Need Outside Perspective

[Michelle]

I'm in a master's program for vocal performance. My remaining obligations to the school are weekly voice lessons and my final master's recital in February 2008.

This past summer I was engaged professionally to sing main roles in two operas. It was a great experience and I really felt myself grow and blossom there. Returning to school was hard though and since the new semester started I have felt blocked, unable to practice, with feelings of dread and avoidance before voice lessons ... it is not a good situation.

So, I wrote my professor that I'd like to prepare my final recital alone without lessons. After 8 years of study, my success does not depend upon these three months.

She refuses to even speak to me about this possibility. The moment there is any conflict she calls me "unprofessional". I dislike that and feel my request should be taken seriously.

I also feel I will sing a better recital if I am allowed to work alone now. My choices are:

- stick it out and suffer with her til the end, perhaps sing a weak final exam

- make the decision to leave her class and prepare my exam on my own, sing a strong exam. There may, however, be consequences if the school does not agree with the arrangement. I may be thrown out of school with no diploma.

That said, a performance degree is not worth a lot in my profession. I already have my pedagogical degree which is most important and I have received the education of a master's program.

Am I missing something? Am I somehow in the wrong? I just see that I became stronger this summer while performing and now that doesn't fit somehow in the relationship.

I would be grateful for any thoughts or advice.

[cdn2wheeler]

She probably feels you've challenged her competence in requesting to work on your own without her input, so she's got her back up about it. It's not about wrong or right, it's about power.

Your instructor clearly has the power to at least make your life difficult for these next few months, and she has the potential to sidetrack your getting a diploma.

In any field, whether it's musical performance or welding pipe, one is going to run into people that they grate against.

What an outstanding learning experience! The world that you're in right now - that is, the world of academia - is providing a sheltered environment to learn not only about your craft, but about how to manage these sorts of issues.

So use the opportunity to your advantage. Take the lessons with your prof, and even if you don't learn anything more about vocal training, you're bound to learn a lot about how to deal with difficult people.

I look forward to hearing you sing!

[Matthew Shea]

I'd agree with cdn. Hard as it may be, I'd say it's best to swallow your pride and stick this class out. Chances are the school will side with a professor over a student, especially when you're questioning the curriculum, and in the big scheme of things, this isn't that much time. Who knows, you might even learn something from her, even if it's only how to deal with PITA people like cdn mentioned.

[Michelle]

Thank you both for your replies. They were helpful. I have decided to stick it out until the end, as I really have nothing to fear or worry about. It shouldn't be me who has to run away, and staying just once again proves who is the professional.