On fear

[RedPanda]

Hi all, I started a journal today and this short piece on fear just sort of splurged out on the first page. I'm posting it here (pretty much unedited)because - well, you'll see why if you read it.

In this book I begin the journey towards my new self. The me who will leave my current workplace for the last time in May next year with a clear idea of my goals and the means I will use to achieve them. In here I must be ruthlessly honest with myself. There is a part of me that is keeping me from really setting out what I want and going after it.
I think that part of me is largely motivated by fear. Fear of failure. Fear of being condemned as a failure. In fact, an underlying fear of interacting with, I was going to say other people but, actually, strangers. Because, I think, I'm afraid of being thought foolish by them. That's a stupid fear, but it's what's right at the core of who I am.
I drink because it takes away the fear and makes me forget I have to face up to it someday if I want to live my life fully. I avoid social interactions, even 'phone calls, because I don't want to face that fear. Because I'm not great at small talk and afraid of appearing awkward.
I didn't really plan to write this, but it is definitely true. I know intellectually that I must overcome this fear but I don't yet feel it in my heart. For me now this is the most important thing I must do.
Overcome the fear.

[AndyMartin]

RedPanda,

Fear is the universal root obstacle that we all contend with. Realizing this is so empowering. Now for the next step, try to understand what it is you fear. Imagine you've been in a dark room for years, crouching in the corner because on the other side there is a snake poised to strike. Then one day somebody walks in and turns on the light and you see that it's just a piece of rope coiled up on the floor. When the light goes out, your fear of the snake does not return; you know that the object of your fear was an illusion and it no longer has power over you.

This is the same thing you are just beginning to experience: illuminating your fear so that it loses its power over you. What you will find is that all fears spring from a single universal fear: the ego's fear of annihilation, or the loss of egoic identity. That is what drives your mind to create all of these convolutions of fear and conditioning that create suffering in life. When you really start to realize that all of these snakes in the room are just ropes, you can start discarding the useless ones and putting the others to use.

You are off to a great start! Try to become aware of when you feel the fear welling in you. Don't try to fight it off or change it. Just accept it for what it is. Don't think about it, just watch yourself experiencing the fear. Gradually you will stop identifying with the fear and it will become inert and fall away.

Good luck!
Andy

[gberardi]

Congratulations on recognizing fear as an obstacle!

I have listened to Steve Chandler's 100 Ways to Motivate Yourself, and he makes an interesting point about fear: Love and fear are opposites. The most creative things created were created with love. Fear, on the other hand, is destructive.

Sometimes I find myself becoming afraid that I am failing, but I realize that it isn't strangers that worry me. It's scarier that I am letting myself down. I know what I am capable of, and anytime I don't even try to exercise my capabilities, I basically feel that I've wasted yet another opportunity.

Originally Posted by Marianne Williamson

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. It's not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

[RedPanda]

AndyMartin, gberardi, thanks both of you. Putting this out there was the first step to overcoming that fear. To get two such thoughtful and intelligent responses straight off is just fantastic Again, thanks. My other hope is that my message will resonate with others who feel the same way and maybe encourage them. We'll see.