crushing disappointment

[cdn2wheeler]

OK folks, I need some major help here.

Over the past couple of weeks I had two extraordinary interviews with an excellent company who was looking for exactly my skill-set. I was very excited about the possibility of working for this company and all seemed to be falling into place perfectly.

Well, I found out about twenty minutes ago that I was denied the job.

To say that I'm crushed would be putting it mildly. I hesitate to use the word "devastated" because that might be overstating the case - after all, I haven't lost a child or had my house swept away in a flood - but the feeling is an overpowering sense of loss and crushing disappointment.

All the LoA, all the detachment, all the positive vibes, all the work, the meditation, the preparation and everything came to... nothing.

Please, no "this only means that there's something better coming along" stuff. I've been putting off my life for decades because there may be something better around the corner.

I'm fully aware that how I respond to this disappointment is more than half the result. But right now - as I sit here and type this - the sense of loss is shattering.

I need answers, I need positive results, and I need them now.

Not next year. Not next month. Not next week. Not tomorrow.

Now.

[Angela]

Hey, cdn, imagine it's me in that same position (and it could very well be, in January! more on that later).

What advice do you give me? I'm feeling pretty powerless about this, and I need your wise words.

[cdn2wheeler]

Originally Posted by Angela

Hey, cdn, imagine it's me in that same position (and it could very well be, in January! more on that later).

What advice do you give me?

Drink. Heavily.

[Angela]

Originally Posted by cdn2wheeler

Drink. Heavily.

There you go, then!

I have a feeling you'd probably have a little more than that for me. Anyway, I quit drinking in August. Give it to me, baby! Don't leave me this way.

[Angela]

By the way, I just read Steve's blog post, Career Transitions, and found it pretty helpful in facing my situation. And I'm clinically depressed!!

[Honeywith4bees]

This may or may not be of any help, but here goes:

Two weeks ago I interviewed for a job that was a bit above my reach. The pay rate was exactly what I had been intending for myself, the atmosphere was just what I wanted !! For years I have been carrying around the "I am worthless" mindset and settling for less career wise (among other things). This job opportunity came out of nowhere, they were pursuing me! Then at the last minute, a "more suitable candidate" applied for the position.

Needless to say, I was upset. But, I do believe that if I keep applying the necessary actions, something just as good, or better, will occur.

It happens to us all.
Try not to let your disappointment in this pursuit bring you down (for long, anyway.)
I'm rooting for you!

[seeker5]

Originally Posted by cdn2wheeler

All the LoA, all the detachment, all the positive vibes, all the work, the meditation, the preparation and everything came to...

I have been authorized to tell you this. The setback you just went through the last two interviews are a test to see how strong you are and how true you are to praticing the above no matter what. These tests are scheduled to be given regularly.

[Ree]

Sorry.......There may not be a better job around the corner.

In actuality, maybe the message is that you aren't meant to work for someone else. Perhaps you are destined for other, bigger, better things!!

In other words, maybe you're aiming too low. This might be a good time to sit back, pour yourself a little single malt scotch, and completely reassess your abilities, your desires and your goals.

Have you checked out this website?

The Work of Byron Katie
The Work of Byron Katie

Good luck!

[Rose of Cairo]

Ree is right darling, I agree with her. I know you're not meant to have such a job anyway. Honestly, is that really what your heart is into? Is that really the greatest job you can imagine having? Maybe you need to fail a few times in order to understand that.

Or maybe you need to fail a few times till you learn to remain positive no matter what happens to you. I like very much what seeker5 wrote

Hang in there, the good thing is that now we're all here for you, hugging and comforting you

[Angela]

Originally Posted by Rose of Cairo

Hang in there, the good thing is that now we're all here for you, hugging and comforting you

Yup, hugs and smooches, all for you, you, we do it all for you!

[Lola]

I'll go drink with ya - the other girls can take care of the huggy kissy stuff. We can drown your sorrows and talk trash.

And later, when you're back to your old sensible self, we'll talk about this

I've been putting off my life for decades because there may be something better around the corner.
~cdn2wheeler

and how it relates to this

Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans.
~John Lennon

[Angela]

Originally Posted by Lola

I'll go drink with ya - the other girls can take care of the huggy kissy stuff.

Yeah, she says that, but she'll just end up hugging and kissing you, too -- watch out!!

Don't forget that no matter the circumstances of your life, who you are is a leader, a teacher, a protector and a provider. That is who you are.

