Just Sad

[Enlightenment]

I get so frustrated that I turn the anger in towards me and start feeling really sad. Lately I haven't been receiving my mail, I suppose for various reasons, but it is really getting me down because my kids aren't getting their Christmas cards from relatives and I feel responsible. I've done everything to track this mail, calling the post office, the post station, putting up signs for the mail carrier, but to no avail. I finally had to call the police and report it, but they came by and they didn't believe me. They talked to the guy upstairs who admitted that he had been getting my mail, but that he sent it back. It really is petty and I think everyone just thinks I'm the 'crazy' one. They told me just to call the post office again, but the post office tells me to call police. I really can't take it anymore. We don't have much right now and I feel like I can't provide for my children as it is, but for their Christmas cards and packages not to be delivered is heartbreaking. I don't know how to handle it any longer. It's just so sad and I'm crying right now as I write this. I'm just sad, does anyone have any encouraging words.

[m0vingon]

I'm sorry you're struggling right now. It must be very frustrating for you when you feel as if you've hit a dead end like that. Take heart, I'm sure the kids will not blame you for the post office's error.

It sounds as thought the issue with the mail is really tied in with your concerns about not being able to give your kids enough during this holiday season. If I'm reading you wrong, I apologize. But if that is the case, perhaps acknowledging that fact may lighten the frustration a little.

I would say that while you may not be able to control the postal issues you're dealing with, you can find other ways to create a fabulous holiday. Try brainstorming ways to create lasting memories with your kids that don't involve material items. Off the top of my head, I'd say gather the family for some outdoor fun, or try establishing a new tradition like watching a specific holiday movie as a family. I dont' know the ages of your kids, but maybe have each of them contribute and idea or project for the family to do together. Then you'll have multiple opportunities to have fun together and everyone will get a chance to do something they enjoy.

Maybe I'm naive, but I still believe that while the gifts come and go, the memories of joyful times with family are what last a lifetime.

[Honeywith4bees]

I'm really sorry Enlightenment, that you are feeling so down right now.

I remember some pretty tough holidays with my kids when they were young. Before my ex husband and I separated, it would be routine for him to either come home drunk, drugged out or not at all on the holidays. I'd be mad, hurt and depressed. But I really tried hard to provide little things for the kids, and like m0vingon said, they remember those things! We made a ritual of walking around our neighborhood in the evening and looking at peoples Christmas light displays, we borrowed every holiday video from the library that they had and watched together while eating popcorn, one year when they were in school, I asked the teacher for some construction paper to take home and we made holiday decorations out of it. We had a blast and I treasure those memories as well.

Please, take heart, and remember that this situation that you find yourself facing right now, is only temporary. You can make things different if you want to! Good luck!

[himalaya7]

Enlightenment,
When I was a kid my mom and I used to draw and color greeting cards for each other and place them in envelopes and draw a make-believe stamp on the addressed envelope, then we would each 'deliver' the 'mail' to the other's seat at the dinner table. I looked forward to the process and the experience.

I hope the mail issues are being resolved - you sound like a very caring parent and you are the best gift your kids could get.

Best wishes for the holidays.

[himalaya7]

One of the most important lessons that kids learn from parents is how to handle stressful events big and small. You might consider using the mail situation as a teaching experience.
Ask yourself how you would like them to handle this sort of thing when they are adults, and then be a model of that behavior.
It doesn't matter that you may have to 'act' or 'pretend' that your serenity is all intact. And often, just by 'acting' serene and joyful, one becomes so.
I think that Movingon says it well: "while the gifts come and go, the memories of joyful times with family are what last a lifetime." And lessons on coping, that are learned from loving parents, are also a gift forever.

[Megan]

My preference is to rent a box and pick up my mail and packages directly from the Post Office. Inconvenient, and a bit of expense, but more private and secure.

Hope things are going better for you.

[evelynlim]

Get hold of yourself, Enlightenment. View things in perspective. Be grateful for the things you already have. Spend some time counting your blessings. Think of the millions of people who don't even have a PC connection to access the web for help.

Make the best out of your situation. Think creatively on how you can make this an enjoyable Christmas for your kids. Very often, it is not the cards and the gifts that they receive. It is the time that you enjoy together.

Take care. You are in my thoughts.

Evelyn

[Love]

I also agree that it may helpful to take a different look on the holidays. I remember a time when my mother gave all us kids about $15 and told us to buy a present for someone else. It wasn't much money but we all found something to give each other, and were all happy. Plus, it took the burden off of my mother as being seen as the provider.

I also remember watching the show, "Seventh Heaven" which is about a minister's family. On the show, for Christmas, the parents put all the names of the family into a hat, and each kid/adult draws one name. Then they have to get a gift for someone without paying any additional money for it. So they could make a gift, give something of theirs away, provide a service, or ask someone else to do them a favor. I always thought it was a good idea.

And I agree that a P.O. box might be a temporary solution to future mail issues.