Using EFT for changing behaviour

[Rosi]

I would be interested to hear if anyone has any experience of using EFT to help change their own behaviour, for example to overcome an addiction or to beat procrastination. I have been reading about EFT but it seems to be more to do with "accepting" problems in your life.
If I don't want to simply accept that I procrastinate or have a hopelessly inefficient work style or am not motivated (just a few examples) but actually want to do something about these problems do you think there is any way EFT could help?

People say you can use it for almost anything but I'm having trouble with working out how to do the wording so that it could be effective. I don't want to try it until I'm sure I won't be doing anything counterproductive.

Any help would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!

[ReallyGoodIdeas]

Hey Rosi, It's never counterproductive, you can never get it wrong. What you need to do is start with the problem, say procrastination, OK?
Measure the strength of feeling out of 10 first.
Do the process (either the basic recipe or the shortcut process from my homepage) on:

Even though I procrastinate, I love and accept myself completely,

use "procrastinate" as your reminder words.

While you're doing it, keep your mind open to any thoughts that might pop up. They might seem related or not, also check your body for any symptoms that come up.

So when you've finished, if the feeling isn't 0/10, (or you don't feel that you just MUST finish that work you'd been putting off ;-)), you can do another round on the "remaining feeling of procrastination". Or you may want to move onto tapping on the feelings that popped up. You will be led gently to the core of your issue that way.

EFT doesn't help you accept your problems, tapping on them makes them go away. But you accept yourself with the problems in order to discover why you have them and then tap on them to get rid of them. While you're fighting them, you give them strength. Like the War on Terror!

And whatever words work best for you is the way. Describe your problem as you see it, change the words to better reflect excatly how you feel. You'll be fine. Let us know how you go!
PS I did one shortcut round on procrastination as a joke while a client was leaving once. In the next 24 hours i got all those annoying little jobs done without even thinking of it! :-)

[Andy]

ReallyGoodIdeas has some...really good ideas , and I'd also say there really isn't a way to do EFT "wrong" such that it does anything counter to your efforts. It mostly removes the emotional charge from whatever you use it on, a problem, thought, behavior, a memory etc.

I've used it on procrastination before and it's helped. I used to always get this feeling of dread whenever I approached something that I felt I had to do, such as some project being due. It was like some kind of resistance pushing me away from whatever I had to do. Recently I encountered one of these familiar situations and decided it was about time I worked on it with EFT. It was quite interesting to find out how many different thoughts/beliefs were contributing to my procrastination such as perfectionism, fear of failure, feeling I needed to be entertained all the time, that I couldn't do it right or that I didn't know how to do it. It took a good bit of rewording of phrases I used to get some significant results. While I don't have perfect motivation now, the anxious feeling has lost a lot of power over me, and I can usually look past it and get to doing what I want done. It's a big improvement for some things, but for others I still lack some motivation.

Getting the wording to really nail an issue can take some time, a lot of it is just experimenting with saying whatever comes to mind when thinking about procrastination, such as "I hate this" "I should've done this earlier" or "if I don't do this it'll be horrible", and then after those are worked on, usually related thoughts come to the surface which can then be used. Also what helped me was reading through the different cases/stories on the EFT website, good examples of wording there.

[shesaboutspirit]

I'm just so relieved that I'm not the only one having those thoughts

You've inspired me to get back to tapping. Thank you.

Pam

[Rosi]

Thank you to Really good Ideas and to Andy. Your replies are very helpful. I tried a bit of EFT yesterday but didn't have much success. It was my first time trying. I didn't feel as if anything was happening. I did 3 different sets of wording on related issues. I didn't get to zero on anything though. I nonetheless felt some improvment in my work in the morning. By the afternoon any benefit had gone and in the evening I had a blazing headache (very unusal for me).

From reading your replies I think I need to spend a lot more time with different wording and various side issues. I found guilt to be also associated and that is a hard one to work on.

Do you think that EFT can be a bit like Detox - it gets worse before it gets better, as the nasty issues come to the surface to be dealt with?

I'm not completely disheartened after my lack of success yeesterday. I think it's just beginner's uncertainties and lack of practice. I will have a longer go over the weekend when I have time to work on lots of related issues. I'll let yo know what the outcome is.

[ReallyGoodIdeas]

Yeah - that can happen sometimes.

When you don't get to zero, that means there's something behind it. Maybe the guilt you mentioned. It can be like pealing an onion sometimes. What I'd suggest is that you do your best to stick to the point. When I first did EFT, lots of things kept popping up, and I moved from one to the other without finishing one first. If the guilt is associated with the procrastination, do the guilt and if it leads somewhere else, go there, but make sure you come back and check the guilt and then check the procrastination before you finish. What is their strength out of 10?

Sometimes it's like an iceberg, and the procrastination is just the bit above the surface! So it CAN take time sometimes.

Andy's coments are great - that's the way to go, whatever you think is what to tap on.

