Dealing with fear of pain and death
 

Its not often that I fear pain and death, but every once in a while, for example yesterday when I was on a flight and experienced some turbulence, I feel this fear come on pretty strong. Its really unpleasant and I wish I could overcome this fear of dying or experiencing great pain.
I'm curious about how you guys deal with this fear and if any of you have overcome it.

I wouldn't look forward to an extended period of disability followed by death, but to be in relatively good shape until a rather swift death, such as from a plane crash, would be fine if death can't be avoided altogether. To make it even better, I'd be the sole person on the plane as I perform some sort of aerobatic stunt on my 90th birthday ;) Having just enough time to say goodbye to people I'm close to would be nice but unnecessary as I already tend to lead my life in such a manner that nothing of consequence is left undone (ie: I could die tomorrow with few if any regrets).

I haven't faced death so cannot write from experience... but I have faced pain and my advice is to surrender to it because the more you fight it the more unrelenting it is.

One thing I have noticed in those that are dying is acceptance. Perhaps, it is more scary when it is a fear than what it is when it is actually happening. As weird as it might sound there is beauty and peace in a natural death, so it can't be that bad.

I almost drowned once, they say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, it is not so, as I ran out of oxygen, I quickly accepted death, without much struggle, it almost felt rude when I was rescued. I felt deflated afterwards for accepting death so easily.

In comparison, your fearing death is a *good* thing, it means your "will to live" is as yet quiet strong, you will probably struggle to stay alive until your last breath.

But then again, fear is probably a harmful thing to feel when not in acute danger. I am sure there are methods to control it.

There are 2 different feelings of fear.
First one is a fear of death as a natural instinct. This fear is necessary and good. It will help you jump away from a speeding car.
Second one is a fear of death as a feeling learned from experience. You learn this fear every time you feel pain, you see someone else die, you hear about someone else’s death. This is a bad fear and you can overcome it.
Next time you feel overwhelming fear of death, don’t try to control it. Let the fear grow. Let all the thoughts that scare you come in. Sit down, relax and wait to see what will happen. You will not die from fear, and if you are destine to die, your fear won’t save you. Your fear will grow until it can’t grow anymore, and than it will dissolve.
It is good to do this while holding a hand of someone you trust.

Re
 

I am not suicidal, but I have this thing where when I am afraid of something, I want to face it and get it over with. So sometimes I think, I wish I could do death, and have it over with, so I no longer fear it, but that can not be done.
Mabey if I had an NDE. I told my psychologist that, and she got this strange look, and said you actually wish you could have one? In disbelief. I said yes.
I only read what others opinions are on them, and others experiences. Mabey if I had my own, I would no longer fear it? Anyway, I understand that fear.
I think we all fear it, most put it on the backbuner, and let the chores of daily life, block that fear. When it comes time, I think most are going to be frightened. Mabey I am wrong, but I doubt it. I fear the pain of dying since I am allergic to every pain medication just about on this planet, so no morphine sleep for me. If they gave me something like that, it would be the worst way to go out, with the side effects I have. Anyway, Im rambling. Sorry.
I still feel I will exist, but we never really know until we get there.

I have feared death since my mom died when I was ten. to me it seems a lifetime.. I am now 41. This fear overshadows most of my fears. As I do get older and experience life it seems to lift a bit each day. I have learned to live life and enjoy it. There is nothing that will put life into as much perspective as losing a parent when you are young. In some ways I am grateful to have the experience young as I can help people in their pain when they too face their parents deaths and thus fear their own deaths.