[Lola]

Originally Posted by Angela

Yeah, she says that, but she'll just end up hugging and kissing you, too -- watch out!!

It's true that there are no guarantees once the drinking starts!

[Rose of Cairo]

Originally Posted by Angela

Yeah, she says that, but she'll just end up hugging and kissing you, too -- watch out!!

Naturally. Which woman would be strong enough not to do so?

Originally Posted by Angela

Don't forget that no matter the circumstances of your life, who you are is a leader, a teacher, a protector and a provider. That is who you are.

She's right, cdn. Who you are in your very core is untouchable. No extern circumstance, no **** happening to you can ever devaluate that. This very core of yours is what we love and what you should be proud of no matter what happens around it!

*hug and kiss*

[Savage]

No job? Gratz!

[Marian]

BREATHE IN, BREATHE OUT…

for now. later, meditate upon this situation/your expectations & your reaction.

[nick pagan]

The best book that I have ever read on Job Hunting is "What Color Is Your Parachute" and it's packed full of good, practical advice. From memory, some of the advice to follow with your current disappointment is to write and express you thanks for accepting you for interview and that you still have a lot of interest in the position and the company. You can use the letter to subtly re-emphasize how you can solve their problems for them. Then see if you can keep tabs on the filled position. Sometimes a new person will quit (or be fired) quickly if things don't work out. If this happens then you can submit your application again.

I know that it's a long shot and I don't want to give out false hope, but it is at least a practical response.

The other way to deal with disappointment in the job hunt is to have a rolling campaign that uncovers multiple opportunities so that you don't put all of you hopes into one thing. Then when disappointment hits you have other prospects coming along and keeping you upbeat and interested.

Nick Pagan

[dancer]

CDN, we are on the same ship and I feel your frustration and disappointment. I recently interviewed 3 times with a company and I'd mentally signed the contract after the first interview. Exhausting, to say the least.

Is it possible to negotiate with your current employer to rework your current position to match the challenges you are seeking? You mentioned in another post you wanted to work for a larger international firm, but my question popped in and it felt like intiution.

Review your interview and consider if you are overselling yourself? Oversell, might be the wrong word, are you too keen and giving off desperation vibes?

btw. how's your hang-over?

[Pegasus]

Hey cdn, you are not alone! Having had recent training (which I fear is in the wrong direction; will save that for another thread), I have been going through the job search process, too. Meanwhile I am working for two temp agencies. I have been working at a long-term assignment at a company I like and I was just start to "click" with one of the employees. Just came home to a voice mail message last night that my assignment is over.

Originally Posted by cdn2wheeler

I need answers, I need positive results, and I need them now.

As much as you don't want to hear this, the answers are already within you. The universe is planning something big for you. Perhaps you already got positive results in some unforeseen way, you just don't know it yet.

Originally Posted by cdn2wheeler

Not next year. Not next month. Not next week. Not tomorrow. Now.

The universe cannot be rushed! I know it's really difficult, especially around the holidays when everyone acts all cheerful and you're stuck where you don't want to be. We tend to associate this time of year as a time for transitions.

Sorry, this is more commiseration than advice!

Good luck!

[munish]

Originally Posted by cdn2wheeler

OK folks, I need some major help here.

To say that I'm crushed would be putting it mildly. but the feeling is an overpowering sense of loss and crushing disappointment.

This is a natural part of human life.But you can transform these emotions into joy.

http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/200...oy-of-sadness/

Originally Posted by cdn2wheeler

All the LoA, all the detachment, all the positive vibes, all the work, the meditation, the preparation and everything came to... nothing.

Emotional storms come and go.Dont identify with these.Sit under a tree ,watch others,your thoughts.These will loosen its grip and will disappear.

http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/200...ty-simplified/

Originally Posted by cdn2wheeler

Please, no "this only means that there's something better coming along" stuff. I've been putting off my life for decades because there may be something better around the corner.

I'm fully aware that how I respond to this disappointment is more than half the result. But right now - as I sit here and type this - the sense of loss is shattering.

I need answers, I need positive results, and I need them now.

Not next year. Not next month. Not next week. Not tomorrow.

Now.

You are on the right path.I also had these kind of thoughts ,even now these negative emotions comes once in a while.But go away in a few hours max.But dont drink or watch TV,otherwise you will not learn anything from these.

You can also read this.

Eckhart Tolle Biographical Info (Telegraph Magazine)

[justfiverules]

OP - have you seen Lola's George Carlin quote in her sig file? Works for me...