Extrovert to Introvert

[champ21]

Hey Guys-
Quick question. Anybody ever gone from being the energetic and non-stop chatter type to never having energy or anything to talk about with people? Ive experienced this change in the past couple months and am trying to break out of it. I hate being quiet and introverted yet I cant seem to get the confidence or motivation to talk anymore. Any ideas?

[Fullcrum]

1. You do not give a damn about what anyone thinks of you. What you say is uniquely valuable simply because it represents you.

2. Your game is a ten. A perfect 100% TEN! When you believe this with 100% conviction, your socializing and results will skyrocket. Instantly. Just need 100% belief.

Accept that you feel the way you do now. Don't label it, just observe it. "Hmm..." Just silent presence. Then ruthlessly and relentlessly, 100% instill the above two points and you'll be out of your rut in no time. Worked for me .

[Catlover]

I agree with some of what Fulcrum says in that there is a "confidence" factor, but there is also the factor of identifying and leveraging your source of energy in social interactions. The true difference between an extrovert and introvert is whether one is generating mental/emotional energy from being with others or from being alone. And yes, I think that the source of energy can change in a person, particularly as a teen or young adult. But once you know where you get your energy from, I believe that you can work toward achieving the proper balance so that if you do not generate energy being with others, then you build in alone time to recharge and prepare yourself for social contact. In other words, being an introvert should not be a life sentence for aloneness.

Another thing that I've recently noticed in myself is that although I am an introvert (basically I'm right on the line between the two and just slightly over into introvert), I can generate energy similar to an extrovert when I am interacting with people who share my passions and interests. For example, talking with other musicians and people interested in personal development is incredibly energizing and revitalizing for me. I cannot do the same, for example, in a work-related setting for the sake of "networking" with others. That type of contact will be draining for me, and I will be thinking constantly about how to keep the conversation going and what to do next. With like minded individuals, I achieve "flow" in my conversation. Thus, I've decided that is important for me to seek out more relationships with people with similar interests. Seems like this conclusion should have been apparent to me a long time ago, but it wasn't. I used to approach socializing with a scarce mentality rather than from a position of abundance. I thought that I had to have a great conversation or try to be friends with everyone who came along in case someone else didn't come along. I am now trying to approach it with the thought that I am in the process of identifying and choosing the people that I want to interact with. The role of "choosing" is not a comfortable one for me.

I hope my comments help in some way.

[4Mind4Life]

Yes, I've experienced this change.

I went from "most outgoing" to introvert over the span of about 6 months. I used to be hyped up w/ rapid thoughts & energy. I honestly don't mind the change @ all because I now feel calm, focused and relaxed. I noticed that my thinking has slowed and I don't feel obliged to talk to everyone in sight like I used to. I feel good!

How has you're behavior changed since being extroverted? What are you doing differently since the change?

I suggest:

1) Join toastmasters / some sort of club & attend social gatherings.

2) Get yourself out there, start being around people.

Good luck! You should be able to break out of an introverted state of mind if that is what you truly desire.

[alexyeo]

Since being "introvert" is your comfort zone, you need to get out of it.

And leaving your comfort zone may be the hardest thing to do since you are so used to it.

Just go out and talk to more people. Don't think of any "failure" outcomes, eg: people might not like you, they may not want to talk to you, you have nothing interesting to talk about etc.

The fact is, most people won't reject you. You just need to take the 1st step, though it may be hard right now. But you gotta do it. Who knows people are waiting for you to talk to them too?

[LifeFirst]

How is being introverted and quiet bad anyways?? It's how a lot of people are, and there's nothing wrong with that.

[cdn2wheeler]

Originally Posted by LifeFirst

How is being introverted and quiet bad anyways?? It's how a lot of people are, and there's nothing wrong with that.

I'm a strong introvert and while there's nothing inherently wrong with that, the fact is that extroversion is celebrated and honoured while introversion is not.

The person who's comfortable with business networking, for instance, will likely have a relatively easier time making connections which can lead to increased success. Same with relationships. More connections with others often leads to higher chances of scoring that one perfect partner,.

Introverts like me, while I can do that sort of glad-handing "hail fellow well met" and backslapping for a short time, need time alone to recuperate. It's exhausting.

[dancer]

Hi Champ,

By all accounts you have had a tough time of it, these past months. I suggest you try not to label yourself and accept how you feel at this time instead of fighting it.

When I am happy I have loads of energy for others and am also a bit of a chatterbox, but when I'm sad or down, I prefer to be alone to do some self-healing. When I have forced myself to be socialable it is often counter-productive and I end up feeling worse.

Why not spend time with people who you feel comfortable with and its ok to be quiet with. Do some sport, go for long walks, work on your PD and be nice to yourself. Direct the energy you usually give to others to yourself. Soon you will be back to being the happy, sociable chatterbox you were or rather are.