Do u Avoid Negative People??

[Angelwings]

Hi everyone.

I realised much of my prespective about reality, insecurities, fault thinking, negativity, stress, worry could be due to unconscious influnced by sarcastic, unmotivated, less action oriented friends of mine.

My friends are full of BS, they complain alot more than taking Actions. I realised much of my Doom and complaining attitude somehow I m behaving like them too.
I know i shouldnt let external reality influence me; but i cant but unsconciously slowly influenced- its like the pharse " You're are who u hang out with" Its not easy to stay positive when my friends are so negative all the time, I m trying to get out of negative state and install a new positive believes but my friends are constantly rubbing off their negative doom attitudes on me.

Here's my Question for everyone:

1/ Do I remove myself from Negative influenced?
Remember: these group of people have been my friends for years.
I feel guilty to remove myself from them, dimiss them, socialised less with them. I feel that its for my own good,if i want to be mentally positive+healthy.
I dont want them to be in my life anymore. How do i do it??
At the same time, I m angry with myself because I think i had invested sooo MUCH TIME + ENERGY with these people and I gained NOTHING but Stress!
I dont feel like putting much effort with people anymore especially friends. I should put my effort at home with my brothers and sister because I ve poor relationships with them.

2/ Do i surround myself with positive people to be successful?
what if i cant find positive people in my surrounding, right now.

3/ How do i stay Positive and not be influenced by Any situation/ circumstances"??

Any thoughts?

[impaul99]

Originally Posted by Angelwings

Hi everyone.

I realised much of my prespective about reality, insecurities, fault thinking, negativity, stress, worry could be due to unconscious influnced by sarcastic, unmotivated, less action oriented friends of mine.

My friends are full of BS, they complain alot more than taking Actions. I realised much of my Doom and complaining attitude somehow I m behaving like them too.
I know i shouldnt let external reality influence me; but i cant but unsconciously slowly influenced- its like the pharse " You're are who u hang out with" Its not easy to stay positive when my friends are so negative all the time, I m trying to get out of negative state and install a new positive believes but my friends are constantly rubbing off their negative doom attitudes on me.

Here's my Question for everyone:

1/ Do I remove myself from Negative influenced?
Remember: these group of people have been my friends for years.
I feel guilty to remove myself from them, dimiss them, socialised less with them. I feel that its for my own good,if i want to be mentally positive+healthy.
I dont want them to be in my life anymore. How do i do it??
At the same time, I m angry with myself because I think i had invested sooo MUCH TIME + ENERGY with these people and I gained NOTHING but Stress!
I dont feel like putting much effort with people anymore especially friends. I should put my effort at home with my brothers and sister because I ve poor relationships with them.

2/ Do i surround myself with positive people to be successful?
what if i cant find positive people in my surrounding, right now.

3/ How do i stay Positive and not be influenced by Any situation/ circumstances"??

Any thoughts?

(1) The short answer is yes. I too have had "negative" friends in my life and it felt "wrong" to abandon them. However, if you want to have a positive life you really have no choice because even if you don't "abandon" them, your positivity will piss them off so much that they won't want to hang out with you anyways.

Secondly, I wouldn't bother trying to help them become more positive as you're working on yourself. Just focus on yourself first. Let them learn from your example, if anything, not from you pointing out what they are doing wrong.

(2) Yes, find positive people that increase your energy. You can also think about places, not just people. For example, I used to live in the city close to a highway. Now I moved to a 5 acre estate where I'm surrounded by trees and beautiful nature and the energy here is so grounding. I can have a really bad day at work and come home and as soon as I pull into my driveway, I feel better instantly. As I'm walking up to my front door I can see my dog staring out the front window wagging his tail watching me come home. As I walk by the window he bolts for the door to greet me. It's a daily POSITIVE experience that puts a smile on my face.

So don't just think of people as positive influencers, although those are good. Think of places, environments, even pets.

