loneliness and friendship

[Sakaguchi]

Hello everyone,

I'm usually not the one to write asking for advice, but I've been wallowing
on this subject for a couple of days now and I'd really like to hear some opinions.

Here it goes:

I used to have a couple of close friends at 18-19, but now as a 21 year
old I feel lonely as I have never been... Most of these people I used to be friends with are still in my life, but I don't feel their presence here as much as I'd like.

I know it's normal for people to drift apart, but most of those I mentioned are still close friends who call one another, talk about problems and whatever.

Meanwhile, I'm never remembered by them and have no intimacy to talk about problems with them anymore. I only get the every year happy birthday call and the ocasional invitation for reunions.

I have made other friends after them, but I still very lonely. I don't go out much cause everyone always have places to go already, and I have no one that at least bothers to call once in a while to see how I'm doing.

Even the person who says she's my best friend fails to do those things like a best friend should do. She has a lot of friends and there's barely time left for me.

I just feel like I'm such a loser cause there are so many fun things I could be doing, but mostly I have to one to do them with.

My loneliness began to bother me in the beggining of the year, and instead of wallowing in self-pity I decided to act on this...I figured that maybe if I took good care of myself and tried to be happy and independent life would eventually bring me new friends... Now I have other acquantances, but nothing really changed.

I tried to ask myself the possible reasons why I couldn't make anything different, and only one thing came to my mind: maybe I'm not being as fun and upbeat as I could be, since I'm not feeling happy (although I do a pretty good jog at hiding my sadness).

The more I think about it the more unhappy I feel, therefore I look even less apealling to other people even if I hide how I feel...

Is there a possible way for me to turn it around? How can I attract people and make new real friends if I'm not feeling happy? (I don't really have things to be happy about in my life right now).

Thank you for bothering to read this! Any feedback will be appreciated!

Sakaguchi

[Sunnybayes]

Here's the secret to having tones of friends.
Be friends with them first. Give them attention. Call them up, tell them happy birthday. Just call them up, say hello. Just say" Hey its been since a long time since I've said hello... just calling to say hello... What have you been up to? How are you? ...blablabla... yea I'm doing fine... well its nice to talk to you... maybe we should hang out sometime..., well bye..."

then maybe you could even invite them over.

I have no one that at least bothers to call once in a while to see how I'm doing.

Just call them up to see how they are doing. They probably think the same thing of you "he never calls me to see how I'm doing... I wish he would" if you want it, you got to start giving first, and then recieve back in abundance after that. People will seek you out if you give lots first.

Oh and... love your self first like you would love a girl friend... feel happy that way then you'd be able to give the love that you feel for yourself out to others.