hate Regrets, cant get over it.

[Angelwings]

My life sucks,
It seems like I made so many wrong decisions in my life and now i m unhappy. I m living in regrets most days.
" IF ONLY..." these words, I just cant seemed to get out of the procrastination that is severely breaking my motivation.
An example, at present moment, there are decisions i need to make regarding my relationships, I m avoiding having to make decisions coz i m afraid to choose the path i later regret.
I m afraid to date this guy, my mind tells me I should because I ve never been in a relationship before; my heart tells me I dont even like this guy, but then again my mind tells me I should date him to try it out for experience, then again, my heart tells me I m hurting him its not right, but then my mind tells me I m only young once, but my heart tells me I havent met d right guy and then my mind tells me I m getting older if i dont go for it U ll be lonely forever.

In general, I realised i have difficulties deciding because I always regret afterwards, I cant seemed to decide right there and then, I dont know if its a YES or a NO. It cud be anything,
I m trapped, Not seemed to be independent of making decisions.
At the same time, I m so unhappy because I cant decide, i hate to decide because I m regretting the pasts, i cant move, I afraid to decide.

Do u know what i mean? i m so confused as i m writing this, hope it made sense

[Ramsus]

I think that everyone does things that they wish they hadn't, but here's the thing to remember: It can't get better if you are focused on past mistakes, and it can't help but get better if you focus on the positive. The Law of Attraction really does work, and if you focus on the good things that are already in your life, and the good things that you want in your life, they will come.

As far as dating advice goes, I'm pretty useless, sorry, but what I can tell you is this: don't do something because you are afraid of what will happen if you don't do it. Instead of asking yourself what you don't want, and then trying to figure out how to avoid that, ask yourself what you do want and figure out how to get it. Instead of saying I don't want to be alone, say I want to be with a great guy that I really connect with.

I know that all of this is much easier said than done, but you can do it. Good luck.

[Tigerlilly]

Probably the best way to go about decisions is to just keep the goal in mind, finding out what your heart desires, and just keep that in mind like a beacon of light.

Sometimes you can't fgure out the connection a present decision might possibly have on your path, or how to get there where you want to go at all, so keeping in tune with your true desire works like a spiritual GPS system. Even when your mind is in the total dark it gets you where you want to be.

As far as being together with a guy you don't feel drawn to just cause you seem to have no choice, don't do it. From my own experience I can tell you there's nothing awaiting you down that path that you want to experience, you can only loose and feel much worse.

And you do have a choice, it's just fear and lack of self-esteem that tell you otherwise. I remember there's a podcast by Steve that covers these situations where you feel left with no alternative but those that look undesirable, you might want to check it out.

Be kind to yourself. We tend to be cruel and behave towards ourself in a way we wouldn't want any other living being to be treated if we thought it through. You have a right to happiness, to enjoy a fulfilled relationship with a guy you truly love, and you can have that.

[Gary]

You spend a lot of time describing the problem and the consequences. It's a decent diagnosis at a top level. However, you make no mention of a want or desire to change it.

Do you want to continue with the analysis that takes you on a downward spiral, or are you interested in how your mind, emotions, and your life can be different?

[Jennihul]

I think the crux of your issue is that you think life is 'all or nothing.' That your simple choices can or will make or break your life. This is simply not true.

Try thinking of yourself riding in the palm of the hand of a purely comforting omnipotent being taking you on a ride where ever you want to go. That every choice you make is the right choice. There is no bad or good. There is no right or wrong, if what you choose doesn't carry with it the intention to injure or harm yourself or others.

If you accept that you can find happiness ONLY inside yourself and that it never ever ever comes from outside of you, or from your possessions or from the people you know, the money you make or the people you date, then you will never have to worry that a choice could bring you unhappiness. You are your own fountainhead of happiness.

Every choice, whether it turns out to have positive or negative connotations to you personally, cannot be the wrong choice. Just a learning experience to take you to the next step on your path.

You are always right where you need to be, at that instant in time.

It's a very pleasant, comfortable philosophy.

Jennifer