ALSO, you might want to check out this article I wrote that talks about another way to connect with positive people:

Are Your Friends Preventing You From Being Rich? | Inspired Money Maker - How To Make Money Doing What You Love

(3) To stay positive you need to work on your reserves, practice, and I almost inevitably would have to say that you have to find a more direct connection to source (by whatever name you call it). Positive energy comes to us from Source Energy. You can get it from places, animals, people or whatever, but they get it from Source Energy so you are kind of "sucking their energy" if that is your only source. If, however, you develop your spiritual life and connect directly to source, when you get in contact with positive energies your energy will multiply theirs instead of draining it.



Hope that helps you to get started.

I know how you feel about "losing friends". However, don't think of it that way. You're just chosing a different type of energy in your life. Who knows, maybe your positivity will influence some of those friends to join you on the light side one day.

[Acting Like Godot]

Everyone in your life appeared in it for a reason. You attracted them into your life with your thoughts, attitudes and beliefs.

Now suppose you then start to change your thoughts, attitudes and beliefs, over a period of time, in a big way. Many of those people who were in your life will naturally begin to drop out.

And they will be replaced by new, different people, who are now being attracted into your life by your new, different thoughts.

[Acting Like Godot]

Originally Posted by Angelwings

3/ How do i stay Positive and not be influenced by Any situation/ circumstances"??

Personally I need to have my regular time alone, to sort out my thoughts. Like, REALLY need to have my regular time alone.

When colleagues ask me to join them for lunch, I often say "no, i've got an appointment". Actually, my appointment is with myself. I go off somewhere by myself and have lunch with me.

I need to withdraw from other people every now and then, to stay well. I also hate crowded places, they make me feel tired.

But maybe that's just me.

[Ernie]

It depends upon how well balanced you are emotionally and to what degree you have developed your consciousness. Otherwise, all experiences (people) have something to teach us.

[Lauxa]

Angelwings,

I agree with impaul99. If you change such that you are no longer a vibrational match for your friends, they will drift away anyways. By cutting back on the time you spend with them, you will open yourself up to attract new and more positive friends. If you can't find positive people right now, your life may be too clogged with negative people. I also did like impaul99's suggestion that you can get positive input from books, and to that I would add you can get positive input from podcasts.

The first step to change is noticing how you feel. Do you like being with your current friends or not? Is there something else you like better? It can be hard to respect your own preferences and still come to them from a place of love, but I think that is the goal.

I had one friend that I hung out with a lot who was super negative and about a year after I got into PD he basically stopped talking to me. Now we talk once or twice a month at most. I was stressing about if I should see less of him, what I should do, and it just happened without effort. Remember that all your decisions are made in the present moment and try not to stress out too much about how it's going to work out or what you should do.

[jdub]

I would say you don't have to totally cut them off, but you need to spend much less time with them. You need to be around people who act how you want to act, because the general rule is you act like your friends act. So if you are just trying to be more positive, then yes you need to find some positive people to hang around.

[eblight]

Do something about your guilt. It is so destructive and keeps you doing what isn't right for you and then you end up feeling angry and ripped off. I can speak from experience here. Focus on what you like, what you are attracted to and more of the same will come your way. As that happens the negative people in your life will naturally fall away and you won't have to push them away. You and they will find you don't have much in common any longer. I know this is giving advice but I have learnt these things from my own experience. Go well.

[NotesMaeve]

Had to think... At the moment I really don't have anyone negative in my life. The last overwhelmingly negative person DID NOT get ditched by me. I told her how I feel about her, that I'd help her however I could. My condition for helping her through the tough time is that she wasn't allowed to berate me. She decided she would rather tell me how awful I am and how I thought I was better than her. Remember that you can't fix everyone, and letting someone go when all they want is to break free from their own pain but don't know how can sometimes be the kindest thing. Sometimes the hardest thing to do is to walk out with an open heart for when they do come around.