Personally, I'd have tapped on the procrastination coming back in the afternoon, and the headache in the evening (but then, I tap on everything). I'm guessing they're related to the core issue in there that doesn't want to budge.

If you're using the Basic Recipe you might like to try the shortcut version on my homepage. Gary Craig uses that usually these days. It works just as well, and is quicker and easier.

Andy's also correct - check the emofree.com webpage for case studies and see if they resonate with you.

Good luck - happy thanksgiving!
Hazel

[Erki]

I have a couple of questions.

Your shortcut process says that I should tap while saying the reminder words.
So the "Even though I have this problem, I love and accept myself completely" shoud be said only hen tapping the point on the endge of the hand? And when tapping those 8 points, I should only say the reminder words? Like "procrastination" or "being angry on Jim"?

Also, should I tap only one point at once 5-7 times and move on to the next till I'm in the end?

[ChampionsChoice]

Originally Posted by Erki

I have a couple of questions.

Your shortcut process says that I should tap while saying the reminder words.
So the "Even though I have this problem, I love and accept myself completely" shoud be said only hen tapping the point on the endge of the hand? And when tapping those 8 points, I should only say the reminder words? Like "procrastination" or "being angry on Jim"?

Also, should I tap only one point at once 5-7 times and move on to the next till I'm in the end?

I like to do the karate chop point about 14 times as I say "even though_______, I love and accept myself fully, and am willing to forgive and let go..." two times then move onto the other points by just saying the reminder words.

You seem to have the gist of it.

[Velvet]

I've tried EFT and TAT--the TAT was with a practitioner, but the EFT has just been from the manual and videos. I've found it helpful, but I came across a weird limitation today--I was doing the set-up, and it occurred to me that with a certain problem I'm experiencing, I DON'T love and accept myself. I hate that I have this problem, and I don't know how to get around my resistence. This problem makes me feel hopeless and quite repulsed by myself. Any ideas? This hasn't happened before.

[ChampionsChoice]

Originally Posted by Velvet

I've tried EFT and TAT--the TAT was with a practitioner, but the EFT has just been from the manual and videos. I've found it helpful, but I came across a weird limitation today--I was doing the set-up, and it occurred to me that with a certain problem I'm experiencing, I DON'T love and accept myself. I hate that I have this problem, and I don't know how to get around my resistence. This problem makes me feel hopeless and quite repulsed by myself. Any ideas? This hasn't happened before.

Sounds like an addiction. I have dealt with a few of those myself in my time. Even if it isn't an addiction the bottom line is you probably have something even deeper as root issue that needs to be addresssed. See if you can do some tapping about other issues a little deeper.

Also please be gentle with youself. Understand that it is ONLY listening to the thoughts of your ego that tries to imprison you in those feelings of guilt and hoplelessness.

If there is anything I can do to help, please pm me and we can discuss this further.

[ReallyGoodIdeas]

I'd go with championsChoice there too, there's something underneath this issue. It's obviously causing you major pain and guilt. If it's only this issue that's the problem, (and I'm generalising here), ca I suggest, changing the last part from "love and accept myself" to something like, "I choose to bless and release this feeling". So "even though I have this problem, and I don't know why, I choose to bless and release this feeling now". Pay particular attention to any thoughts that pop up while you tap around. If you can get underneath the problem, or gain more insight into it, after tapping on a few aspects of it, you should find yourself more able to "love and accept" yourself.

Joy to you
Hazel

[ReallyGoodIdeas]

Oh and of course, "Even though I feel repulsed because of this, I shoose to bless and release this revulsion", deal with your feelings about the problem, then dealing with the problem will be easier.
Joy
Hazel

[Velvet]

ReallyGoodIdeas and ChampChoice:

Thank you so much, this is helpful. (CC, I sent you a PM, too).

It's not so much guilt as shame, but the process sounds similar.

If I can help others by being open here, the problem is wanting to be free from the feelings of romantic longing for a man I'm in love with but who is not emotionally or physically available right now.

I miss him, which triggers these feelings of abandonment, loneliness, unworthiness, hopelessness that I'll ever have a normal, satisfying relationship free of all this drama and up-and-down and cat-and-mouse, etc.

[ReallyGoodIdeas]

Hey Velvet,

To be perfectly honest as well, been there, done that myself! You say it triggers eelings of abandonment etc. Same here. Question is, when did you FIRST feel abandonment (etc)? I went through exactly the same thing, and realised I had been feeling abandoned ever since my parent's divorce when I was young.

Thing about it yourself. When did you first feel abandoned? Use that specific event to do EFT on. If you do that and you can think of other events that also triggered the same feeling, tap on those as well. After dealing with a couple of these events, you'll feel completely differently!

Joy to you
Hazel

[Velvet]

Hazel:

Thank you for your advice and support. Generally, I'm feeling light-hearted about all this, and it's getting better, with just these occasional pangs. I'm confident EFT and other similar approaches will help.

V.