Contantly Comparing

[trixxy]

I was wondering if anybody has any tips on how to stop comparing ones self to other people who have life much better than you. I find myself always comparing myself to the rich and famous. It is very difficult to improve myself when I'm alway imagining the impossible. Any tips? This is making me very depressed.

[sadavis00]

Firstly, find "signature strengths". Those little things you do so well. Get your "I'm better than you" happiness from these signature strengths.

Secondly, find the major source of you happiness that is something that is not relatively compared, like watching a good movie with a good friend (if you have the latter that is, I am sure everyone has the former

Thirdly, compare only with your peers, and rely on signature strengths when doing so (just an aside, change peers if you change your goals). Think of it as a race, the rich and famous has so far ahead, they are barely visible, they are actually not even in the same race, they are in their own race where they compare themselves with their peers. When running a marathon, you would never compare youself with the spectator who is just standing still, he is not in the race, just like how the rich and famous are not in the same race as you.

[TheFlyingMan]

I would say, accept your thoughts. Just watch them, with a loving feeling. Thoughts are just thoughts you don't have to believe them.

You are becoming more unhappy if you try to fight your thoughts. It's true that your thoughts have a big effect on your feelings / emotions, but if you fight them, it's just deeper self-violence.

Find Love for yourself. Think loving thoughts towards yourself. Hold and embrace your sad emotions, let them be there. Play with loving energy, even. Let that slowly melt away all these thoughts, which are most likely symptoms of low self esteem, and not really comparing.

Hope that helps