[Old Soul]

1) If I have to be around negative people, have dealings with negative people , at work place or home with family member - I take control of the conversation to elevate it to a higher quality of conversation, for both of our own good..
I see nothing good coming from misery, or self pity or cronic complaining, I think these people are stuck and they have no idea how draining , toxic they are on people , the best thing to do is to stop it dead in it tracks....in fact I would go as far as to say these people are not well, that is why they need to be redirected,

Wether they chose a life course which enables them to be this way is irrelevant to me, they are toxic and they need assistance, their quality of life is that of misery and complaints, looking for the negative , feeding off it, and it is a sad and miserable life which does indeed have a negative effect on those who come in contact with this type of person


Note" my deffenition of negative people has a broad deffention, it goes beyond negativity and pessimism , to a feeling of entitlement and self absorbtion

[Angelwings]

impaul99

Originally Posted by impaul99

(1) The short answer is yes. I too have had "negative" friends in my life and it felt "wrong" to abandon them. However, if you want to have a positive life you really have no choice because even if you don't "abandon" them, your positivity will piss them off so much that they won't want to hang out with you anyways.

Yeah, I m trying to do that, feels lonely though coz then i wont have any friends; a bit insecure about being alone. Often when i m alone I wud think i ve no friends; nobody likes me..
Nevertheless, i need to stay away from them because i m a SUCH a NEGATIVE MAGNET. I ve been sucking positive energy from Stevpav podcast.I listen to that everyday and read his articles aswell as go to d forum if got problems. Thanx, I really like yur website. If u dont mind me asking, are u rich now? I assume u are successful; if u dont mind sharing story.
What happened to yur negative friends now? R they still negative? Did yur success influenced one of them?
Do u have more positive friends now than negative"?
How draining do u find negative people?? Is it possible to be shielded from negative emotions from friends and not be influenced at all, it wud be great if there are ways, coz i realised there are TOO MANY ENERGY SUCKERS out there.

Old soul: see nothing good coming from misery, or self pity or cronic complaining, I think these people are stuck and they have no idea how draining , toxic they are on people , the best thing to do is to stop it dead in it tracks....in fact I would go as far as to say these people are not well

Yes, I m sort of like that, so therefore i m working on it now. Any clues, about stop drowning those positive people around me?

Acting Like Godot
I go off somewhere by myself and have lunch with me.

How cud u be positive again when u are by yurself. I often feel lonely then i get negative. Dont u feel lonely? Why do i feel this way? why do i need company even if its a bad company? How to rid tis neediness:>?


L

auxa
I agree with impaul99. If you change such that you are no longer a vibrational match for your friends, they will drift away anyways. By cutting back on the time you spend with them, you will open yourself up to attract new and more positive friends. If you can't find positive people right now, your life may be too clogged with negative people

NO positive ppl right now, all complainers and sufferers including myself. How do u recognise a Positive person? but sometime looks can be deceiving, I ve seen many people that goes around looking HAPPY but really, they have problems. Really shock most of the time to find out they are unhappy. So, how do u know if anyone is fulfilled, I cant tell, then how do i attract positive people if i cant judge if people are in positive state or not?

[Acting Like Godot]

Originally Posted by Angelwings

How cud u be positive again when u are by yurself. I often feel lonely then i get negative. Dont u feel lonely?

Nope. I can be quite happy all by myself.

[Spiritual]

I can second quite some things of Acting like Godot.

I too have problems with big cities which are very crowded, I just don't like the limitation in moving space and the loud noises, it's just tiresome. I prefer walking around int he city when it's calm and you can take your time to see whatever you want to see.

And I too, like Acting, can be very happy on my own. Some people just like to be around others to feel good I guess, there's always diffirence. But I think you're on the wrong side when you NEED others to feel good, there should never be a dependancy on others in my opinion.

