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Emotional Mastery Emotional intelligence, addiction and recovery, grieving, loss, fear, anger, guilt, resentment, frustration, anxiety, depression, happiness, joy, love, kindness, forgiveness, self-acceptance, confidence, escaping the pit of despair, EFT


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Old 12-11-2007, 11:10 PM
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Default How long does anger last for you?

I was just wondering: how long would you say that anger lasts for you on average?

I just can't stay angry at people. In fact, I often have trouble vocalizing my anger because I can't stay angry long enough to finish the sentence. It's a flash emotion. A quick "grrr" and then I'm my cool self again.

The one exception is written communication, e-mail in particular. I can write long angry e-mails, but I refrain from those because they never get me results (apart from when you're dealing with asinine treat-clients-like-a-number corporations, then it's the only way to go apparently).
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Old 12-12-2007, 01:17 AM
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I am not quite as fast as your are, but i am usually over it after 5-15 minutes, sometimes quicker. It also kinda depends what you did to make me angry, if its something severe, id stay angry longer.

But so far 5-15 minutes seems to be the standard for me.

I can stay angry at myself for much much longer though ... yay
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Old 12-12-2007, 02:50 AM
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Me, it's 20 mins. But I'll be on and off for the whole day, so it might add up to a few hours.
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Old 12-12-2007, 04:11 AM
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I'm fairly slow to anger so I don't experience it much but when I do I tend to stay angry (in an active state) for anywhere from 15 minutes to maybe 2 hours. That said I don't necessarily feel peaceful or even neutral towards the person with whom I am angry until some sort of resolution is achieved.

And with one particular person in my life I found myself being angry everytime I saw him for a couple of weeks. I hated feeling that way but felt very betrayed and frustrated and I guess that was the easiest reaction in the beginning.
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Last edited by Jenny : 12-12-2007 at 04:12 AM. Reason: fixed typo
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Old 12-12-2007, 05:57 AM
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Anger for me I'm lucky if it lasts beyond 5 minutes. I tend to be an even keel person emotionally, I try not to get caught up in negative emotions. I've learned to walk away from situations and regather my thoughts before I do or say something I may later regret.

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Old 12-12-2007, 06:57 AM
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It depends on who is it that makes me angry. If it's someone i dont really care about, i get agitated for a moment, turned away and wish that i never need to talk to him again. Perhaps such anger/hatred lay sublime in me yet i never bother to bother about it.

If it's someone i love or care about, i would turn upset and disappointed, instead of angry. I simply dont have the heart to be ANGRY with people whom i love / care about. And when i am upset this way, i really hurts me for a damn long period of time.

Am i actually confused with my different aspects of emotion?? i really dont know.

I find it useful to be able to choose what we want to feel, as in logic precedes emotion. I do well of that. Yet i have to concur that not in all cases are we able to think logically with sound mind before a particular emotion arise.
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Old 12-12-2007, 12:11 PM
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It depends actually. If I'm angry over something someone did in respect to me, sometimes for minutes, sometimes for hours, usually never more than a day though, and then I move on and let bygones be bygones.

When I think about it I tend to forgive others much more easily than I tend to forgive myself.

But, if the somebody hurt someone I care about, and that's why I'm angry, my anger can very well last a lifetime, cause I find it hard to forgive what is done to those I care about. I can only do it really, if I'm convinced the person I care about forgives the other one himself.

I can cool down my anger to zilch by picking a situation apart at times, if I get the chance to take a step back and think things through. Often it only needs a few moments in quiet to defuse the anger and the uproar dies down. It's just my temper flares up so quickly I don't always manage to stay ahead of the heatwave and remove myself from the scene to get those few moments of quiet and cool down.

It's something that takes practice, I guess. But worth trying time and again, cause at least I usually feel rotten whenever I give in to expressing my anger full force. It leaves me drained and upset and unhappy, cause afterwards when I've calmed down I usually come up with solutions that seemed much more appropriate and mature for handling the situation.

I'm not really fond of the emotion "anger" on the whole, it's better than being depressed and defenseless I guess, but caught up in it full force it's difficult to reign yourself in, like trying to wrestle down a furious tiger.
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Old 12-12-2007, 06:27 PM
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Those are some pretty interesting responses.

I'll be more or less angry depending on the severity of the offense, but other circumstances have no influence.

What does change with the circumstance is the amount of frustration I have afterwards. I some how need to reach the point where I can conclude there was nothing I could have done differently to avoid the conflict. Frustration is also always directed inward.
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Old 12-12-2007, 09:30 PM
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A lot of times I find myself amused when most people would be angry, but when I do get angry, rarely beyond five minutes.
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Old 12-12-2007, 09:51 PM
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Most of the time people, ... men don't take me seriously when I get angry, they think it's funny or cute and they say something silly and make me smile or giggle a little - or if not, then I just start crying and they get all out of sorts and uncomfortable . If I get in a fight with someone, though, and we get angry at each other, I forget quickly what I was angry about and what the fight was, but it makes for a pretty miserable time for me if the other person holds grudges or clings to his anger.

If I get angry at a man I love, he can easily talk me into forgiving him at the same time. If you won't forgive someone, you don't love them.
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Old 12-13-2007, 05:23 AM
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In general, I stay angry for a few hours. I definitely CANNOT let things go in 5 minutes, or even 20 minutes.

I am emotionally volatile, and very sensitive. However, I do try to control my reactions. Now, I walk it off instead of "talking" it off (which leads to saying damaging things).
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