I'm in great pain.

[rapidsnyc]

I am having a overpowering crush on this certain girl I know. It's killing me. I can't sleep, eat... I had such a experience before couple of times and when I look back over it seems very foolish. I know this one is also gonna seem like that after some months.
But I can't help it. Please help me to end my sufferings

[cdn2wheeler]

Oh, love is such sweet sorrow. (ripped off from Big Bill Shakespeare... go lookit up)

Yes, it is foolish. Doesn't make it any less real, though. The racing mind, the fantasies, the knot in the belly, the inability to sleep...

Guess what?

You're normal. I'm not sure if that makes you feel better or not, but you are.

Have you spoken to this girl? Or is this infatuation-from-afar?

[ixmatus]

It's the hormone cocktail that explodes in your head. I get it all the time with strangers, more so than girls I actually know.

Focus that energy into a activity that doesn't relate to women and specifically the girl in question; go for a hike, a run, or beat Halo 3 on legendary.

[Bliss Sage]

Originally Posted by cdn2wheeler

Oh, love is such sweet sorrow. (ripped off from Big Bill Shakespeare... go lookit up)

Sorry, I couldn't resist - it's "Good night, good night! Parting is such sweet sorrow, that I shall say good night til it be morrow" Juliet said it to Romeo when he had to leave her -

*sigh* love love love love ...

[Gordon]

Well what is you want to do Rapid?

Faint heart, never won fair maiden.....

There is a world of difference between having a crush and actually doing something about it....and it's only down to you.

Ask her out for a coffee....always a nice start....

G

[rapidsnyc]

Well, I am not sure if it is love or just infatuation. Actually I come to analyse it psychologically and I think it is not crush that is creating pain, but it is the despair that she will not be mine.
The reason I think she will not be mine is this I think I not good enough for her, may be there are lots of hunks waiting for her or may be she is out of my reach. But I argue with myself what if this is just a Self-Fulfilling Prophecy. A thought that just popped up in my head and I am believing it as a fact. I don't know it for real because this all is just an illusion of mind anyway.
The desperation might be for possession. I want her....I want to possess her......Isn't this is a greed? A never-ending craving for more?
May be it is simply sexual.
But, the pain and sufferings are for real.

As this issue exposes it to me, I have come to confront the biggest weakness of mine, that wreaks havoc in my life from time to time. A Pivot as I used to call - is a thing that must happen or I am finished. For example....during my exam periods...when I think if I don't pass my exam then it will be all over and my whole life gets stuck on this one little thing. It creates tremendous anxiety and I do a very little actual work. This Pivot has penetrated almost all areas of my life. It narrows down my perception of the problem. So the bottomline is My life sucks.

[cdn2wheeler]

Originally Posted by rapidsnyc

Well, I am not sure if it is love or just infatuation.

It's infatuation, my friend.

Love isn't a feeling. It's a decision.

Originally Posted by rapidsnyc

this is just a Self-Fulfilling Prophecy. A thought that just popped up in my head and I am believing it as a fact. I don't know it for real because this all is just an illusion of mind anyway.

Yes, of course it is. Thing is, you have an advantage here, because you already recognize that it is a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Originally Posted by rapidsnyc

The desperation might be for possession. I want her....I want to possess her......Isn't this is a greed? A never-ending craving for more?
May be it is simply sexual.

Yep, it's a form of greed and desire for control. Nothing new under the sun. Not particularly healthy, but that doesn't mean it can't be overcome. The sex drive is a primal instinct, amazingly powerful and it can get us into all sorts of trouble. Wars have been waged, fortunes lost, power squandered and lives cut short because of our desire to get some.

That's why you should beware of those who say things like, "trust your feelings" and "go with your instinct" and "follow your heart" and all the rest. Feelings lie, especially when it comes to matters like this. Feelings matter, certainly, but they always must be tempered by common sense and your brains.

That's why we have a frontal lobe in our brain; so our emotions don't run rampant and get us into more trouble.

Originally Posted by rapidsnyc

But, the pain and sufferings are for real.

I know. I feel your pain; I've been there.

[frankfortpost]

I think some good points were made above.

Look at this as an opportunity. It's a chance to better yourself.

Mark Twain once said that there are only two important things in a man's life.

"Training and Temperment"

Training, the importance thereof, should be obvious. "Temperment", is the tamping down of your feelings, and your emotions. because it goes one of two ways.

Either, they control you, or, you, control them.