But anyways, do I avoid negative people? I had a friend a few years ago, he was very sarcastic in his humor. And after a while I started to get sarcastic too. It was something unconscious of mine to be able to interact with others. But after a while I noticed that sarcasm was not my way of looking at life and so I stopped doing it.

I've had more people I interacted with regularly who were negative, and first I would put up with it, giving people a chance to show their true nature. But when they wouldn't show and just stay in the same problems over and over again, thus not growing, I would break up contacts and move on. I must tell you I've never had much difficulty breaking people from my lifes, I see it as a natural progress. You intereact with each other, and you grow and sometimes your growth can be supportive to each other for a lifetime and sometimes it just to much of a diffirence and you go your own seperate way.

I don't think the problem with negative people is avoiding them, but being unconscious while interacting with them. A lot people in the world are easily drawn to negative ideas these days. So when they interact with negative people who trigger those believes, you get a chainreaction. When we become conscious of what the other is transmitting, you can see for yourself, how do I feel about this and what do I want to do with the feelings this person has. Would it be something that I can use or not?

And I don't know if any of you had the experience of becoming conscious of someone else's complaining, that you just have to laugh about the other person. They are so constricted with their problem, which often isn't a problem after all, that it's just funny.

And to be honest, I had to laugh plenty of times about myself and issues aswell!

[Old Soul]

How cud u be positive again when u are by yurself. I often feel lonely then i get negative. Dont u feel lonely? Why do i feel this way? why do i need company even if its a bad company? How to rid tis neediness:>?

I actually enjoy my own company, I enjoy my own thoughts and energies, even if i do have a bad day, I absolutely refuse to compromise my own mental well being for the sake of company that is toxic and draining

I guess in your case perhaps you gain your strength from outer, like extroverts, thats ok, this is why you need to consider who you associate with

if i were in your shoes, and if* i were able / financially possible i would consider a different job,

[joelyle]

I share how life can be different for them. I have found that by being positive and concentrating conversations on reality (spirituality vs. materialism): the negative people "stay away".

[dancer]

[QUOTE=Angelwings;132678]
Nevertheless, i need to stay away from them because i m a SUCH a NEGATIVE MAGNET. I ve been sucking positive energy from Stevpav podcast.I listen to that everyday and read his articles aswell as go to d forum if got problems. How draining do u find negative people?? Is it possible to be shielded from negative emotions from friends and not be influenced at all, it wud be great if there are ways, coz i realised there are TOO MANY ENERGY SUCKERS out there.
QUOTE]

Why not try choosing to be a positive magnet and focus on the positive qualities of your friends and the people around you. You may be surprised. Earlier this year, I only focused on negativity and guess what? That was pretty much all I saw. If you expect evergy suckers then that is what you will probably get. Experiment a little and hopefully you will be surprised like I was.

[betlamed]

There are no negative people. All there is is my negative perception of certain behaviours, and that can be easily corrected by meditation, mindfulness practice and simply being in the Now. All it takes is time and dedication.

[robertanthony]

Hi Angelwings

I went through this process - it's about letting go of the old tribe so that you move into a new tribe of like minded people who dont waste time on negativity. What happens is....if you mention that your thinking has changed or that you are moving on...this can cause resentment as they think 'How dare you believe that you can be happier or do better than us'. This can highlight the fact that sometimes negative people really dont want you to be happy or successful - they want you to stay stuck with them - it's the old saying ' Misery Loves Company'.

I was hated for moving on but I am happy - they are not and they have only themselves to blame so there is no guilt involved on my part. Some people dont want to be helped or to change or to take action - they get off on moaning and attention seeking.

[responsibility]

I read somewhere these seemly external problems are actually internal. Perhaps it isn't them that is the problem, perhaps it's inside you, an internal conflict. You believe and complain about your friends being negative, and thus "your wish is my command" - your friends will continue to be negative.

Start believing and visualizing that your friends are overwhelmingly positive and optimistic and happy, then you'll start to see the changes.

