the summer. She had never failed an exam in her life. I was not very sensitive about her situation, coz i think its really not a big deal coz i resitted exam every year in college. Perhaps i was not serious and was in a joking mood.
She took it so personally. She thinks i m nasty.

Up to this present moment, I m quite self-conscious about my gesture and conversation. I m afraid to offend anyone, I m getting so uncomfortable talking to people, coz i m thinking too much about everything and hopefully people will like me. I seem so unnatural around people now.
I m so sad and disappointed, coz its not d first time I fall out with my bestfriend, This is the 4th friend in my life that had back off..
I just cant seemed to figure why.
It could be either something serioulsy wrong with my behaviour or it could that its just the way life is- people come and go.
This experience makes me hate myself EVEN more, already, i have very low self-esteem and really hating my life right now.
Just dont know why I care so much of my best friend and other girls think of me... Now I m tremendously depressed

[ElleBlue]

Hi Zoomorphic,
I think your problem is, you're trying too hard. For many people that is a turnoff. Also, if you want to talk to them everyday or want to hang out with them for too long, then they get the message that you don't have others to hang out with. I think it would be good for you to fill some of your time with some activity or join clubs or groups with people of like interests. If you have a few acquaintances, make your rounds and spend a little time with each.

Most of us feel awkward at one time or another in different social situations, but I try to focus on the things I do well at. I usually do well in social gatherings where people do something similar to what I do for a living or they're entrepreneurs. All someone has to do is ask me what I do for a living, and I could go on for hours. But put me in a room where everyone is watching a boxing match and are going over records of the athletes and I have nothing to say.

As far as your self esteem, again focus on what you do well and your good qualities. Are you tolerant of most people? That's a good quality. Are you a loyal friend? Another good quality, too. You mentioned you only had to re take one test during college, so pat yourself on the back! I'm a creative person, and I needed to retake many tests in the academic classes. In my art classes, I did great, so I worked extra hard on the other classes, to maintain a good grade point average. So, do I feel bad that I stunk in bio and quantum physics is beyond the scope of my understanding? Heck no. I leave the quantum physics to the gifted people and concentrate on my art work and developing my computer skills.

[norbert]

Do you give enough space for your friends to live? Usually people who bug me daily make me go crazy and I (mostly unconsciously) get rid of them very soon (unless I feel they are really like 1 in a million).

If we're there for each other and you don't expect anything from me, soon you'll get everything I've ever had.

[Zoomorphic]

Originally Posted by norbert

Do you give enough space for your friends to live? Usually people who bug me daily make me go crazy and I (mostly unconsciously) get rid of them very soon (unless I feel they are really like 1 in a million).

If we're there for each other and you don't expect anything from me, soon you'll get everything I've ever had.

Definately, I could be too clingy come to think of it, I do go friends all d time for every single decisions and problems. I never seemed to b able to make my own decision without a confirmation/approval by others.

[Zoomorphic]

Originally Posted by ElleBlue

Hi Zoomorphic,
I think your problem is, you're trying too hard. For many people that is a turnoff. Also, if you want to talk to them everyday or want to hang out with them for too long, then they get the message that you don't have others to hang out with. I think it would be good for you to fill some of your time with some activity or join clubs or groups with people of like interests. If you have a few acquaintances, make your rounds and spend a little time with each.

thankx i gotta try that. I m trying too hard to get friend's attention, I should be focus and do my own things. I cant help but feeling lonely most of d time when Im by myself I think people would think i m some sort of loner/loser, therefore they think i m boring so they wouldnt want to hang out with me.

[coollikeme]

Your friend for what ever reason moved on. Now you should move on.