What to do when you are alone with no friends to call on?

[loveliketheflowers]

Im an only child, so I don't mind being alone sometimes. I isolated myself and ignored my friends by not answering their calls or emails for a long time now. Now that I am ready to get back out into the real world, I have no friends I can easily call on and talk to or chat with. I sometimes talk to my friends online but not that long and not that much. I try to look for chat rooms to search for new friends or another website where people are. I feel alone and wish I could have someone to just talk to besides this forum or myself. I can't depend on men because that is not the right way, and they are all in bad situations anyway. Does anyone have any advice for a loner? I don't want to be a loner, but I think that is what I am at this moment.

[Keith]

Originally Posted by RioroseIsAStar8507

Im an only child, so I don't mind being alone sometimes. I isolated myself and ignored my friends by not answering their calls or emails for a long time now. Now that I am ready to get back out into the real world, I have no friends I can easily call on and talk to or chat with. I sometimes talk to my friends online but not that long and not that much. I try to look for chat rooms to search for new friends or another website where people are. I feel alone and wish I could have someone to just talk to besides this forum or myself. I can't depend on men because that is not the right way, and they are all in bad situations anyway. Does anyone have any advice for a loner? I don't want to be a loner, but I think that is what I am at this moment.

My suggestion: call one or more of your friends and see if they want to go out and do something. Say that you're sorry you got slack and let the friendship slide and that you want to start correcting that.

If your friends are a priority, make them a priority and go see them.

Easy.

[ken nubo]

Hey RioroseIsAStar8507,

What's your hobby? Join a club and make friends

[nvictor]

You are never alone.
Anybody can be your friend, if you really want.

[Spartan]

Do you have parents?

[Freelancer]

Originally Posted by RioroseIsAStar8507

Im an only child, so I don't mind being alone sometimes. I isolated myself and ignored my friends by not answering their calls or emails for a long time now. Now that I am ready to get back out into the real world, I have no friends I can easily call on and talk to or chat with. I sometimes talk to my friends online but not that long and not that much. I try to look for chat rooms to search for new friends or another website where people are. I feel alone and wish I could have someone to just talk to besides this forum or myself. I can't depend on men because that is not the right way, and they are all in bad situations anyway. Does anyone have any advice for a loner? I don't want to be a loner, but I think that is what I am at this moment.

If you wish to talk about the weather (or perhaps important things) send me a message.

I don't mind.

[Bliss Sage]

Hi Rio. I'm sort of in a similar situation and I agree about what you wrote about men. If you want, maybe we could write online some, instant messaging, even if that can't really replace an "in-person" friendship. I have a very hard time making female friends for some reason and I miss having one.

[freshwala]

i feel like im in a similar situation, its not like i dont have friends, because i have loads, but i dont have like a best friend/friends so i often feel isolated asif theres no one that i really trust more than others or like when somebody wants to go out n do something im never gona be the first person they invite, im everybodys friend, nobodys best friend, but i guess ive got used to it now, and i havnt fallen out with a friend in a long long time, it seems like the closer a friend is to me the worse it ends up after we fall out.

just my story lol

peace

[Dusty]

Do what is suggested in this article.

http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/200...-solving-tool/

Start with the question:

"Why am I choosing to be alone?"

[Adrian]

You could be making a self-fulfilling prophecy about not having friends - you say you go to chat rooms where there are people to make friends, but if you go with a mindset of "I'm not gonna meet anybody!"... you probably won't find anybody to your liking.

Try switching around your mindset. Instead of constantly feeling down about not having friends, tell yourself "I'm an amazing person, and deserving of being somebody else's friend." Then go out into the world with the expectation of making friends. Change your mindset, you may very well change your outcome.

[dking]

If you are blessed with good health then now is the time to begin a new journey. Help yourself by doing good for others. There are many volunteer positions available all around you. If you choose to help others it can be the most fullfilling and rewarding venture in your life. Choose something that interests you be it children, geriatric, or physical labour in a Food Bank.

You will meet many other "loners" who are there to provide support to those in need and are also looking to fill hours of time. Volunteering provides a safe and logical way for you to meet other people and begin to socialize.

I have met many good friends in a volunteer organization, which in turn led to job prospects and fun-filled outings.

[Lauxa]

I sometimes wish it were easier to call people on the phone, more like these chat rooms. I am a stay-at-home mom and I have plenty of time on my hands for phone chats while I am doing dishes, but not many people to call. I am lucky to have 2 pretty good friends right now, but they are not in the same situation where we can entertain each other on the phone while doing the laundry. It doesn't help that I am terrified of calling new people. Mostly I chat with my mother or listen to my iPod.