[mintyway]

The problem might be internal AND external. I mean, if you spend time with people who are themselves internally stuck on a negative path, people who communicate only fear, despair, sarcasm, etc., then it's hard not to be overwhelmed yourself by these negative energies.

Realizing (after years) that you're surrounded by negative people is, IMHO, a big step toward more positivity. Perhaps it means that you've been very internally negative yourself during this time, but now you're seeing the brighter side of things and it makes you see the negativity when it's around you.

When I committed to improve myself a couple of years ago, I personally had to let go of a few friends whom I unsuccessfully tried to help when I realized they were extremely dark persons (just like I used to be). It was not an easy thing to do. But sometimes, when you try to go forward, some people will not understand what you're doing at all and will try to hold you back. With anger at times. You stop being in tune with them. If you explain what's happening and they give you the "you think you're better than me" attitude, I'm afraid it's time to let go and find new, more positive and interesting people. People with whom you can share things : give, and receive. Which is not possible with people whom there's no successful communication with anymore.

[Alex2007]

Originally Posted by impaul99

(1) The short answer is yes. I too have had "negative" friends in my life and it felt "wrong" to abandon them. However, if you want to have a positive life you really have no choice because even if you don't "abandon" them, your positivity will piss them off so much that they won't want to hang out with you anyways.

I think you ve made a very important point there impaul99. Yeah. If people talk to you, it is because of who you are. A negative to A negative. If you suddently change and you become better, wealthy, stronger, etc, they will all feel jelous and leave you. Negative people want you Negative because they associate with negativity!

So if you want to change into possitive you will have to forget your past acquaintances.

Thankz

[AspdenL]

I love your questions! Right up my alley! Thank you!

I am a life coach and law of attraction practitioner. Here is what I know will help you:

1. Like attracts like, if you are in negativity, you will attract more. On the same note, if you choose to be positive and not let them influence how you feel or react to them, you will start to attract more positive energy from your existing friends or new ones will emerge.

It may seem a little overwhemling to you at first, and it won't happen all at once but you can change it, you really can. Take it one step at a time. Go into gatherings with your friends with intention to stay positive regardless of what they say or do.

All the best....

[GoalSettingCollege]

Wow.. great discussion here. Well, my take is this. If you don't feel good mixing around with negative people, don't. There's so much thought about "being wrong to abandon others" but it probably aren't right making you do things that you dislike, isn't it?

If you don't love yourself enough to make yourself happy by avoiding such negative forces, you'll most likely feel so lousy about yourself that you can't do anything much to influence these negative people, as much as you would like to.

Love yourself and leave them for a while. Only when you're self loving and happy, can you really make a difference to help them.

Cheers,
Ellesse

[evelynlim]

Interesting discussion going on here. Angelwings, if your negative friends are causing you stress, then it is best not to hang around with them. It does not matter if you have invested time and energy into these relationships. There is no point thinking about the past. What is more important is to look forward. Do what feels right and whatever it takes to increase your positive energy vibrations.

Take care,
Evelyn

[coLLege kid07]

How cud u be positive again when u are by yurself. I often feel lonely then i get negative. Dont u feel lonely? Why do i feel this way? why do i need company even if its a bad company? How to rid tis neediness:>?


Believe or not the reason you have all the negative thought patterns is because your identifying with your mind. The book "The Power of Now" by Eckhert Tolke and can greatly help you with this. Trust me when I first bought the book I didn't know what to expect. I just thought the book would be another PD book for me to read. However I was wrong and this book totally transformed my life. Just remember PD is all about the journey not the destination. I'm sure you've heard this many times, but it wasn't until I "got it" intuitively that my life started to change.

EDIT::: All that matters is what your doing "NOW". What happened in the past or whats going to happen in the future doesn't matter...because you can't live in those times. You can't live in the past or the future.... you can only live in the NOW.