You cannot ever completely control them. But with "training", being aware of the emotions, you can, little by little, tamp them down.

The main thing is to not let your emotions overrun your rationality.

It is a habit. It will take time. You cannot do it overnight.

I would seek resources on controlling your emotions. Google should do fine. But, just know, that those emotions will flash out from time to time. The key is to be proactive, rather than reactive. Reactive responses generally bring negative results.

[frankfortpost]

I would also like to mention, that you could also direct those energies into positive activities, like working out, getting smarter, or shaping yourself in such a way that it would make herhappy.

The net result, whether you get the girl or not, is that you are a better person.

And, if you feel confident enough to ever ask her out, the worse she will say is "no".

And anyone who has walked through life, will tell you that more than one crush can occur in a man's life. With each "no", you literally lose your fear of asking girls out, or worrying about what they think about you.

[eblight]

If I was the girl I would be flattered to think someone had a crush on me and I believe most girls would. Like others have indicated why don't you take a risk and strike up a conversation with her and get to know her as another person who could also be interested in you?

[NotesMaeve]

Hee, Slamhot was telling me when he first had a crush on me! And I was a forbidden fruit because I had a boyfriend then! He actually CROPPED OUT my then boyfriend out of pictures with me in them. Isn't that cute? (And he still has those pictures!)

Crushes are normal. Talk to the girl! I'd say sit on her lap, because that totally cinched it for me falling in love with my honey, but I think I'm... unique in that way.

[jsot]

I felt the exact same way a few months ago, the problem was that it was one of my best friends so asking her out was out of the question. It got to the point that I could not think about anything but her and I was really screwed up for a while. If this is really becoming a problem and for whatever reason you don't think you can go out with her, try doing other things and thinking about other girls. It may take a while and eventually you'll get over this.

[lifequest]

Ok, I'm a girl who has been in the situation you've described (meaning being hit on by guy that seems to think the way you do), and I'm gonna explain to you why yes, with that kind of attitude, you certainly won't get her, or another girl for that matter. I apologize if I sound really cruel, but I find honesty is the best policy here.

Originally Posted by rapidsnyc

The reason I think she will not be mine is this [I]I think I not good enough for her, may be there are lots of hunks waiting for her or may be she is out of my reach..

Ok, correct me if I'm wrong, but you've just basically wrote that you don't value yourself, and that you have no self-esteem (or not much). No girl likes a guy with no self-esteem. But then again, no guy likes a girl with no self-esteem either. In this world, only twisted people want to be with low self-esteem people, and mainly for reasons that are not to your advantage. So, in my opinion, the first step lies with you: you gotta build self-esteem. It's long, hard, and there's not shortcut. Why do you think you're not good enough? You gotta find out why, get info on the subject of building self-esteem, and start building yourself up. And don't do it for anyone else. Do it for yourself, because you're worth it.

Originally Posted by rapidsnyc

The desperation might be for possession. I want her....I want to possess her......Isn't this is a greed? A never-ending craving for more?
May be it is simply sexual.

Honestly, if a guy wanted to possess me, I'd be running the other way. A person, whether a man or a woman, cannot be "possessed". It's called slavery. In my book, the only kind of relationship you can have is one where both parties could live on their own and lead separate, beautiful and happy lives, but instead they choose to live it together and become better persons together and build something greater than could do on their own.

Why do you want to "own" someone? Is it because you feel you don't have control over your life, so you would like to "control" someone else's? Thing is, you do have control over your life. Think about it. If you don't "control it", it's because you have chosen to give the control to someone/something else, hence you still chose. You controled your choice of giving away your control.

But the fact that you are asking yourself questions about the way you are acting and thinking is, in my opinion, a really good thing. It's a first step in the right direction. Pursue that path.

[hollowman]

Originally Posted by cdn2wheeler

Love isn't a feeling. It's a decision.

Really??? How come???

[frankfortpost]

Another method for all of you guys, or girls out there, is the "3 second rule".

The "3 second rule" states, that when you are near someone who you have the hots for, you have literally, 3 seconds to say something, anything, to get the conversation started.

Otherwise, most likely, you will talk yourself out of it with negative fears, that 90 percent of the time, are not valid.

"Hello", or "Hi there", is the best thing in the world you can say, in my opinion.

[4Mind4Life]

If you really desire to be with the girl, spend some time with her -- ask her out on a date, TALK TO HER.