Rio, I agree that you should start with your old set of friends, they might be glad to hear from you. But if that doesn't go well, then you will have to meet new people. This takes some time and effort, but it is easier if you get in with a group that (1) centers around an activity that you enjoy and (2) meets at least once a week. Even so, I often don't really bond with many of the people, but is nice to be part of a group "where everybody knows your name".

Also, instead of coming from the place of "I need friends so I should go out and meet people and try to make friends" try coming from "I am complete and whole and loved and I want to share my love with others". It can be hard to make friends if you come across as needy.

[simplystephen]

Rio/Rose,

A few things have come to mind.

To give you a quick background, I suffer from depression and often isolate myself. Divorce and bad management of my career (desire to work freelance) have put me in a long term financial situation that ONLY I AM RESPONSIBLE FOR! I have isolated myself and often hide behind the computer. I need to make the changes that promote change in the perspective of others.

So, here's some food for thought.

Chat rooms are are for networking/learning...but the real world is out there
Sometimes friends drift apart...new opportunities arise (embrace this)
Find activities/interests you are passionate about...there you will find friends
Stay away from generalized, stereo-typical, negative thoughts...if you perceive it then the reality will become true
Keep trying, it is hard but giving up is not an option
Find a support group and make friends with people there
Join Toastmasters or a group that helps you improve
Take a community course/workshop...they are often free and always low cost
Keep trying to contact your old friends...share good things with them

I can make an endless list...

As an added note, it is very harmful to think that "men" are not to be trusted. I think in your community you could find many men that have honourable intentions and strong integrity. If you hold some of these fears and resentments then it will never change. It could be time to look inwards and embrace yourself...learn to love yourself.

I think you have so much to offer the world. Look deep for it and you will shine. Perhaps a vipashana meditation, tai chi or yoga will help you focus on a more positive outlook to gain the friendships you clearly deserve.

Good luck with your efforts. My heart is with you. The tears I shed for you are real and stem from my own isolation. I understand.

Be well.

[Joely]

Hi there,

I took a break from the world over the summer, but when I came back, I just said I'd had to take time away from it all and everybody just accepted that was the way it was. I'm sure your friends won't mind if you reach out and try to get back in touch.

J x

[cbreeze]

I've been where you all were for years due to depression over many losses, but have to commend Stephen's ability to recognize that he is responsible for attracting friends. I used to isolate; depressed/victimized about how much life sux, city sux etc. But in truth - you must be willing and allowing of friends to enter your reality. I bid adieu to all my friends, one of 27 years - hard, but, he was so cynical/negative/judgmental. AND SO WAS I! Now, I know that I had to be what I wanted to be with and attract and put out the unseen force to summon new positive fun friends and have loads simply 'appear' - but I've always had easier times talking to strangers than family (heheh - same I guess). Make a list of what kind of friends you want, what do you have to offer (sense of humor, reliability, etc.) and it'll happen, but again, like Stephen said - sup 2 U! Good luck, I send you happiness - and Stephen? You rock.

[simplystephen]

I am humbled by your response. My words are meant to motivate and love. Thank you - each of us rocks in our own way.

[uberinquisitive]

I recommend you find a passion, and pursue it within a community of other people who also have the same passion. If you're true and authentic, friendships with automatically form.

My friends are the most awesome bunch. I met some of them on a make-up artist messageboard (I've been on it for 8 years). Some, in writing classes (my passion). Some, in school. Some, at work.

I have acquaintances I socialize with. But they're not my friends. And I'm guessing you want friends - a 2nd family, I guess.

Basically, these friendships evolved out of mutual respect and common interests. I've always kept an open mind of making new friends...but I never tried to "make" new friends. They happened naturally, without effort. And, maintaining them is natural and effortless, because the foundation is so strong.

Your passion can be anything, as long as it's totally authentic and "you." Hey, make-up is one of my passions! A lot of people would probably think my make-up messageboard is a collection of superficial women who discuss eyeshadow and lipgloss like it's a religion...but y'know what? It's me, baby. It's my passion. The ones local to NYC, I've met, more than once. And, we're all beauty product junkies, so a natural activity is to go to Sephora together and shop!

Wow...if only I could treat my bf's the way I treat my friends...or interact with guys the same way with friends...my life would be so much better!

[evelynlim]

I have friends but I also realise lately that it seems that I am pretty much alone. I used to have even fewer friends, but managed to break out of my shyness and found some hobbies, where I made some friends.

Just two days ago, it dawned on me that I do not have many friends who are like-minded. While I have decided to go on the path towards self discovery and deeper awareness, I have found that most of my friends do not believe in this nor share similiar beliefs in the law of attraction. My conclusion is that I need to "attract" like-minded friends.

Hence, the point is that you also want to take the effort to seek and attract friends who share similar beliefs as you, and not just based on a hobby alone.

All the best,
Evelyn