If you feel that it is just a hormone surge, shift your focus by getting involved in other activities -- eventually this feeling will dissipate. Meanwhile, you must calm down AND force yourself to eat. I suggest doing some meditation OR using Neuro-Programmer 2 in the alpha / theta brainwave range to help you get sleep. You could also try taking melatonin to help yourself get some sleep. Exercise hard during the day & stay busy. You will find that it will be easy to fall asleep.

Originally Posted by rapidsnyc

I am having a overpowering crush on this certain girl I know. It's killing me. I can't sleep, eat... I had such a experience before couple of times and when I look back over it seems very foolish. I know this one is also gonna seem like that after some months.
But I can't help it. Please help me to end my sufferings

[MmeIntentional]

Originally Posted by rapidsnyc

I am having a overpowering crush on this certain girl I know. It's killing me. I can't sleep, eat... I had such a experience before couple of times and when I look back over it seems very foolish. I know this one is also gonna seem like that after some months.
But I can't help it. Please help me to end my sufferings

Hi Rapidsnyc

I'm not one to give advice at the mo because I havn't slept for in the last Friday morning nor left the flat... Same poo poo. I in my situation I did have a relationship. We liked each to a point that it was an over dose ...too much too soon, without having any space apart. So he has gone back to one of his sweet hearts but I don't really care, I don't really want him back, but I miss him and can't stop thinking about him. to the point that I'm sooo F*FFF##g angry with myself (that's a first for me) then I do want him then I say but what for?


I would say is..get out!
Ask her out for a coffee in the day time so it doesn't seem like a date and don't let your self go. She wouldn't want you if you do that because you would not have a drop of confidence.

The guy I that I still fancy was telling me that I could and deserve better than him. Than I was starting to think he's right. Then I said to myself it's not going to workout anyway..even if we had fun, he is a lost play boy...........this is just a Self-Fulfilling Prophecy so I keep telling myself... He see's me as some kinda posh snob with a high standard of living. ...that's totally rubbish for a start. I just enjoyed his company etc. until it came to ahead.

I'm not in any bubble or anything (that burst ages ago) but I just got to keep going.
You may want to ask yourself when do you thing you will take action or drop it? You don't want it to become a heavy mind F do you? The reason why I say this is because I have this newly xbf best friend messing up our relationship because he is totally obsessed with me in a freaky stalkering like way. So you don't want things to become nasty.

I hope I'm making sone sort of sense as I'm still a zombie.

I even don some EFT which made it 10x worse

Just know that your feelings will pass...

Rapidsnyc tell me what your favourite food is? I know your not hungry but buy it/cook it ...trust me when your ready to eat you will. I done 3 days without eating once...not over this man thou

Also take jsot's advice

Good luck to you and myself.. these things do come to test us

I'm off to bed now

[S04]

Originally Posted by rapidsnyc

Well, I am not sure if it is love or just infatuation. Actually I come to analyse it psychologically and I think it is not crush that is creating pain, but it is the despair that she will not be mine.
The reason I think she will not be mine is this I think I not good enough for her, may be there are lots of hunks waiting for her or may be she is out of my reach. So the bottomline is My life sucks.

You're right, she will never be yours. Go buy a dog.

Yep, I'm sure plenty of guys ask her out.

And again you're right, with that attitude your life must suck.

So you're three for three. You must be a clever guy to be right so much. Now how are you going to use that smartness to change your life and make sureself the kind of person that naturally attracts beautiful and intelligent women?

[MmeIntentional]

Originally Posted by S04

You're right, she will never be yours. Go buy a dog.

Yep, I'm sure plenty of guys ask her out.

And again you're right, with that attitude your life must suck.

So you're three for three. You must be a clever guy to be right so much. Now how are you going to use that smartness to change your life and make sureself the kind of person that naturally attracts beautiful and intelligent women?

Still awake

This made me laugh ...as I was going to by a dog the same week I met up with this bf.

I don't want to blow my own trumpet but I will anyway

Tapidsnyc. I'm hot, sexy with a body to die for, have a kinky quirky sense of humour, open honest loving personality... men hit on me all the time! PLUS I've been single for 6yrs by choice
As well as your tall dark horny.... I also love nerds, geeks, skinny runts. porky etc. Does this make them unavailable?
The funny thing is that the bf or x loves older looking women, mumsy with saggy bits, so that puts me of list his so to speak.


It's a shame your not here right in front of me! only joking!


Hypnosis | How Core Beliefs determine who you are

Mme.